


The War Rages On

by Gallavich_On_The_Impala



Category: Our Girl, Shameless (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - War, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blowjobs, Eventual Happy Ending, Explicit Sexual Content, Fingering, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mention of Past Abuse, Rimming, Slow Burn, Smut, TW: Blood, i mean it's war what did you expect, mention of past rape, mentions of child abuse, shots fired/wounds/etc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-20
Updated: 2015-06-22
Packaged: 2018-03-25 00:01:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 41,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3789172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gallavich_On_The_Impala/pseuds/Gallavich_On_The_Impala
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ian Gallagher is a young man who comes from a poor family and doesn’t know what to do with his life. He decides to join the army as a medic against his family’s will. When he is deployed, he learns a lot of tough lessons about life and war, but he also meets Mickey Milkovich, his commanding officer and love of his life.<br/>For the purpose of this fanfic, Ian and Mickey meet for the first time in the army and Ian is not sick.</p><p>This is a Gallavich AU based on the BBC series Our Girl. I own nothing (characters, plot etc.)<br/>The fic follows the storyline of the tv show but the ending is different (way less sad).<br/>It’s not necessary for you to have seen the show to understand the story, although I strongly suggest it because it’s great, really well written and sometimes heartbreaking.<br/>The title comes from the song that's in the opening credits of the show.<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> The prologue is a bit long and it’s all about Ian, like in the show, but it’s just the set up for the whole story. Just bear with me.  
> Also, I’m trying to follow the advice I got as feedback of my first multichap fanfic. This is my second. English is not my first language. I’m still learning. I hope you like it anyway. Cheers!

It was a grey autumn morning in the South Side of Chicago. Dark clouds covered the sun, making the day gloomy and cold.  
Ian Gallagher was home, he sat alone in the living room as the tv passed the news of more american soldiers killed in a terrorist attack. He stroke his fierce red hair with his right hand, biting his lip in fury. He hated the whole world when he heard stories like that, when someone’s son, husband, brother came back in a coffin for his country.  
He clenched his jaw, feeling bitter and helpless.

Ian’s eldest sister, Fiona, interrupted his stream of thoughts as she barged in the room, her slim body only half-dressed, yelling orders to the younger siblings. Ian smiled at her motherly attitude. She smothered him in an embrace, placing a kiss on his cheek.  
“Look at my baby brother becoming a man!” she yelled, excited. “Any plans for your big day?”  
The redhead shrugged. “Not really”. He didn’t have many friends, and he felt he had nothing to celebrate anyway. He turned eighteen and still hadn’t figured out what he wanted to do with his life.

Carl and Debbie, his younger siblings rushed in to hug him and sing happy birthday to him, as his older brother Lip appeared in his underwear, ruffling his hair, still 75% asleep and muttered a “happy birthday bro!”.  
They all sat at the table as Fiona fixed them some breakfast and Ian prepared the lunches for the kids still in school. Lip was already in college. He was the smart one in the family, the one who was gonna make it out of that shithole and become someone. Fiona had miraculously landed an office job and the pay was actually decent, which was kind of a first for the Gallagher family.  
Ian instead, was a cashier at the neighborhood convenience store. He had taken that job when he was fifteen and he thought he was just gonna work it until the end of the summer to put some cash in the squirrel fund. And yet, there he was, three years later, still behind that counter, still fucking his married boss.

“Do you think Kash will still fuck you now that you’re 18?” giggled Lip in Ian’s ear, smirking, as he made sure Fiona didn’t hear.  
The redhead rolled his eyes. He knew his brother didn’t approve of his affair, but still it kinda hurt when he criticized it so harshly. To Ian, Kash wasn’t a pedophile, he just thought he was pretty mature for his age and anyway he wasn’t forcing him. He didn’t like that his lover had a wife and children, of course, but being gay in the South Side was hard as it was.

Their morning routine was ruined when Frank, their deadbeat dad, walked in, smelling like a distillery and slurring random words.  
Fiona rolled her eyes as she tackled him, helped by Lip, before he could reach the rooms upstairs. They put him on the couch instead, and let him crash there, deciding to deal with the problem when he was going to wake up.

Ian spent his whole day in total apathy. He went to work, where Kash gave him a present and a quick fuck in the back room, then went back home to find Fiona and Frank fighting over money again. He realized, baffled, that he couldn’t feel anything. He cared for his family, of course, but he was numb. It was like he was in a bubble, the yelling was distant and couldn’t touch him, even though he was in the same room as them.  
He climbed the stairs, back to his room to find Lip sprawled on his bed, waiting for him.  
“Hey, bro. So you wanna go out tonight? I got some weed, we can chill somewhere.” he proposed.  
“I need a drink” murmured Ian, still cold and pensive.  
“Drink it is!” agreed Lip.  
The older boy wasn’t too happy to find out Ian had taken him to a gay bar. Not that he was homophobic or anything else, but he was kinda hoping to take someone home. Instead, he had to be Ian’s bodyguard, fighting off all the creepy old dudes who tried to cop a feel of his younger brother.  
Ian drank like a fish, trying unsuccessfully to drink away the numbness that tormented him, wanting to cry as he realized there was nothing in Chicago for him. Feeling Lip’s hand on his forehead as he puked in an alley near the bar, he acknowledged that he had to do something before he became another South Side piece of trash wasting away.

He didn’t even manage to assimilate Frank’s rumbling that night, when he got home. His old man was slurring racist words, as usual, screaming that immigrants stole his job or whatever and ending it with a sarcastic “Thanks Obama!”.  
Lip smirked and the two boys crashed on their beds and fell asleep instantly.

 

The morning after, a little hungover but with a feeling of motivation that was new to him, Ian walked in a recruitment office.  
“So, you wanna work for Uncle Sam?” asked a tall soldier as he looked at him.  
“Just checking out the options” Ian replied.  
“Well, no one’s forcing you. I mean, we won’t put you in the back of a truck just because you came here. We only want soldiers who want to be soldiers.” the guy reassured him, as he handed him some pamphlets about the U.S. Army.  
Ian felt his heart beating faster and faster as he read about all the corps and the special forces.  
“You know, there’s a preliminary test that you can take on your computer, if you pass that you can move to bootcamp, and after those two days you can decide for yourself.” the soldier explained, moving his hands as he spoke.  
“I don’t think I’ll pass the test” sighed Ian, resigned.  
“And why is that, son?” the other man asked.  
“Because I’m stupid” the redhead shrugged.  
“Well, let’s take the test and see how stupid you are.” smiled the soldier.  
“What? Now?” he asked, confused.  
“Of course, why wait.” was the answer.

The tall man lead him to a room with a desk that had an old PC on it. He pointed at the chair and Ian sat, waiting for the program to start.  
“You have twenty minutes, it’ll be more than enough” the soldier reassured him again.

********

A couple of days later, Ian received a weird brown envelope in the mail. He opened it alone, hiding it from his family. Against all odds he had passed - aced, actually - the preliminary test, and was invited to spend the weekend at an army base just outside Chicago for bootcamp.  
He clutched the piece of paper, holding it close to his chest. He realized he wanted this more than anything else at the moment. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt something like this. He smiled to himself.

At dinner, he announced to his family that he was gonna spend a couple of days away from home. He said something about going to see a friend from out of town. He didn’t really have friends, so to Lip and Fiona this was rather suspicious, but he was interrupted - and saved - by a drunk Frank that barged in, forcing the siblings to drop everything and push him out.

“And get a job!” yelled Lip to his father, as he slammed the door on him.  
“I’m sick!” the drunk man replied.  
“Yeah, in the head” murmured Fiona, mostly to herself.

 

********

The first day of bootcamp made Ian regret all the times he hadn’t paid attention to math in high school. He passed the physical and the medical test without even trying, but math was a bitch to him.  
Physically and mentally tired after a day of tests, he crawled to his bunk bed and after a quick chat with his bunk buddy, he fell asleep like a baby.  
The morning after was equally tiring. First, he had to introduce himself to the other recruits. It was a simple name-age-background speech, but he didn’t want to do it.

“Do we have a volunteer?” asked the Corporal. He was a tough man but fair, and he was giving him a hard time. Ian had never fallen in line, he had never obeyed orders, so he tried to get out of it with some sarcastic remarks that the officer didn’t like.  
“How about the class fool?” the soldier asked, tilting his head a little as he looked at Ian.  
The redhead locked eyes with him, defiant.  
“Stand up, recruit!” he ordered. Ian kept staring, and stood up after a while.  
“If you don’t learn to obey your orders you won’t last long in the U.S. Army son. The machine works because every little piece of it knows its place. I won’t let you be the sand in the engine of my machine.” he warned him.

Ian nodded, defeated and stood in front of the class.  
“My name is Ian Gallagher, I’m 18 and I come from Chicago. South Side.” he said.  
“I just.. I don’t really know what I’m doing with my life or with myself. I just know that when I got the letter I felt different. I felt alive. And being here is finally making me feel again, and I don’t want it to end.” he shrugged.  
The Corporal nodded, impressed, as the class clapped his hands to him as he sat back in his seat.

*************

Ian kept pacing, restless. He was in a corridor, still at the army base, waiting to be called for the final interview. He was nervous, scared that he’d tank it. Afraid of rejection.  
“Gallagher!” someone screamed behind a door. He knocked and entered, wiping his sweaty hands on the back of his jeans. The office was small, it only had a desk and two chairs on either side of it, plus a few framed pictures on the wall and a plant in the corner.  
He shook the soldier’s hand. He was not his corporal. He was tall, blond and tanned.  
“Sit down Gallagher” he said. Ian obeyed.  
“So, why should the U.S. Army accept you, train you and send you to fight for your country? And please, don’t give me any of that ‘because it’s the thing I want the most in the world’ crap” he asked.  
“Well.. I think that probably.. If I give it my best shot, I won’t be the worst” he shrugged, a little pleased with his smugness.  
The soldier’s face hardened. He didn’t like being mocked.  
“Gallagher, is this a joke to you?” he looked pissed.  
“No. Sorry. It’s just that I don’t really know how to convince you that I’m worth a damn, to be honest” he spilled.  
“Your test results were pretty impressive. Your corporal only complained about your attitude, and I see why, but that can be fixed.”  
“Just.. Just give me a chance..” Ian muttered, interrupting the officer.  
“And why should I do that?” he asked.  
“Because I’ve never had one.” admitted the redhead, honest.  
His answer had struck the officer deeply. He didn’t think twice as he grabbed a green stamp and pressed it on Ian’s file.  
“Welcome to the U.S. Army, son.” he said, and he shook his hand as they both stood up.

******

Ian entered the Gallagher house with a broad smile, surprising his siblings.  
“I’ve been accepted!” he exclaimed.  
Confusion rose on the others' faces.  
“I wasn’t away with a friend this weekend. I was at bootcamp” he confessed. “I.. I enlisted. I’m leaving next monday for basic.”  
His siblings looked alarmed and betrayed. Lip stood up, angry because his brother hadn’t shared the news with him.  
“What the fuck?” he managed to say.  
“I’m joining the Army!” replied Ian, happy “Do you remember when we were in like seventh grade? All I could talk about was enlisting..” he tried.  
“Yeah. And.. I don't know, I thought it was some kind of stupid, fucked-up adolescent phase, I mean you really want to get your ass shot off in some.. Some -Stan somewhere?” said Lip, alarmed. He didn’t even want to conceive the idea of losing his baby brother. The one who had gone through everything with him since he had memories.  
“Stan?” asked Ian, confused.  
“Yeah, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Iraqistan…” he explained.  
“I guess I'm a patriot.” shrugged the redhead.  
“Fuck.” muttered Fiona and Lip.

Debbie suddenly started crying, and hugged Ian so hard she knocked the breath out of his lungs.  
“I love you” she said, through the tears.  
“Glad someone does” he muttered, looking at Lip, and then he said “I love you too, Debs. I love all of you. But I need to do this. I want to do this.”  
“Are they gonna give you a real gun?” Carl asked, curious.  
“Yeah, that’s part of the deal” smiled the redhead.  
“Cool.” he nodded.

"Do you really have to go?" asked Fiona, on the verge of tears.  
"I want to go" Ian replied.  
His sister nodded and hugged him, hiding her face in the crook of his neck, and that settled the argument.

After breaking the news to his family, Ian went to see Kash, to tell him too.  
“So what, you’re leaving me? Like that?” the older man asked.  
“Yeah, well.. It’s not like we were together anyway.. I mean, the point is I’m joining the army!” he repeated.  
“Great move. So they can teach you to hate us better?” he said, bitter.  
“Us?” he asked, confused.  
“I’m a muslim, Ian!” he yelled.  
“Oh for fuck’s sake” Ian started.  
“You’re a selfish, silly little boy!” Kash screamed, as he turned his back on him, wiping away a few tears.

 

*************  
Ian was standing in line with eleven other recruits, listening to the Corporal’s speech, trying his best not to check him out. But really, the Army had done a fine job with that man. He had broad shoulders and beefy arms. He wasn't really Ian's type, but he was handsome.

“Recruits! For the next fourteen weeks I am your everything. I am your mother, your father, your wife, your husband, your grandma. I am yours, but most importantly, you are mine! I will push you harder than you think you can take, and if you don’t let me, I will break you! I will do anything in my power to make you pass, but I only have fourteen weeks to make soldiers out of you! Now it’s the time to separate the shit from the clay, ‘cause I don’t want shit on my hands!” he yelled, only a few inches away from Ian’s face, who laughed silently.  
“Something funny, private?” he asked.  
“No, sir. I’m sorry” Ian dropped it.  
The Corporal then went on to explain their tasks, as he lead them to the room where they got their kit.  
He instructed them on how to handle it, iron it and keep it clean, and proceeded to explain how a locker inspection works.

“Your locker must be like your mind. What does that mean, Private Gallagher?” he interrogated him.  
“Dirty?” Ian asked, causing a giggle in the room.  
“Very funny, private. Listen, recruits. I’m not here to wipe your ass! I’m here to point at your ass and tell you to wipe it! In two weeks I want to _not_ tell you to wipe it! I want you to have it already figured out!” he screamed, and then left the room so the boys could relax a bit.

The morning after they were abruptly woken up at 5:30 by the Corporal screaming at them, followed by a two mile run and some more training.  
After that, the Corporal had them all stand in line, at ease, and said  
“This job is not a walk in the park. I want you all to understand that. All of you are sons, husbands, brothers. If anything happens to you, you will be missed. Deeply and terribly. That’s why you will write a letter from the grave, which will be handed to your family in the worst case scenario.”

The speech sort of downed the morale around the platoon, so the boys were given a free night that they spent playing ping pong and overall being silly.

Training went on, slowly and excruciatingly for a few more weeks.  
Preparing for the morning drill, Ian noticed that two beds were empty. He didn’t have the time to question it, because the Corporal barged in the room.  
“As you can see, your number has downed to ten. That is because two of your fellow soldiers have been declared UFAS. What does that mean Private Gallagher?” he asked.  
“Unfit For Army Service, sir.” he replied, quick.  
“Very good. Will you be the next?” he asked again.  
“Sir, no, sir.” Ian stated.  
“Good.” he finished, commanding the soldiers to leave the compound and meet him in the yard for their morning run.

“Gallagher, a word?” he asked.  
Ian stopped and turned to him. “Sir.” he said.  
“At ease” he commanded “I was wondering why I haven’t got your letter from the grave yet. You are a good soldier, son. Stop trying to break us.”  
“Are you trying to break me?” asked Ian.  
“No. we want you to be a part of us, instead of the one who’s on the outside.” he reassured him.  
Ian didn’t answer.  
“There was a guy like you during my first tour. Always laughing, everything was a joke to him. He was always on the outside. Until, one day, he stepped on a mine and lost both his legs.” he explained. “What we’re doing to you, we’re doing to save your life, Private.”

That night, the Corporal found an envelope on his desk. It was a letter from the grave with Ian Gallagher’s name on it.

A few weeks later, Ian graduated from basic training and moved to medical. He decided he wanted to help people. He was finally happy to have found what he wanted, and he was determined to pursue it.

Leaving the building in his uniform, Ian couldn’t help himself but smile, as he heard the corporal saying to the new recruits “ For the next fourteen weeks I am your everything. I am your mother, your father, your wife, your husband, your grandma. I am yours, but most importantly, you are mine!”.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian is deployed to Afghanistan, and as he adjusts he meets Captain Mickey Milkovich, his officer in command, and can't help but falling for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and bearing with me. I hope you like it, I swear I'm trying!   
> Feedback is welcome!

Ian looked around, confused by the noises and the explosions, scared by the sound of the bullets that the other soldiers kept firing.  
“Man down!” he screamed in his ear piece.  
He ducked to check the pulse of the young man, but he couldn’t feel it. He closed his eyes in resignation and moved to the next casualty. He ran towards another wounded soldier, who appeared to have lost both his lower legs to a mine. He talked to him, trying to tranquilize him, but obviously failing. He reassured him though, that he’d do his best to save him, while putting tourniquet on both of his calves.  
Suddenly another explosion shook the air, as Ian dragged the soldier behind a tank to shield him.  
Another man had lost his foot. Ian ran to him to clean the wound and stabilize it before taking him behind the tank with the other injured soldier.

His Corporal interrupted the drill, standing up from the middle of the field. “Well done, Gallagher. Why did you start with Johnson and not me?” he questioned.  
“Because you were completely involved in the explosion sir. Nothing left to do. Whereas Johnson was suffering severe blood loss, I had to intervene straightaway and then move him away from the field, sir.” he explained.  
“Very well, soldier. It’s a bit cold out here, isn’t it?” the officer asked.  
“Yeah, it’s chilly” Ian smiled, tired but happy to have finished his drill.  
“Pack your sunscreen, then. You’re off to Afghanistan to substitute an injured medic. It’s hot as balls there.” he smirked, patting him on the shoulder. “You have tonight to pack your kit and say goodbye to your family. You’re to report to Corporal Kinders tomorrow morning at 11:00 for departure. You’ll be attached to his section, under Captain Milkovich. It’s not gonna be easy, Gallagher. You’re serving your country. Do yourself proud.” he finished.

Ian was part terrified, part excited. It all came down to this. All the training and the outrageous amount of studying had finally paid off.  
Every single one of his sibling cried his eyes out that night, but he didn’t. He was driven. He wanted to go.

When he got to the base, the plane was already waiting for them. All his fellow soldiers were standing in front of a camera, talking to each other.  
“Private Gallagher!” he heard.  
He turned and saw Corporal Kinders staring at him.  
“Yes Corporal” he nodded, standing straight.  
“Welcome to the Under Fives” he said, pointing at the soldiers. “You are with Section Two. Double in and join them.”  
Ian obeyed, and ran to stand in front of the camera too, when suddenly the mild chit-chat died as a man approached them.  
“Can it really take you massive dickbags this long to get into your sections for a fucking photograph?” he said. Everyone scrambled to get in position.  
It was clearly a man you don’t wanna cross. Ian realized it must have been Captain Milkovich, but he couldn’t stop the broad smile from appearing on his face.  
“What are you laughing at, medic?” the Captain asked, stern.  
Ian giggled a little and replied “Dickbags, sir.”   
Captain Milkovich bit his lip, pissed.  
“For the benefit of our alleged new medic, who are we?” he asked to the troops.  
“The Under Fives, sir!” replied them, at once.  
“And why do you think they’re called that, medic?” Milkovich asked again, getting closer to Ian’s face. His deep blue eyes piercing through the redhead.  
“I don’t know, sir” stuttered Ian.  
“Well, take a look” he encouraged.  
Ian turned around and gazed at the soldiers’ faces for a few seconds.  
“They look young, sir?” he tried.  
“And they’re all in my charge. So if you can’t cut it as our medic and part of the team I have no hesitation in lobbying you out of the plane. Is that understood, private?” He asked, raising his eyebrows.  
“Yes sir.” said Ian.

As they boarded the plane, a young man approached Ian. “Hey Gallagher” he greeted him.  
Ian turned to see who it was and saw a man as tall as him, with dark chestnut hair, light blue eyes and a strong jawline. It was Roger Spikey, his former school mate and lover.  
“Oh fuck me” he muttered to himself.  
“Been there, done that” the other man smirked as Ian rolled his eyes.  
“Listen, don't say anything to the others, yeah?” begged Ian, warily.  
“You don't want me to tell the lads?” teased Roger, a little put off.  
“No. It was a one time thing.” Ian insisted.  
“I dunno if I'm comfortable not telling my comrades the truth.” he replied, mockingly.  
“Well I'm one of your comrades now so you'd better not let me down.” Ian cut the conversation.

Of course the soldier didn’t keep his word and the whole plane knew about their little fling in a matter of minutes. The only one that looked bothered, though, was Captain Milkovich, who looked at him from the corner of his eyes, biting his lower lip. Ian thought that probably he was just worried for the soldiers he had to look after.  
His comrades were alright, they teased them for a while and made a few gay jokes, none of them too harsh anyways. 

They arrived in Camp Bastion, Afghanistan, after a long and boring flight.   
Everything was beige there, from the sand to the camp. It was full of beige tents filled with beige dressed men and women.   
It really was hot as balls, especially wearing full gear, helmets too.   
They followed Captain Milkovich walking in line through the camp. After a couple of minutes of _left, right, left, right._ they got to a tent, and stopped in front of it.  
“Section! Halt! Right turn!” the officer screamed, and the soldiers complied. “Platoon! Atten-tion!”  
Everyone stood straight as an officer spoke to them.  
“Welcome to Afghanistan. You will be here at Camp Bastion for a few days assimilation, and then you are to be deployed on a mission. You have an excellent captain, Mickey Milkovich, on his fourth tour of Afghanistan.”  
The raven haired man nodded at the mention of his name.  
“So you will listen. Follow his instructions to the letter. Do well, apply yourselves and you'll have a good tour.” the officer concluded.

Captain Milkovich stepped in. “Fellas! I'll be leading a PT session at 05.30. Make sure you hydrate tonight and first thing in the morning. Any of you helmets not on top form and giving me 100% will get my new regulation combat boot six lace holes up your asses. Rest, soldiers!”

The boys settled in their tent, managing their kits under the camp beds and a few of them lay there, to rest for a while. Of course Ian was next to Roger.   
“Dunno if I can put up with six months of this.” muttered Ian.  
“Yeah, you can.” shrugged Roger.  
“The Captain already hates me.” the redhead shook his head.  
“He’s just a bit.. you know.. Captainy? I’m sure he’ll grow to like you sooner or later” he reassured him. Ian didn’t really know why Roger was being nice to him. It was confusing. First he outed him in front of the whole platoon and now he wanted to be his friend?  
“Maybe I don’t want him to like me.” Ian said, cocky.  
“Fuck off. He's a better person than you'll ever be.” replied Roger, sharp. Ian sensed that there was something he didn’t know, and he was sorry for triggering such a reaction, but the other man had already turned his back on him so he considered the argument closed.

Ian stood up and went outside the tent, quickly followed by one of his comrades.   
“Hey” said the other soldier, with his strong southern accent. He was short and not really muscular. His skin was dark and his voice deep.  
“Don’t mind Smurf.” he reassured him.  
“Smurf?” asked Ian.  
“Roger. We call him Smurf ‘cause he looks like one” he giggled.  
Ian smiled. “So you know him?”  
“I knew his twin brother. He was killed during my last tour.” he explained.  
Ian’s jaw dropped, unable to utter words.  
“Milkovich was his captain too. That’s why Smurf won’t hear a bad word about him. When his brother got shot in the neck on patrol, the Captain crawled about 200 feet on his belly just to get him and bring him back. He wouln’t leave him as a trophy for the Taliban. He’d do the same for you.” he said.  
“Let’s hope he doesn’t have to.” replied Ian, still baffled by the discovery.

Suddenly the roaring of a helicopter interrupted their talk as Captain Milkovich ran towards Ian.  
“Six injured. All medical personnel report to the hospital. Come on, Gallagher!” he yelled. Ian ran after him towards the medical tent.

There, watching the men with massive wounds, something inside Ian froze. He couldn’t move. He was stuck and terrified. He ran outside the tent as quick as he could, not even looking where he was going. He bumped into Mickey's chest.  
“Oh fuck me. Don’t tell me we’ve got the only medic who can’t stand the sight of blood.” the Captain complained.  
Ian almost cried. “Sorry sir. I.. I just thought my training would kick in at some point.”   
“It will, private. It will. Give it time. Just not too much time, alright? I don’t want to lose any of my men.” he stated.  
Ian nodded quickly.

******  
The next morning at 5:30 Ian was fighting to stay awake, trying to tie his trainers for the PT session. When he walked outside the tent he saw the whole platoon in their gear, helmets and all, while he was only wearing shorts and a tank top.   
For a second there, he couldn’t help but think the Captain was checking him out, but soon he had to fight that thought when the officer yelled at him “Next time come in your underwear, won’t you Gallagher?" The platoon giggled. "It’s full kit, Private.” he remarked.  
“Yes sir” nodded Ian and went quickly to change.

After the PT and a much needed shower, the platoon reunited in the briefing tent, where the Captain started explaining their mission.  
“So, we're out of Bastion in the morning and heading to our special little Forward Operating Base. This will be home for the immediate. When we arrive at the village we will link up with a small tally of Afghan National Army. There's a Taliban cell destabilizing the area. Any questions?”  
“No, sir.” replied the soldiers.  
“We need the locals to like us and, more importantly, to trust us. Nobody let me down. Right, our task on the ground is to support, assist and advise the Afghan National Army with patrols around the general area of the fob and facilitate the local children's safe passage to their school. Sound easy?” he asked.  
“Kinda” replied Ian, honest.  
“Then get your head out of your ass, Gallagher.” spat out Mickey. “There is no such thing as an easy mission out here. You’ll be flown out in your sections 04:00 hours tomorrow. So tonight I'll need you all to have seen the medic. It's like speed dating, Gallagher - one minute each and then you sod them off out of it.”   
The guys laughed, and the Captain did too, pleased with his joke. “Gallagher, a word.” said Mickey.  
Ian stood where he was as the others left the tent.  
“Boys giving you a hard time?” he asked, he looked genuinely worried.  
“I just feel like I keep getting off on the wrong foot. I keep saying the wrong things.” Ian admitted. “Like, I’m trying to prove myself, just like they are..”   
“You'll be fine, I promise you.” Mickey said, placing a hand on Ian’s shoulder.  
“I froze in the hospital.” Ian started, his voice trembling.  
“You’ll be fine.” insisted the Captain. It takes time and.. Sounds like it was a nasty one.”  
“I’m worried that I won't be able to cut it.” muttered Ian. His eyes were filling with tears.  
“We’re all worried we won't be able to cut it. Anyone who says they're not is bullshitting.” stated Mickey.

The next morning at 4:00 the platoon was ready to be deployed.  
On the plane, Captain Milkovich gave the platoon one of his pep-talks.  
“In case any of you were in doubt, this is the real deal. The next six months will define the rest of your lives. There will be moments on this tour that you will never forget, Both good and bad. It's not about looking after number one, it's about looking after numbers 2 to 12 in your section. That way you will always have 11 people watching your back. That is why the U.S. Army can never lose, it’s what separates us from the enemy. This mission is about hearts and minds. We want to leave this place in a better state than we find it. Stay focused, stay alert, stay alive. Because the day you are less than 100% focused.. Is the day shit happens.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patrol doesn't go that well.....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, thanks guys for sticking with me, I hope you like it!  
> Also trigger warning cause someone gets shot, so there's blood and stuff!

The camp where the platoon settled was not much different from Camp Bastion, it was just smaller.  
The soldiers divided the camp with Afghan troops and a few interpreters.   
Nearby there was a checkpoint on the mountains and a small village that they had to patrol, to make sure the kids went to school and basically that the population could live “normally”, whatever that meant.  
Preparing for his first patrol, Ian was fidgety. Scared but excited. The soldiers walked slowly and steadily in line, the first two carried metal detectors to make sure no one stepped on a mine. Captain Milkovich looked nervous, clutching his binoculars and continuously looking behind his shoulders.  
As they walked, a pair of green eyes caught Ian’s attention. They belonged to a young girl who looked like she was Debbie’s age. Nostalgia struck him as he gently smiled to her and said “hi”, but before he could interact more, Kazeem, the interpreter, gave her a pen and shooed her away.  
Ian wondered why he gave her a bic pen, but he figured that when you have nothing even a pen can be fun to play with.

“Do not fraternize with the locals Ian” Roger warned him.  
“What?” asked Ian, baffled, still missing Debbie a little.  
“They may look sweet and that, when they’re little, but they grow up with one aim, kill us.” he explained, sure.  
“I think she was just being friendly” shrugged the medic.

*****

The first round of patrol went well. They had another one planned for 1:00 pm. In the mean time the whole section went to get some lunch, except Ian.

“Sir..” he said, towards Captain Milkovich who had his back turned on him.  
“You’re not hungry, medic?” asked the man, turning to look at him. He was shorter than him but he knew how to impose.  
“I.. Sir..” he started again.  
“Spit it out, come on, before I die of old age” the Captain rolled his eyes.  
“It’s just.. As a medic.. I’m worried about Smurf, sir. I think, with his brother and all, he’s not in the right frame of mind.”  
“He’s a good soldier. He knows what he’s doing.” the Captain closed the argument, looking stern. His voice and eyes betrayed him though, Ian could see and hear all his guilt and worry, like he was made of glass.  
Mickey clenched his jaw as he walked towards his tent. He would never forgive himself for what happened to Roger’s brother. And he would never let it happen again. Not to one of his soldiers. He promised himself that everyday.

*****

The soldiers were slowly walking again on the street that led to the village. They were only a couple hundred feet away from camp. There was nothing. Just a ditch with sand bags for protection on the side of the road, and then just mountains and sand everywhere. Ian liked the scenery, he found it peaceful.  
Roger interrupted his thoughts. “Can’t see your pen-girl.“, he said.  
“I’ve brought some with, just in case.” Ian answered, showing a few bic pens in his chest pocket.  
“They can't even read or write so God knows why they need pens.” Smurf rolled his eyes.  
“Maybe they want to learn to read and write. I mean, the whole point of us being here is so they can get to school and learn. It's mad how much we take for granted, isn’t it?” the medic asked.  
“You’re not gonna start getting all profound on me are you, Gallagher?” teased Roger. “No matter how cute they are when they're little, they'll still grow up to hate you.”  
Ian rolled his eyes. That’s what he meant when he said he didn’t think Smurf was ok. He held a grudge towards those who killed his brother, and this wasn’t making him think straight. He just wanted blood on his hands.  
“But it doesn't have to be like that. If we're nice to them, then…” Ian started, but the sound of gunshots interrupted him.

The soldiers quickly ducked and hid behind the sand bags, as Captain Milkovich screamed orders in his earpiece. Kazeem was listening to his radio, hoping to intercept enemy conversations.  
“Did anyone see where that came from?” asked the Captain.  
“I don’t see anything!” replied one of the soldiers. 

Ian had never felt so scared in his life. But it was about to get worse.  
“I think they’re in the compound in front of us, I think I can see two suspects, Sir” stated Smurf.  
“Keep your head fucking down Spikey!” screamed the Captain.  
“They say they are targeting the redhead.” said Kazeem, holding the radio.  
Ian froze. All his section was in danger because of him. He was there to help and save, not to get them all killed. Panic started to make him sweat.  
Back at the base, the soldiers who were on the lookout tower made contact. “Single shooter, Sir. In the compound in front of you.”  
“You got eyes on him?” asked the Captain.  
“No, Sir. They’re saying they’re targeting the redhead. The redhead medic, sir.” replied the soldier from base.  
“Fuck.” muttered the Captain to himself. “Alright. One at a time, run, fucking sprint back to base. The others cover, eyes on that fucking compound!” he screamed.  
“Yes sir!” was the answer from the whole section.  
“Move. First man, go!”  
“Moving, Sir!” he answered, as he held his gun to his side and ran back to camp.  
The next three soldiers made it back to camp safe. It was Ian’s turn.  
“You’re next, Gallagher!” the medic heard through his earpiece.  
“I can’t do it, Smurf.” Ian whispered. His legs stuck.  
“Of course you can.” Smurf reassured, eyes fixed on the compound.  
“They’re after me.” Ian said, almost crying.  
“Well, they ain't gonna get you. I'm gonna get them. They see you come out of this ditch, fuckers will appear, at which point I blow their shitty heads off. Now get up and fucking run!” he yelled.  
Ian still couldn’t will his legs to move. “I can't, Smurf. Just leave without me.”  
“What are you fucking waiting for, Gallagher? Go!” the Captain screamed.  
“Just sorting the med kit!” replied Smurf for him, then he quickly turned to him and said “You’ve gotta go, Ian.” and he went back to look at the compound through his rifle. “Now. Ian. Fucking run!” he screamed.   
And like that, Ian found it in himself to just run. He heard shots being fired behind him but he didn’t look back. He just ran and made it to base in one piece.  
Meanwhile, Smurf had reduced the compound to a colander, unloading countless bullets on it, ignoring the Captain's screaming to "keep his fucking head down".

**************  
Dinner was fun, as fun at being at war can be. Everyone was cheering and just basically happy to be alive.  
“Gallagher I’ve never seen you run so fast” joked Smurf.  
“Shut up, I’ll be still running when you are breathing out of your ass” replied Ian, smiling.  
“Still obsessing about my ass, huh?” teased Roger, earning an eye roll from Ian.  
The platoon was interrupted by the Captain.  
“What have we learned, squad? Everytime we step outside of this camp, we need to be totally alert.”  
Everyone nodded.  
“Medic. I need you to take a look at my blisters.” he said.  
Ian smirked and followed him to the tent where he took care of the soldiers. He had him sit on the small bed and take of his shoes.   
Ian had never seen such nasty blisters.  
“So?” asked Mickey, nervous. He didn’t like not being in control of the situation or showing his weakness.  
“Well, sir. They stink. All due respect.” They both laughed at that, but the Captain went back to his seriousness quickly.  
“You were right. About Smurf I mean. He was reckless today, and totally unprofessional. Maybe he isn’t in the right frame of mind.”  
“He’s a good guy, sir. He’s got a lot of stuff he's dealing with.” Ian tried to defend him.  
“You don't deal with it while carrying a lethal weapon.” replied Mickey.  
“He’s all right. He just saved my ass in that ditch.” tried the medic “Now let me dress your blisters and you can get back to running us around the base” he joked.

********

The following morning - with no PT and no patrol - was dull, besides the fact that the soldiers got their mail for the first time.  
Ian split from the group to read his letter alone because he didn’t want to cry in front of everyone. He settled on his bed, alone in his tent, his back facing the door, and relaxed a bit.  
He ran his fingers on the words written in cursive as he read them, recognizing Fiona’s handwriting.  
When he got to the last sentence, _“It’s all a bit shit here without you!”_ and saw the signatures of all his siblings, he realized his cheeks were wet and he was clutching the piece of paper while sobbing.  
He cried for a few minutes and then pulled himself together as he heard someone walking in the tent.  
“Seriously?” the man said.   
Ian recognized Roger’s voice and turned around to face him, but didn’t answer.  
“You went to Milkovich! Behind my back! Dick move, Ian, Jesus Christ!” Smurf ranted. “You think I’m crazy?!”   
“I.. I was just worried..” tried Ian, not really knowing what to say, “But I didn’t tell him you’re crazy.”  
“Yeah right. From now on don’t worry about me. I’m a grown man, I can take care of myself. And for the record, I was the one who saved your ass in that ditch, so don’t go around saying I can’t do my job.” he yelled, then turned to leave the tent, without even waiting for Ian to answer.  
“Fuck you, Smurf!” was all the redhead had to say.  
“You already have.” he replied, smug, as he left.

********  
In the afternoon they went to the check point near the mountains for the first time. Ian barely kept his focus during the walk, he looked around amazed at the view.

They arrived to find an old russian compound where the Afghan Special Forces had settled in, a dried riverbed near it and on the other side of the riverbed a minefield. All around it there were tall, green mountains and blue sky.   
“Finally something that isn’t fucking beige!” smiled Ian, but no one answered. The whole team was pissed at him for going to Milkovich behind Smurf’s back.

When the boys settled and waited for something to happen, the Captain approached Ian and whispered to him “I have to get everyone through this tour. That's my job and nothing else matters. And therefore I'm grateful to you. Despite what they say, you did the right thing to tell me your concerns. And for what it's worth, I think you may be right. I’m a little worried too.”  
Ian nodded. “Yes sir.” he said, noticing the Captain’s look. He had something in those blue eyes, but he couldn’t make out if it was sadness or just worry.  
He had figured out that Mickey wasn’t one who talked a lot, especially about what troubled him, and Ian desperately wanted to be the person he could talk to, so he engaged him again in a conversation, trying to make it last as long as he could.  
“What are they going to do when we pull out completely?” asked the medic.  
“That's not for us to worry about, Gallagher” replied the other man, gazing at the horizon and looking fidgety, like he was talking on auto-pilot but thinking about something completely different.  
He ran his thumb across his lower lip. Ian recognized that gesture. The Captain was worried, but he finished is sentence. “We just do what we’re told. Follow our orders and trust those higher in the chain of command to see the bigger picture.”  
Ian nodded and his attention was caught by the same green-eyed girl he had seen the previous day. He smiled to her, broadly, not really knowing why.  
“Hi. What’s your name?” he asked, handing her a pen.  
The girl looked at him confused, so Ian waved to Kazeem who came quickly and translated for him.  
“What’s she saying?” he asked to the interpreter.  
“She’s saying her name’s Bashira.” he replied.  
“Bashira. That’s a lovely name. I’m Ian” he smiled again, and shook her hand.  
“Eeean” the girl repeated.  
Ian giggled a little and replied “Yeah, that’s right, Ian”.  
The medic had Kazeem ask her how old she was, and he translated an “eleven”.  
“Oh that’s great” said Ian. “Tell her I’ve got a sister around that age. Tell her that she can be my sister while I'm here if she wants.” and smiled again, a little moved.   
He thought about his family’s letter and realized how much he missed them.  
Bashira nodded, listening to the translation and said goodbye, walking towards a group of kids nearby.  
“Kazeem clear those kids away, now.” said Captain Milkovich in the radio.

The interpreter approached the kids and sent them away as the soldiers set up a kitchen, a latrine and a treatment facility in the compound.

“When are you gonna learn?” muttered Smurf, working near Ian.  
“What are you talking about?” asked the medic, confused.

“That kid is spying for the Taliban and reporting back, I’m telling you” said the other soldier, sure.  
“She’s just a kid, Smurf. Chill out.” Ian rolled his eyes.  
“Yeah. A kid who goes back and tells the Taliban exactly where we are.” the man insisted, refusing to drop the argument.

Ian stopped answering and worked in silence for a while, ignoring the other man and not noticing when he left.

Smurf had seen someone on the other side of the river bed and he had decided to follow him without telling anyone, taking advantage of the fact that everyone was busy setting up stuff and no one could pay attention to him.  
He crossed the riverbed carefully, watching every step he took but not losing sight of the suspect. His heart was pounding and his better judgement told him he was being reckless, but the thirst for revenge was too strong. Smurf saw in every afghan man the potential killer of his brother.   
No one realized Roger was gone until the sound of a gunshot cracked the air.

“Man down, man down!” someone screamed in the radio.  
“What happened?” asked the Captain. His voice was full of anger and fear.  
“I don’t know Sir, Smurf saw something and went down the river bed!” a soldier explained.  
“Across the river bed? Has anyone got eyes on?” screamed Mickey, his voice was shaking but he did what he could to still be the guide of the group.  
“200 metres sir, on your left. It’s Smurf, right there beyond that rock.”

Roger was there, he was sitting with his legs sprawled in front of him, while his back was leaning against the rock. He was pressing on his thigh, where he’d been hit.

“It’s a fucking minefield! What’s he doing in a fucking minefield?” screamed the Captain in the radio.  
“I’ve been shot, I’m pumping blood!” replied Smurf, his voice was fading away. He was about to lose conscience.  
Mickey knew he couldn’t fight with him or yell at him right now, so he just postponed all the insults that he was coming up with and instead yelled “He needs a medic!”  
“I’m on it, sir!” screamed Ian, who was already going. “I can get to him, I know my mine clearing drill!”  
“No fucking way!” replied the Captain, afraid to lose Ian too.  
“Sir, he’s losing blood! I can get to him! Just because I’m new I don’t want special treatment. I’m the medic, I will go.” he insisted.  
“Oh fuck me!” screamed the Captain, looking at the sky in despair. “Fine. We’ll cover you. Eyes out, boys, let’s go!” he yelled. “Move! Move! Move!” he said, as the other soldiers took their places and advanced steadily.  
Ian ran quickly to the other bank of the river and when he got to the minefield he laid down and started crawling.  
That piece of land was crawling with old russian mines, probably not lethal but still that could blow off a limb.  
Ian crawled slowly, pushing his knife diagonally in the sand to see if he hit a shell, but he didn’t, so he kept going.

Mickey was about to have a stroke because of how pissed and terrified he was.  
“Has anyone seen the enemy?” he asked.  
“No sir!” the others replied.

“Stay calm Smurf! I’m on my way! Talk to me! Keep talking to me!” Ian screamed in the radio. “Where were you hit?”  
“Top of the leg. High. Groin!” he replied.  
“Can you get a tourniquet around it?” the medic asked.  
“No, it’s too high!” the soldier moaned.  
“Fuck” said Ian and Mickey at the same time.

Ian crawled slowly but he realized Smurf was about to pass out so he tried to rush. “Stay with me Smurf!”

“Smurf I swear to god, don’t you dare die because I wanna fucking kill you myself!” screamed the Captain.  
“Not helping, Sir!” replied Ian, who kept crawling and crawling until Smurf was at an arm’s reach. The boy had passed out. Ian stood up to run to him, but in doing he hit a mine with the heel of his boot.  
The explosion shook the air like a thunder, pushing him a few feet away.  
“Gallagher! Gallagher JESUS CHRIST!” screamed Mickey in the radio, sweating. The veins on his neck were about to explode.  
“I’m fine, Sir!” replied Ian, still a bit dazzled by the explosion “I might have pissed myself but I’m still in one piece” he laughed. Luckily the mines were really old and not that threatening.  
“Oh thank god” murmured the Captain as the other soldiers let out a relieved sigh. “Listen Gallagher, you’re going to need a winch, there's nowhere for the helicopter to land. I repeat, there is nowhere to land.”

“Come on Smurf, talk to me” the medic said, shaking him a bit as he dressed his wound. “Come on, I’ve come to save you!” he screamed “Stay with me, I'm gonna get you out of here. Please, please don't die on me, you asshole.”  
“How is he, Gallagher?” asked Mickey, worried.  
“I need the helicopter, sir, I’m losing him!” Ian said, and he pressed harder on the wound, drawing a groan out of the soldier.  
“Yes! Yes! Keep making noises for me, ok?” he encouraged him.

The helicopter arrived in less than a minute, his whirring made it almost impossible to communicate via radio.  
“Sir they can’t land here, it’s a fucking minefield!” screamed Ian as loud as he could.  
“They’re gonna drop a winch! Secure him to the winch and they'll hoist him up.” the Captain explained.  
“I'm gonna have to go up with him, sir.” Ian said.  
“Absolutely no fucking way. Do you hear me!? If there’s a sniper you’ll be dead in the blink of an eye, NO WAY!” he screamed.  
“I can’t put a tourniquet on him, if I take my hand away he’ll bleed out!” the Medic clenched on the rock as the winch came down, it was like standing in the middle of a tornado.  
“Gallagher do not go up on that winch, that is an order!” said the Captain.

Ian didn’t answer. He’d heard him, alright. But he wasn’t gonna let Smurf die and he didn’t want to disobey a direct order so he secured the injured soldier to the winch saying “Don’t you fucking die Smurf!” and then secured himself to it. He was afraid, as they were being lifted up inside the helicopter, and he knew he’d never hear the end of it back at camp, but he also knew he made the right choice.

“Gallagher do you copy? Gallagher do you hear me?” the Captain was losing it.  
“I doubt he can hear a thing under that helicopter, Sir” said another soldier.  
“Gallagher for fuck’s sake!” the Captain tried again, his heart jumping out of his chest as he watched them dangling in the air, almost on the helicopter.  
When they boarded it, the whole team let out a sigh of relief and a loud cheer.  
Mickey was relieved for a couple of seconds but he went back to being pissed straightaway.  
“What he just did there was stupid beyond belief! He disobeyed a direct order and put his life in danger.” he commented.  
“It was also fucking awesome!” replied one of the soldiers, laughing.

 

**********  
Smurf opened his eyes in a hospital bed, feeling confused, when a voice he recognized talked to him.  
“Told you, you’d live.” smirked Ian holding his chart.  
Roger smiled back.  
“What the fuck were you doing in the middle of a minefield?” he asked.  
“I saw someone... I thought they were planting an IED.. Thought the path was clear but at the other end there was an insurgent pointing a rifle at my head..” he said.  
“You’re lucky he was a crap shot then” Ian laughed.  
“I’m sorry Ian..” started Smurf, but a doctor interrupted them.   
“Gallagher got transport to take you back to camp, quick!” she said.  
“I promise I’m gonna get better and I’m gonna make it up to you, because I owe you everything. I’m gonna come back to you.. I mean, to the platoon.” Smurf said, as Ian prepared to leave.  
“Yeah. You better.” smiled the medic as he walked out.

***********  
Ian entered the camp looking like a beaten dog.  
“Gallagher!” the Captain screamed. He was still visibly shaken.  
“Here it goes” thought Ian as he straightened up and faced his officer. “Yes sir” he said.  
“If you think you're going to win a fucking medal for that ridiculous and extremely imbecile act, then you’re fucking mistaken.” he started. The vein in his neck pulsating like it was about to explode.  
“Yes sir. Sorry sir.” Ian muttered.  
“That's what my commanding officer said to me when I went to retrieve Smurf's brother.” the Captain said, biting the inside of his cheek. “Having said that, did you hear me tell you not to go up on that winch?” he asked, looking at him trying - and succeeding - to intimidate him.  
“No sir.” Ian lied, biting his lower lip.  
“Then well done, Gallagher. You’re an excellent medic. You’re proving yourself. You’re a fundamental asset to this team.” Mickey complimented him, placing a hand on his shoulder. They locked eyes for a few seconds, it was so intense Ian had to look away. It felt like Mickey was pouring energy inside of him. All his anger, all his fear passed right through his gaze. Ian stiffened a bit.  
“Sir, I know Smurf and I have a past but it’s not like that I promise..” he muttered.  
“I know” Mickey nodded and reassured him.  
“I mean I might even regret sleeping with him..” Ian continued.  
“We all regret sleeping with someone, Gallagher. It’s 2015 not 1915” smiled Mickey, intrigued by the idea of Ian in the sack. Precisely in his sack. “Come on now, go celebrate. Your team’s waiting” he waved towards a tent where resonated the sound of the platoon chanting and cheering for Ian.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian shouldn't get involved with the lives of the locals, but of course he does. And of course Mickey's always right behind him to watch over him and scold him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, I've been really busy. I hope you like it!

It was morning again at the camp. Put aside the fear for Smurf’s life, the whole microcosmos of soldiers went back to normal, and that meant patrol.  
They headed to the market that day, still supervising the children who went to school and the locals who tried to live their lives as if they weren’t at war.  
The platoon walked in line, slowly and steadily, looking around to make sure there were no threats to their lives or to the civilians’.  
Suddenly some green eyes caught Ian’s attention. Bashira was running freely and laughing around the market when she dropped the colorful scarf that covered her hair.  
Ian, against his better judgement, broke the line to pick up the scarf and give it back.

“Here, you dropped this” the medic squatted on his knees to be at Bashira’s eye-level and smiled to the little girl who smiled back.  
“Thanks” she replied, shy, as she took her scarf and put it back on her head.  
“It’s what we’re here for, little sis’” shrugged Ian.  
“Sister!” she replied, giggling. She remembered their previous conversation. Nostalgia struck Ian hard, again.  
“Yeah, that’s right, sisters” he said in a soft voice as he caressed her head and stood up.  
“You better get to school, you’re gonna be late. I was always late” he admitted with a shy smile.  
“My father say no school” she shrugged with a sad look.  
“Why would he say that?” asked the soldier, worried, as a frown took the place of the smile he had before.   
“Because I’m promised.. To a man” the little girl started explaining.  
“What do you mean to a man?” asked Ian, half curious, half shocked.  
“To be married. I must leave soon” she replied. She was looking down, like she was about to cry.  
But before he could answer, the noise of gunshots brought Ian back to reality. He heard someone scream “Get down! Get down!” and then “Gallagher for fuck’s sake!”, as a hand grabbed him from his backpack and dragged him back in line.  
Ian recognized the Captain’s temper.  
“Sir..” he tried.  
“Do you realize how much danger you put yourself in?” Mickey scolded him. “Did what happen with Smurf not teach you anything? Are you that fucking dumb?” he yelled.  
“She’d dropped her scarf Sir, I thought..” Ian tried to explain himself.  
“Oh, so you thought ‘fuck it, why don’t I risk my life over a fucking scarf’ am I right?” he was furious.  
“Sorry Sir, it’s just that we’ve become friends..” Ian worsened the situation.  
“You-do-not-involve-yourself-in-the-life-of-the-locals” the Captain repeated for the millionth time, extending every word. “How many times do I have to fucking tell you they must not become dependent on us in any way, shape or form?” he spat.  
“I’m sorry Sir. You won’t need to repeat yourself again.”  
“I fucking hope so” said Mickey, as he turned his back on the redhead and regained his place in the head of the line. “Stop trying to get yourself killed, Gallagher!” he said, as he walked away.  
Ian looked down to his shoes and went back to his place, sad and defeated.  
The platoon moved towards the source of the gunshots, which was the local school, not far from the market.  
“I don’t understand, why the school?” asked Ian worried.  
“The teacher says two Taliban came in, fired at the walls and went.” replied Kazeem, translating.  
“Was anybody hurt?” asked Mickey, worried, nodding towards Ian as to say “get ready”, since he was the medic.  
“No” replied Kazeem. “The elder was in his office, he came but they didn't harm him. He thinks the presence of the soldiers has only made things worse. He says this is just the first.” the interpreter continued, there was fear in his voice.

**************

The morale was low, but a pleasant surprise was waiting for the platoon back at camp. Smurf was back, good as new, with his dumb smile on his dumb face and just a slight limp on his injured leg.  
“Anyone want to see my bullet hole?” he joked, proud. “Ian, wanna cop a feel?”  
No one noticed but Mickey stiffened hearing that, surprising himself mostly. He was trying to fight the crush he was developing for that silly scrawny medic but it was getting stronger with every idiot thing he did to endanger his life.  
“It’s a shame he didn't shoot you in the head, put us all out of our misery.” Ian teased, but the smile he was showing betrayed him. He was relieved, possibly even happy that Smurf was fine.  
Mickey interrupted the scene muttering a simple “Glad to have you back, private. A word?”  
“I won’t let you down again” said Smurf, apologetic, looking down in shame as they distanced from the group of soldiers.  
“Correct. You won’t.” replied the Captain, still furious with him. “You were lucky it was just a flesh wound, but with that blood loss, if it wasn’t for our medic you would have died.”   
Smurf didn’t dare look at him in the eye. “I know, Sir.”  
“And more importantly” Mickey continued “He risked his life to save yours.” he said, as he glanced towards Ian, who was staring at them from afar. When the two locked eyes, the medic turned around, pretending he wasn’t.  
“I made a mistake Sir” Smurf said.  
“We all do. It’s what we do to rectify them that separates the shit from the clay.” the Captain stated, and walked away.

*******  
The soldiers had a little free time after lunch, so as they were all killing time, Smurf said “You know, the doctor back at Bastion said the medic has to rub baby oil into my bullet hole every hour or I'll die.” he smirked, nodding at his groin.  
“Looks like you're going to die then.” shrugged Ian and the whole platoon laughed.  
Ian walked away, pensive, as Smurf trotted behind him.  
“You know I’m there for you, right?” asked Roger, shy.  
“You better, I saved your life!” giggled the medic.  
“I’m serious. Like, if you need me..” continued the other soldier.  
“Yeah, you’re there, I get it.” replied Ian, but he wasn’t paying attention anymore. His eyes were stuck on Mickey’s sweaty torso. The Captain was working out under a gazebo that had weights and a treadmill, and Ian found himself licking his lips as he stared at the older man, his pants suddenly too tight. He adjusted them, trying to find some relief, but he just couldn’t stop watching Mickey.  
Smurf noticed and saddened, he didn't even make a snarky remark on Ian's bright as day crush, he just left the medic to his thoughts and walked away, his chest aching slightly in jealousy.

**********  
A few hours later, Ian realized something was off in the way one of the Afghani soldiers looked at him.  
He elbowed the Captain who was standing near him, and nodded to the soldier.  
“Am I paranoid or is he death-glaring me?” he asked.  
Mickey laughed softly. “You’re not paranoid. He’s definitely death glaring us.” he confirmed.  
“Is it because I’m gay?” said the medic, worried.  
“Maybe it’s because I am” shrugged Mickey. “Let’s find out.” he suggested, as he started walking towards the soldier.  
Ian’s jaw dropped as he tried to keep the Captain’s pace and not freak out. He was gay. They both were. Ian couldn’t believe it.

The soldier, whose name was Sohail, rolled his eyes as he saw the two soldiers come closer.  
“So, you’re making chai?” asked Mickey, with an attitude, entering his tent without waiting for him. Sohail followed him inside, Ian right behind him.  
“You want chai?” asked the Afghani soldier.   
He was tall, sweaty and had a long beard, but he was also young. Ian stared at the scar that covered the left part of his forehead, it looked like a bolt of lightening, separating his left eyebrow in two distinct parts.   
“If you’re offering” shrugged the Captain. “So, you know anything about what happened at the school this morning?” Taliban walking in and firing bullets into the walls?” he inquired.  
“Why should I know?” asked the soldier, defensive.  
“You got chai for our medic?” said Mickey, lifting one brow.  
“The homosexual?” asked Sohail, scandalized, like Mickey had suddenly grown another head.  
“Well, we let them drink tea where we come from. I know, crazy, right?” the office sassed him.   
Sohail reluctantly placed a cup of chai on the table, instead of handing it to Ian. The medic grabbed it, feeling hurt and angry about the discrimination. Clearly they didn’t know about Mickey, and Ian realized why. The afghani troops didn’t like them as it was, why make it even more complicated?  
“So about the school..” started the Captain again.  
The scarred man rolled his eyes.  
“You got a problem with us being here soldier?” asked Mickey, stressing the word “soldier”. Sohail glared at Ian.  
“It’s why we’re here. So the children can go to school.” the medic interrupted.  
“They used to go to school before you arrive.” replied the soldier  
“The boys did, yeah.” said Ian, sarcastic.  
“And now no-one will.” finished Sohail, stern. “So what have you achieved? You go away soon, and everything goes back to normal.”  
“What does that even mean? Like, what counts as normal around here?” asked Mickey.  
“Your normal isn’t our normal.” stated the soldier, again looking at Ian.  
His words went through the medic like a blade, as the two americans left the soldier’s tent to go back to their side of the camp. Ian's fists were clenched in anger. Mickey placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed lightly, muttering "let it go, Gallagher.".

“Look, sir. About that thing you said.. That you are.. Like me..” Ian started.  
Mickey looked at him “What about it?”  
“I’ll keep it to myself, if that’s what you want, sir.” the redhead assured.  
“I’d appreciate that, private.” said the Captain, as he kept walking.  
Forwarding his agenda of making-Mickey-talk, Ian started another conversation.  
“I don’t understand. We’re supposed to be on the same side. Us and the Afghani I mean..” complained the medic, “but sometimes it doesn’t feel like we are.”  
“Agreed.” said Mickey, laconic.  
“Like.. What he said.. Bashira doesn’t stand a chance..” Ian muttered.  
“Repeat after me, private. DO-NOT-GET-IN-FUCKIN’-VOLVED” the Captain warned him. “Because I need you by my side.”   
“I am Sir!” the medic assured.  
“You can’t be, if you’re worrying about one single child.”   
“I am Sir. 100% by your side.” Ian repeated.  
“Good.” said the Captain, and he entered his tent without saying another word.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So hey, sorry for the delay! I hope you're still with me, because soon shit's gonna go down! (excuse my french).  
> Anyway this is a slow burn so you know it's gonna take a while but it's definitely gonna happen, just stay tuned ;)

The briefing tent was hot, just like the rest of the camp, the whole platoon was in it and Ian found it harder and harder to breathe.  
He was idly listening to the Captain’s instructions while fiddling with his pen.  
“Heavily armed insurgents are controlling the area around the mountains and the village. The ANA will remain at the checkpoint here, and we will maintain a presence in the village itself so that the kids can return back to school. They are planning more attacks imminently. So be vigilant, guys. The buildings opposite the school are empty. To the rear of the school is a compound which we will also control. We need the children to go back to school or the entire mission here has been a waste of time. We leave in two hours. Be ready.” explained Mickey, and then dismissed the squad.

********  
As soon as they got to the village compound, the soldiers immediately secured the outside and Ian established a med-center with Kazeem’s help.  
The redhead looked pensive, like something was troubling him.  
“Penny for your thoughts” said the interpreter.  
“What?” asked the medic, as he organized his supplies.  
“Penny for your thoughts, isn’t what you say when you wanna know what someone is thinking?” asked the Afghani man, a little embarrassed.  
“Oh. Yes, yes, that’s how we say.. Well, it’s Bashira.. How can she be promised?” Ian asked.  
“Welcome to my country” shrugged the interpreter, and after a few moments of silence he added “I used to be a teacher. Taught english literature at the University of Kabul. The Taliban killed my wife and daughter, so I figured, what’s the worst that could happen to me now? I thought I could do more good here.”  
“Do you think there can be a peaceful Afghanistan?” asked Ian, sincerely.  
“I hope so. One day. That’s all I really want. I don’t know when, but one day it will be, and it will be the most beautiful place to live. That day is nearer everyday.”   
Hearing those words made Ian’s heart fill with hope, but the conversation was interrupted by a woman speaking fast in a language the medic didn’t understand. Kazeem came to help.  
“She’s saying her daughter needs treatment.” he translated.

Ian looked at the little girl. It was Bashira. Her left eyebrow was split open and blood was running on her face, but the Captain wasn’t letting her and her mother in the med-center.  
“Tell her to take her to a local hospital.” ordered Mickey.  
“She says she is looking to you as medic to help. The local hospital is four hours away, and she has no transport.” Kazeem said, talking to Ian.  
“She’s saying it's my fault, isn't she?” asked the medic, biting his lip.  
“Yes, she is, but it's not.” the interpreted reassured him. “A father hitting his child is wrong. As wrong in Afghanistan as it is where you come from.”  
“She has to go to her own hospital. Those are the rules.” The Captain tried to settle the argument.  
“Yes, sir. Can I at least examine the eye to assess the damage?” asked Ian, ready to intervene.  
Mickey rolled his eyes at him.  
“Sir, we have a responsibility.” urged the medic.”Please, sir. It is my fault, if it was because I was talking to her.”  
Mickey bit his bottom lip and cursed silently. “Well, get the eye cleaned up and then I never want to see her again.”  
“Thank you, sir.” said Ian, then he took Bashira’s hand and led her inside the facility, where he sat her down and started cleaning the wound.

“I think you might gonna need a stitch in that, Bashira.” muttered the medic. “Do you understand?” he asked slowly.  
“Of course she doesn't understand, I barely understood.” said Mickey annoyed. He was leaning on the wall, watching Ian work.  
“I thought your English was better than hers, sir.” teased the medic.  
“Mine is.” shrugged the Captain. “But yours… "Might gonna need a stitch”? What's that even supposed to mean?” he mocked.  
“That she might gonna need a stitch!” smiled Ian, looking at the older man. He licked his lips as he watched him and he imagined standing up and kissing him hard, pushing him against the wall as he ruffled his hair and bit his lips and played with his tongue.  
He shook away those thoughts and tried to be professional.

“I’ll try putting butterfly stitches in it to hold it together.” the medic explained.  
“She has come looking to you instead of her local hospital. It's wrong.” Mickey stated, running his thumb against his bottom lip, like he always did when he didn’t like something.  
Ian was pleased that the man was talking, he only wished it wasn’t just to scold him.  
“Sir, we have a duty of care for loss of life, limb or eye.” said the medic, matter-of-factly.  
“Are you telling me the rules of the U.S. Army now, private?” asked Mickey, amused.  
“No, sir.” replied Ian quickly.  
It's my fourth tour, Gallagher, and where it goes wrong is where soft fools start to get personally involved.” he warned.  
“I’m not soft, sir. Or a fool.” he replied, dry.  
“We’ll see. Clean her up and send her to her own doctor, this is an order.” he said, as he left the room.  
Ian nodded and turned back to the girl.  
“Who did this to you, Bashira? Was it your dad?” he asked softly, as he tried to dress the wound without hurting the girl.  
“He say I love America.” she said with tears in her eyes. Ian appreciated how stoic the girl was. He disinfected the cut and she didn’t even flinch. At least half of the grown men in his platoon would have screamed but she didn’t.  
“I will do all that I can to make sure this never happens again. I promise. That’s what we’re here for.”   
“Hurry up Gallagher!” screamed the Captain from outside.  
“Coming, Sir!” screamed Ian back as he grabbed the little girl’s hand and led her outside.  
He was instructing her to see a doctor and get stitches, when she blurted out “Do not go to the mountains!”  
Ian squatted on his legs to be at her eye-level.  
“Why? What about the mountains?” he asked, confused.  
“You must not go to the mountains tomorrow.” she repeated.  
“Are you saying that something bad is going to happen at the mountains?” the medic replied, but before she could answer Kazeem had grabbed her and given her back to her mother.  
“Gently!” complained Ian.

*****************  
“Smurf, a word?” asked the medic, nodding towards his tent.  
“Yeah sure” replied the other soldier, following him.  
Ian looked around before entering the tent and turning to Roger. His voice was shaky, he evidently was trying to explain something and he didn’t know how.  
“What’s wrong man?” asked Smurf, slightly worried. That wasn’t a normal behavior for the redhead.  
“It’s.. Bashira..” Ian started, as the other man rolled his eyes. “Wait. Let me finish. She said something today. Like she wanted to warn me about something..” he continued.  
“About what?” asked Smurf.  
“She said not to go to the mountains tomorrow.” answered the redhead. “I think something’s gonna happen at the checkpoint, Smurf”. Ian bit his lip, worried and insecure.  
“If you have intelligence you have to report it to Milkovich, straightaway.” stated the soldier. “There’s soldiers at that checkpoint, if we don’t say anything we risk their lives. Come on, let’s go.” Smurf grabbed Ians harm firmly but gently, in a gesture that meant “you can trust me, I’m here for you.”  
The two men locked eyes for a moment and the soldier nodded to the medic. “Come on.” he repeated.

“Sir?” Ian approached Mickey tentatively.  
“What?” asked the Captain, rude as always, without even lifting his head from the map he was looking.  
“I need to tell you something..” murmured the medic.  
“Come again Gallagher?” replied Mickey.  
“Sir.. I think I’ve received intel about an attack on the mountain CP tomorrow.” Ian blurted out.  
Mickey raised his head now, the medic had his full attention. His eyes were wide open and fear crawled on his face.  
“Ops tent. Now. Both of you!” he barked.

*******  
Two more officers stood besides Captain Milkovich as Ian repeated the whole story, stressing on the details. They were clearly evaluating the threat and the strategy to follow.  
“What makes you think it's credible, private?” asked the Sergeant.  
“I’ve got a good relationship with the kid, Sir.” Ian replied.  
“Oh, you’ve got to be fucking kiddin’ me Gallagher” Mickey muttered to himself as he rolled his eyes.  
“I’m pretty sure her dad’s Taliban, Sir.” Ian continued, ignoring his Captain.  
“That kid really trusts him, Sir.” intervened Smurf, and Mickey glared at him.  
After a moment, the other officer, who had been silent the whole time, stated: “You've obviously got close enough so she can confide in you. And if that confidence leads to us being able to halt this little group of insurgents, then it could work out.”  
“Agreed.” nodded the Sergeant.  
Mickey looked up, resigned and pissed. “You two, wait outside.” he commanded.  
Ian and Roger stood up and left the tent at once.

“Thanks for having my back in there” nodded the redhead.  
“Of course” smiled Smurf.

***********  
Later that day, the whole platoon was being briefed by Captain Milkovich on the mission that would take place the next day.  
“Right, listen up. We will go to the CP to support Captain Azizi and the Afghan Special Forces that are flying in, Special Forces arriving at 11:00 tomorrow morning. At 01.30 we get there, we dig in straight away. Remember, stay focused, stay alert, stay alive.” he repeated his mantra before dismissing the platoon.  
"Gallagher. Wait." Milkovich said.  
"Yes sir?" asked the medic.  
The dark haired man placed a hand on the younger boy's shoulder and squeezed gently. "I'm so fucking pissed, but I have to say this. You did the right thing, Gallagher.. Ian." he said slowly, looking at him in the eye. "If this works out, you'll have saved a few lives." he continued.  
"It's what I'm here for, right?" said the medic, shy. Being so close to the Captain was making him blush and he was uncomfortable because he didn't want the older man to know about his crush.   
"Yeah. And that's why I haven't murdered you yet" smiled the Captain. "But, God help me, if you don't stop getting fucking involved I will shoot you myself." stated the Officer, half serious.  
Ian smiled, catching his bluff.   
"Sir.." Ian started as he straightened up a little, towering on the shorter man and walking closer to him until the Captain's ass was against the table. He placed both his hands on Mickey's shoulders. Bold move. Reckless. "I think you're the one getting involved." suggested the redhead. "You don't have to worry that much about me, you know? I'm a big boy. I can take care of myself." he smirked.  
Mickey bit his lips and rolled his eyes, trying to conceal what he was feeling. Ian's touch was electrical. His uniform suddenly too tight, constricting him in his crotch area. "Keep your pants on, Gallagher. I care about you all in the same way. Strictly professional." he said, as he took Ian's hands off his shoulders, but the medic was faster than him.  
"Really?" he whispered in his ear. Ian's hands caged the Captain against the table. His lips wet and warm ghosted against his jaw so close to Mickey's skin that the shorter man shuddered as he placed his hands on Ian's hips.  
Mickey looked at him through his lashes, he licked his lips at the sight of Ian's dilated pupils. Damn, that boy made him want to break every rule he had and kiss him right there, but he didn't.  
"Really." he said, as he pushed the medic away and left the tent without another word, leaving Ian there.   
The redhead now was aware that he wasn't alone in his crush. He heard Mickey's tone of voice and he saw the way he looked at him.   
You can't fake that.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian's intel is verified.  
> (I suck at summaries)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all. You know how I said this was gonna follow the tv show? Well, I sorta lied. I mean, next chapter is gonna be all me because the build up to this love story is getting so frustrating it physically hurts to read/write, so I decided to jumpstart it a little earlier and throw some angst in, here and there. Yeah, I know.  
> So bear with me and soon you'll see some action! ;)
> 
> I hope you like it and, as usual, feedback is welcome.

The morning after, the whole platoon was standing in line in front of the gate of the camp, ready to walk to the checkpoint.  
They all had been warned an attack was likely, and most of the boys were fidgety and nervous, albeit trying to hide it as best as they could.  
Ian kept clenching his jaw, thinking that the mission was all because of him and his friendship with Bashira, and thus, if anything happened, it was on him.  
Mickey went to take his place in front of the line and the two exchanged a quick look. The Captain had already told him it wasn’t his fault, or at least it wouldn’t be his fault, but Ian couldn’t take that thought off his head. He didn’t want anyone to die because he got involved.

The squad arrived at the checkpoint and the soldiers scrambled to get to work setting up sand sacks etcetera. Ian made sure everyone stayed hydrated and took some time to chat with the Afghani soldiers who were on patrol with them.

Mickey and Smurf were discussing the mission as the latter kept his eyes fixed on a compound nearby, through his sniper rifle. Mickey talked to him and the boy replied but he never looked away from the concrete building.  
“They think there was someone in that compound yesterday.” explained Smurf.  
“Do they think they're still there?” asked one of the soldiers, concerned.  
“Not sure.” replied Mickey, and then gave the order: he called four men and commanded “I want locks down that compound now. Helmets at all times, gentlemen. Slow and steady.”  
“Sir.” they answered all at once, giving a quick nod. They walked cautiously to the building as Smurf covered them from the checkpoint.

Meanwhile, Ian was having chai with the afghani soldiers who apparently didn’t know or didn’t care about his sexual orientation.  
“How old are you?” asked the medic to one of the young men in uniform.  
“Eighteen” stated the other.  
Ian didn’t even have the time to frown because Mickey interrupted them and called for him.

“Geez, talk about easy targets” muttered the medic.  
“Said the old man” laughed Mickey.  
“Yeah I know, we’re the same age but it’s different.. I mean I’m not a real soldier, I’m a medic” shrugged Ian.  
“But you’re at war. Same as them. Maybe you’re better trained and armed but you still chose to serve your country at a young age. Also, with that hair, you’re the easiest target here” the Captain laughed. “If you remove your helmet they can spot you from miles away.”  
Ian laughed too, and he felt warm because Mickey was finally loosening up and talking to him, but Mickey was clearly the most worried of the squad. All the men were his responsibility and he couldn’t afford to lose anyone.  
“I damn hope your intel is right” he said, biting his lower lip and looking around.  
“Sir, if I am right, I'm a bit worried about the girl. Maybe we've compromised her.” started Ian.  
“We’ll worry about that later. Cross that bridge when we get there and shit.” replied the Captain in a steady tone of voice, still looking around like he sensed something.  
“Yes, sir.” agreed the medic.  
The two soldiers approached Smurf who was still looking out for the others.  
“How are we feeling today Smurf?” asked Mickey, stern.  
“No heroics for me, Sir.” the soldier replied, still and calm, but Ian noticed that his finger was on the trigger, ready.  
“Good.” the Captain replied. “Keep your helmet on and your head down.” he said, and then turned away, still looking around.

Ian plopped down and sat next to Smurf, easing his back against the sand sacks that protected the soldiers, intending to keep him company.  
“She's been surrounded by soldiers her whole life. Imagine that. Ain't normal, is it, uh?” asked the medic, trying to make small talk.  
Smurf let out an interrogative sound and Mickey turned his head to glare at Ian.  
“Bashira, I mean” continued Ian as the Captain rolled his eyes at the mention of the little girl.  
“Yeah, well, we’ll be gone soon” replied Smurf, distant.  
“It's a shame we can't take kids like her home with us.” shrugged the redhead.  
“Sir can you make him shut up?” giggled Smurf “Or should I put him down?”  
Mickey laughed. “Please don’t shoot our medic, not yet, we still need him.” he replied  
“Do we really?” Smurf insisted, still grinning.  
“Yeah you do, especially if you do stupid stuff like you did the other day” pointed out Ian.  
“Fair enough”, shrugged the sniper.  
“It’s just.. sometimes it all seems a bit... unfair.” insisted Ian.  
“It’s luck.” replied Mickey, dry.  
“What?” asked Smurf.  
“Everything.” said the Captain. “ The whole world and everything in it. It's luck.”  
“My brother wasn't so lucky.” replied the sniper, biting his lip.  
“No, but you were.” answered Mickey.  
“So you think it's all just luck…?” asked Ian, curious.  
“Luck. Fluke. Chance. Whatever you wanna call it. Where you're born, who you're born to, rich, poor…” explained the Captain.  
“Bashira wasn't born into much luck, was she? A dad that beats the crap out of her and all…” Ian insisted again.

Mickey rolled his eyes for the tenth time and bit his lip hard. He really wanted to let it all out, how his dad beat him stupid every time he drank or that he’d almost killed him himself when he found out he liked men. He wanted to vent, grab Ian from his shoulders and yell at him to stop being so blind, that tragedy was everywhere and that he needed to stop getting fucking involved. But he didn’t.  
“Gallagher?” he said instead.  
“Yeah?” answered the medic.  
“Shut the fuck up.” he commanded.  
“Sorry, Sir.” Ian replied, as Smurf grinned again.

“Sir, I see something in the bunker.” interrupted a voice from the walkie talkie that all the platoon had on their left shoulder.  
It was one of the four soldiers who had gone to secure the building.  
“How many Johnson?” asked Mickey concerned.  
“Definitely a couple. Maybe more.” was the answer.  
“Everybody stay low and out of sight. Back down, I repeat, back down.” the Captain ordered, and scrambled to get to the end of the checkpoint to speak to the soldier who was in charge of the radio communication.  
“Roger that sir, backing down now” replied the soldier.  
The four men slowly and carefully started walking backwards to the checkpoint.  
“Dangles, get me Zero on the radio NOW.” he yelled.  
“You got it sir” answered the blond man, quickly passing him the speaker.  
“Zero, this is Amber 3-0 Bravo, sighting at least two possible insurgents.” the Captain stated loud and clear, but the sound of shots being fired had him duck quickly and scream “DOWN! EVERYBODY DOWN!” before adding “Zero, this is Amber 3-0 Bravo. Contact explosion. I repeat, contact explosion!” to the radio.

“Incoming from the compound!” screamed Smurf, keeping an eye on the building. Ian was pointing too but he knew he was a shit shot and really hoped it wouldn’t come down to a gunfight.  
“Contact! Contact! Wait out, hold your fire! Johnson back down immediately! Back the fuck down now!” commanded the Captain.  
"Backing down, sir!" replied Johnson as he led the three man with him quickly towards the checkpoint.  
“What’s happening Sir?” asked Ian.  
“Keep your eyes on that compound” replied Mickey, smirking.  
A few seconds later the noise of a plane surprised the soldier and the bunker was reduced to a wrecked inferno, leading to a loud cheer from the soldiers.

When the fire was quelled a squad of four men went to check the debris and confirmed via radio six enemy casualties and one wounded.  
Ian rushed there to take care of the injured as the others cleared the surroundings. The man’s arm was pissing blood and his conscience was fading but Ian managed to put a tourniquet on it and dress it before the helicopter took him to a hospital.

On the way back everyone was relieved to say the least. Some sang, some cheered, and Mickey felt bold enough to walk with Ian instead of leading the way as usual. It was really a big win for them.  
“Your work has been above and beyond, Gallagher.” the Captain complimented him, as he patted on his back.  
Ian noticed that the other man’s hand lingered on his shoulder and squeezed a little. The medic relished in the feeling of human contact, slightly closing his eyes and savoring it. He bit his lip wanting more. He wanted to hug the smaller man and envelop him in his arms, he wished he could kiss him and cuddle him and just be with him.  
“What the intel, or saving that guy?” asked Ian, pushing his thoughts to the back of his mind.  
“Both.” shrugged the Captain.  
“Just doing my job, Sir.” shrugged the redhead, modest.  
The two men didn’t notice, but Smurf was looking at them, and boy, if glares could kill.  
The sniper felt a dull ache in his chest, and realized he was jealous. He had started to grow fond of Ian in the last few weeks, maybe he was just feeling homesick, but he just couldn’t stop liking the medic more and more.

“Yeah, well, it takes a fair amount to impress me.” insisted the Captain, and for someone who loathed themselves so much, he insisted a great deal on forcing Ian to accept his compliment.  
“Thank you, sir.” Ian surrendered and gave him a smile.  
Mickey blushed slightly as he looked in Ian’s beautiful, green eyes and stopped squeezing his shoulder awkwardly. He had to keep it together. He was the Captain, he couldn’t get involved. And he couldn’t let his feelings cloud his judgement when all those men relied on him. He was responsible for them, he had to be.  
“They can go back to school now, yeah?” asked Ian.  
Mickey nodded, convinced.  
“Let’s hope Bashira can, too.” murmured Ian, only to get another death glare from the Captain and a “for fuck’s sake, Gallagher!”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is just smut. Like literally 99% porn. I hope it's your thing ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So as I said, this chapter isn't in the original story, I just felt that you deserved some porn for bearing with me and reading >14k words of build up.  
> I hope you appreciate it, let me know with comments and stuff!  
> P.S. next chapter won't come until after the weekend because I'm SO busy at work it's a miracle I managed to finish this, but it'll be here at the beginning of the week, don't worry.  
> I have everything mapped out and I know where I'm going.

The squad still celebrated back at camp, and as they all walked towards the tent where they’d have lunch together, Mickey tapped on Ian’s shoulder.  
“Not so fast, Gallagher.” he said. “I need medical assistance and I strongly suspect you’ll wanna do it on an empty stomach.”  
Ian understood straightaway and rolled his eyes. “Jesus, not the blisters again” he mouthed, making the Captain laugh.

The two men entered the dark green tent and Mickey kicked off his boots before sitting on the small bed and dangling his feet.  
“I’ve never seen something so gross” grimaced Ian as he examined the other man’s skin.  
Mickey giggled.  
“Don’t be proud!” exclaimed Ian, smiling, as he went to grab some disinfectant.  
“Okay, this is gonna sting a little” started the medic, squatting to approach the other man’s feet. “You can hold my hand if you want.” he defied, smug.  
Mickey smirked. “I’m not a kid, Gallagher. I’m the Captain. I’m on my fourth tour… Holy fuck!” he screamed, as he quickly moved his foot away from the redhead, who was smirking.  
The medic stood up and placed both hands on Mickey’s thighs. The man suddenly stiffened a little, as Ian slowly approached his left ear and whispered “Come on now, be good. I’ll give you a lollipop when we finish.” and giggled a little, looking him in the eye as he went back to dress his left foot.

His breath was warm against Mickey skin, making the older man shiver and blush as he felt it. He bit his lower lip trying to repress the lust that was growing in him.  
“What are you, thirteen?” smirked the Captain, catching Ian’s lollipop-innuendo.  
Ian laughed and said “Sorry, I just can’t help it”.  
He licked his lips and slowly approached Mickey again until their noses brushed.  
“Kiss me and I’ll cut your fucking tongue out.” the man warned, abruptly. “You know we can’t.”  
Ian huffed, frustrated and started to complain “But..”  
“No buts.” Mickey cut him off. “This is not a cruise for the lonely hearts. I can’t let feelings drive me when I’m responsible for all those lives!” he insisted.  
Ian smiled wickedly.  
“Who said anything about feelings?” he replied, smug, and placed his lips on the crook of Mickey’s neck, kissing and slowly licking him.  
Ian was lying, obviously, but he hoped that one day Mickey could grow as fond as he was of him. Little did he know the Captain was already head over heels, and just repressing it.  
“Gallagher..” Mickey started, but his words got trapped in his throat as he tried to keep it together. Ian decided to take it up a notch as he slowly caressed his inner thigh and rubbed his hand on the Captain’s slacks, being able to feel his erection despite the thick layers of clothing.  
Mickey tried really hard to be rational about the whole thing, but he wanted Ian so much it physically hurt.  
He bit his lip again, unable to fight the desire and slammed his head back, moaning slightly.

Suddenly, Ian stopped and took a step back. Mickey looked like a kid whose favorite toy had been taken away.  
He frowned, confused.  
“Don’t say you don’t want me, ‘cause I know you do.” the medic said.  
“Never said I didn’t. I said we shouldn’t.” replied the Captain, taking deep breaths and trying to pull himself together.  
Ian smiled and went back to disinfecting and dressing Mickey’s blisters on his other foot. The Captain resisted stoically to the disinfectant, wanting to just get it over with.  
“Man, that’s something I’ll think about when I need to kill an inappropriate boner!” giggled Ian nodding towards Mickey’s feet.  
“Does that happen often?” smirked the Captain.  
“Oh you have no idea..” replied the medic as he finished.  
“You see, there’s this guy I work with..” he started, his fingers ghosting over Mickey’s legs. “He is _so_ hot.. I mean, damn, I can’t think about anything else..” he continued as he wrapped his arms lowly around Mickey and grabbed his ass with both his hands, pulling him closer against himself. “Like.. He has those blue eyes and he’s always grumpy.. And he likes to work out shirtless..” his voice got lower as his lips approached Mickey’s earlobe and nipped it gently.

The Captain finally surrendered to the redhead, he was at his mercy and he wouldn’t have it any other way.  
Ian grabbed Mickey’s wrist and put his hand on his crotch. “See? I’m losing my mind here..” he whispered, closing his eyes and placing a wet kiss on the older man’s jaw.  
“Oh fuck it” muttered Mickey as he grabbed Ian by the collar of his brown t-shirt, jumped down the bed and pushed him against the cupboard where the medical supplies were stored, making it shake.  
The Captain pressed himself flush against his torso and gently pressed his lips on Ian’s. The redhead kissed him back, and he grabbed the Captain by his hips, flipping them around and pushing him against the cupboard. Then he proceeded to grab his wrists and pin them above the older men’s head.  
As Ian took control Mickey felt his knees go weak. How he loved not being the one in charge, for once. How he wanted to just let go and let this man he was desperate to be with take the wheel.  
The Captain loosened up and Ian eased his grip as he pushed his tongue in, inviting the other man to deepen the kiss.

Mickey was in paradise. He let his tongue play with Ian’s and couldn’t help but let out a low groan when he felt Ian’s erection press against his hipbone.  
The medic let go of the other man’s hands and started to fumble with the hem of the Captain’s t-shirt, running his fingers under it and gently caressing the muscles on his back.  
They broke the kiss long enough to get rid of their shirts and when their lips touched again, the contact with Ian’s torso almost drove Mickey insane. His skin was tingling and shivering with pleasure. He wanted more and Ian was about to give it to him.  
The redhead left a trail of wet kisses and hickeys on Mickey’s jaw, neck and collarbone and he made his way, kissing and biting, to the Captain’s nipples. 

Being closeted, the older man never really had -or took- time to get to know his body properly, he quickly jerked off in the shower to get some release and that was about it. Sometimes, when he was home alone and felt particularly bold, he would finger himself, but all this was new to him, he didn’t imagine that he could get so much pleasure from such parts like nipples.

He bit his lip trying not to be too loud as he felt Ian’s tongue sliding on his abs and lapping the trail of hair that went from his belly button to the belt of his pants.  
The redhead got rid of his slacks quickly, taking them down to mid thigh as the Captain relied completely on the cupboard to keep standing, and gently caressed Ian’s hair.  
When the medic got rid of his boxers and set his erection free, Mickey felt a little self conscious about his moans and tried to keep it down, but when he felt Ian’s tongue lick a trail under his cock and collect the beads of precum from his slit he realized it was impossible.  
His grip on the medic’s head got tighter as the younger man took him in his mouth while his hands kneaded his ass.  
Mickey was embarrassed to admit that he wasn’t going to last long, when suddenly Sohail walked in the tent and stood frozen in front of the two men.

Mickey groaned at the interruption, waiting for the afghani soldier to utter some words but he was too shocked.  
Ian was speechless too and his face was becoming the same color as his hair.  
“Do you need something or will you just stand there like an asshole?” barked Mickey, pissed.  
Sohail spat on the ground and left quickly, without saying a word.

Ian turned back to look at Mickey, still surprised but amused by the man’s reaction.  
“Should we go after him?” asked Ian, dubious. “I mean should I stop..?”.  
“Don’t you fucking dare” muttered the Captain as he placed his hands on the other man’s head again, and guided him towards his throbbing dick.  
Ian smirked and went back to his ministrations, deepthroating the older man and hollowing his cheeks as he bobbed his head, sucking and licking in a way that got Mickey whimpering.  
Mickey’s breath was shallow and he was trying to keep his hips still even though they twitched sometimes, fucking Ian’s mouth, but the medic didn’t pin them against the cupboard where they were leaning.  
Instead, he moved one of his hands to Mickey’s mouth, pushing two fingers in.  
The Captain sucked them eagerly, understanding where this was going, and as they were properly slicked, Ian started gently pressing on Mickey’s rim, making his way inside.  
He pushed them in, and the older man let out a string of profanity that made him smile against his cock.  
Ian fucked him with his fingers and he crooked them, brushing against the Captain’s prostate.  
Mickey’s legs were shaking as he held on to Ian’s head for dear life. He was so close he hadn’t realized, until he looked down, that Ian had taken his own cock in his free hand and was getting off. Mickey felt the other man’s moans vibrate against his cock and his eyes rolled back.  
The sight of Ian jerking off as he sucked him was enough to make his abs tighten as he felt the release building up, but when the redhead looked at him under his lashes he almost passed out. The lust in the medic’s eyes and his touch drove him over the edge.  
“I’m gonna come” moaned Mickey, and his hips stuttered forward as he came hard down Ian’s throat.  
The medic swallowed all Mickey gave him and cleaned the last beads of cum from the head of his dick as he jerked off faster and faster until he came in his hand, with a low groan.

Ian stood up and started getting dressed as Mickey was still leaning on the cupboard, needing a moment. The medic smiled, smug.  
“What?” asked the Captain, pretending to be irritated.  
“Nothing.” smirked Ian. “It’s just.. You were all grumpy about this and yet it seems you enjoyed yourself.. That’s all” he said, with a fake-innocent tone.  
“What, you want me to say that you were right?” asked Mickey as he put his shirt back on.  
“Nah, I know I’m right, I don’t need you to say that” he shrugged.  
“Oh shut up smart-ass” the Captain replied as he elbowed him, but Ian took advantage of Mickey’s relaxed state to wrap him in a hug and kiss him again. "Alright, hot-ass" he replied smiling.  
“Hey. We talked about this. No cuddling, no holding hands, no boyfriend and girlfriend shit.” he said.  
Ian was a little hurt at the comment but he knew what he signed up for when he agreed to the “no feelings” policy. Hell, he suggested it.  
“We should deal with that asshole” groaned the medic, referring to Sohail who had caught them.  
“Shit, yeah..” replied Mickey. “I’ll get to it, as soon as I can walk properly again”  
Ian smiled, taking it as a compliment.  
“And I haven’t even started..” he teased, smug.  
“If I remember well I was promised a lollipop” said Mickey, raising an eyebrow and cupping Ian’s crotch.  
“If you were good.” he pointed out.  
“Wasn’t I?” he asked, offended and surprised.  
Ian smiled and grabbed his ass.  
“So good.” he pressed a quick peck on his lips. “Next time.” he promised.

Mickey smiled, already savoring the “next time” as he indulged one more moment in the sight of Ian's hot body, licking his lips.  
He already couldn’t wait for the next time he’d get to be touched by that man.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, so sorry this is late, I've been overwhelmed with life, seriously.  
> Anyways I hope you're still with me and that this is worth the wait!  
> As usual feedback is welcome and I send you all my love for bearing with me <3

It was one in the morning and Ian was restless, he kept tossing and turning in his bed, thinking about Mickey and about how much he missed his family, so he decided to leave his tent and go get some air.  
He climbed on the roof of the compound in the middle of camp and sat there for a while, looking at the stars, then he started writing a letter to his siblings, realizing he hadn’t really had the time until now.  
He took out a pen he was keeping for Bashira and a small piece of paper and wrote a few lines, when a hand on his left shoulder scared the hell out of him.

It was Smurf, laughing like crazy for the jump Ian made and for the “Jesus, warn a guy! You almost gave me a heart attack!” he got from the medic.  
“What are you doing on the roof of the toilets?” asked the sniper, plopping down next to him.  
“Getting some air I guess, writing to my family.. I couldn’t sleep and I like to come here and just.. Be alone for a while, you know?” explained the redhead.  
“Yeah, I understand.” replied the other man, stretching his legs and dangling them down the top of the roof.  
“You were right” blurted out Smurf after a few seconds of silence, “About the girl, I mean”, he then added.  
“I know I was” shrugged Ian. He couldn’t help but see the best in people.  
“Well, looks like you’re winning Captain Milkovich over” smirked the sniper and elbowed him jokingly.  
Ian froze, scared Sohail might have started rumors. “Wh- What do you know about that?” he asked, trying to keep cool.  
“Is there something I should know?” replied Smurf, confused.  
“N-no, I mean.. No, nothing” tried the medic.  
“You’re weird” smiled the other soldier.  
“I think I’ll try to sleep now” shrugged Ian, and climbed down the roof.

“Gallagher, a word?” Ian heard while he was heading back to his tent.  
Jesus, was no one asleep in that camp?  
He recognized Mickey’s voice so he quickly entered the Captain’s tent.  
“Have you spoken to Sohail?” asked Ian, worried.  
“Nah, that fucker is nowhere to be found.” replied Mickey, biting his lower lip.  
“Then what is it?” smirked the medic, curious and excited as he approached the Captain with a smug smile.  
“No, not now” Mickey stopped him placing a hand on his chest and regretting those words immediately. “I just saw you speak with Smurf and wanted to know what was that about.” he shrugged.  
“Nothing, he told me I was right about Bashira.. Why, are you jealous?” he smirked again.  
Mickey lit up a cigarette and didn’t even bother answering that absurd claim. He just waved his middle finger in Ian’s direction and they both laughed.  
The sexual tension between the two was palpable but they knew they couldn’t risk getting caught again.

“Sir, I’ve been thinking..” started the medic, fiddling with Mickey’s jacket.  
“Oh shit, not again..” the older man murmured. “Let me guess, you’ve been thinking about Bashira, right?” he said, resigned.  
Ian nodded and the Captain rolled his eyes as he wrapped his hands around the taller man’s neck, dragging his head down. Their lips were so close that Mickey felt his heart skip a beat.  
“If you feel she's been compromised in some way, then we have a moral obligation to keep her safe.” the Captain stated.  
Ian tried not to lose himself in those eyes and asked “do we?”  
“Of course we do.” Mickey reassured him “You just say the word.”   
“What are we going to do?” the medic said.  
“Well, right now you’re gonna go to bed, to _your own_ bed, before I lose my mind..” the Captain ordered softly, licking his lips.  
Ian smirked and got closer.  
“I said not now, remember?” Mickey said, before he took a step back and unwrapped his hands from Ian.  
The medic nodded, resigned.  
“Now piss off, Firecrotch.” the Captain smirked as he threw away the cigarette he didn’t get to smoke.  
“I’m sorry, what did you just call me?” Ian laughed.  
“Shut up” shrugged Mickey, “Get some sleep, private, that is an order.”   
“You gave me a nickname. I’m clearly winning you over with my incredible charm.” Ian said, matter-of-factly.  
“Nah, it’s your blowjobs” joked the older man.  
“Yeah, that’s more likely.” the medic laughed and went to bed.

 

****************  
Ian was woken abruptly around 5 am. A hand shook him by the shoulder and as he opened his eyes he only saw blue.  
He blinked a couple of times and realized it was Mickey. He smiled slightly before realizing how stern his expression was.  
“Ops tent, now.” he said.  
“What? Did I oversleep?” asked Ian confused, but the Captain didn’t answer.  
The older man left his tent quickly, trying not to think about how beautiful was Ian, how lovely his bed-head was and how much he wanted to wake up next to him.  
The medic will never know, but Mickey took a minute to take him in before waking him up, just a few moments to actually look at his pale, soft skin and his freckles. He looked sweet and innocent and the Captain loved it.

The medic entered the tent a few seconds after Mickey and he nodded towards all the other officers.  
Corporal Meyer nodded back to him and said “Sorry for waking you up so early, private.”  
Ian still didn’t know what it was about so Mickey stepped in.  
“We’ve had Bashira’s house under surveillance.” he stated. “Intercepted conversations mean a plan is to be implemented ASAP.”  
“Has something happened to her?” asked the medic, worried, as he sat down, ready to be briefed.  
“All we know is that an action is imminent.” shrugged the Captain.  
“Action? I thought we accounted for all six insurgents?” Ian was confused.  
“Bashira’s father is clearly in league with the insurgency. It would appear that he owed a debt to the Taliban which he has been unable to pay. As the only soldier who has seen his face, your role in the operation is crucial.” explained the corporal.   
“We need to extract the girl.” said Mickey, looking at Ian kindly.   
“Afghan social services are willing to help facilitate the removal of the child from her family and into a safe house in Kabul. We'll have checkpoints at either end of the street. Now, the ASF will be coming in here…” the Corporal started explaining the plan and Ian listened carefully, looking at Mickey from time to time for comfort and reassurance. 

 

****************  
The Under-Five were nervous as they approached Bashira’s house in the early morning.   
Ian had his eyes wide open and looked around manically while Mickey frantically spoke by radio to the men on patrol at the beginning and the end of the road.  
“We’ll secure the perimeter before we go in.” Mickey said to them as he waved a hand towards the bomb disposal squad, instructing them to be ready at any time.  
Ian admired his leadership and saw him as a role model. He was always in control of everything because he really cared. The medic aspired not only to be with him, but to be like him one day.  
“All right” Mickey said as he turned to talk to his men. “Special Forces will go in, apprehend the suspect and get the child out and away. Not before we go in and secure the area. Any questions?”

The platoon nodded their head no. “Well then, let’s go, and remember: Stay focused, stay alert, stay alive.” he repeated his mantra.  
“Prepare to move.” The radio on the Captain’s shoulder creaked.  
“Move” it creaked again.  
The platoon sprinted towards the compound and secured it.   
“Clear!” screamed Smurf.  
“Clear!” screamed Johnson.  
“Set. Go, go, go!” ordered Mickey.  
Ian entered third and saw, just like the others, that the building was empty.  
“She ain’t here!” screamed Mickey frustrated in his radio as the soldiers rushed outside.  
“Where have they taken her sir?” asked the medic confused and worried.  
“I don’t know Gallagher” replied the older man running his thumb over his lower lip, concerned, when his radio creaked again “I have eyes on the girl” it said.

Everyone turned around to see a crying Bashira walk slowly towards them.  
Ian gasped as Smurf muttered “Something’s not right sir.”  
“Agreed, the locals are anxious.” Mickey said, still not getting what was wrong, when it suddenly clicked. Ian was still in the dark, but the Captain had much more experience than him and three tours and a half behind him.  
The Captain raised his rifle and pointed it towards the child.  
“Stay where you are!” he yelled, as he looked around, nervous.  
Ian ran next to him but didn’t point his gun at the girl.  
“Bashira, stay where you are! Stop!” he cried, begging.  
The child stopped, tears rolling out of her big green eyes.  
“Lift your arms up!” the Captain ordered.  
Nothing from the girl.  
“Lift your arms up, Bashira!” Ian screamed as he lifted his, to show her.

The girl complied, and her movement showed that she was wearing a suicide-bomber vest under the first layer of clothes.

Ian bit his lip in horror and instinctively looked at Mickey, knowing he was the only one who could solve the situation.  
Mickey tried to stay calm. He lowered his gun and tilted his head to speak in the radio, not losing sight of the little girl. “Johnson I want all mobile signals blocked!” he said.  
“All mobile signals blocked, sir!” the soldier confirmed.  
“And get me bomb disposal NOW” he ordered.

Ian didn’t think twice. He gave Mickey an apologetic look and ran towards the girl, moving her clothes to see the bomb better. He tried his best to stay strong and not cry in front of her.  
The medic placed a hand on her face and whispered “It’s gonna be okay” but his voice was broken.

“What the fuck are you doing Gallagher?” Mickey screamed. “Get away from her and get down now!” he ordered.  
“Please, sir, you're going to scare her. Just let me do it. I need to keep her calm, sir. Even with the signals blocked it could still blow up if she isn’t still!” Ian said, his voice still trembling.  
“DO NOT TOUCH THE DEVICE GALLAGHER!” Mickey ordered, sweating. “Wait for bomb disposal!” he instructed.  
Ian nodded and looked Bashira in the eyes again.  
“It's all right. I'm here. Everything's going to be all right. I just need you to stay calm and stay really, really still for me, ok?” he said, tearing up as he saw the bomb disposal team approach them steadily. “We’re going to get that vest off, and everything will be all right. You're the bravest, bravest girl ever. Your dad can't beat you. You stood up to him. You showed him, you showed all of us, what a brave, brave girl you are.” he said.

“I tracked them.” Kazeem interrupted, walking next to Mickey and pointing at the small radio he was holding. “They’re 400 meters North-west and trying to detonate.”  
“They’re trying to detonate.” Mickey repeated in his radio.   
“We need five minutes” replied the bomb disposal team.  
“We don’t have that long.” stated the Captain.

Bashira was crying harder, and the sobs were causing her chest to shake. Ian had to avoid that at all cost.  
“Hey, hey, shh, little sister” he tried.  
“Sister” repeated the girl, sobbing a little less.  
“Sister. For ever” he nodded, locking eyes with her. The girl took a deep breath and stopped sobbing.  
“A-am I going to die?” she asked, worried.  
“No. I promise you.” Ian said.

“Gallagher, step away NOW!” Mickey ordered.  
The medic looked at the girl and said “They’re gonna remove it now. Just stay still, it’ll all be over soon.”  
He then looked at the two men from bomb disposal and nodded to them.  
“STEP AWAY GALLAGHER” Mickey was losing his temper.  
“Just stay still Bashira, stay still” he cried.  
“GET DOWN HERE PRIVATE!” he screamed again. “Move! Move! Move!”  
Ian quickly ran to him and the Captain gave him a death-glare that softened as soon as he saw how red were his eyes.

The bomb disposal squad had just enough time to get the vest off Bashira and put her in the back of a truck, in the arms of a social worker, before the bomb detonated, shaking the whole street but harming no one.  
Ian could only catch a glimpse of the little girl leaving for ever and she gave him a grateful smile as she saw him become smaller and smaller from the vehicle.

************************  
Mickey was sitting on the small bed in Ian’s tent as the medic scrambled to get some eye drops in his irritated eyes but the Captain couldn’t hold still and kept squeezing his eyelids every time Ian approached.  
"Be good, or no lollipop for you!" the medic warned. He found it terribly funny and mocked his Captain profusely, as the older man tried to look offended.  
"Empty threat, Firecrotch" Mickey shrugged. "I was promised a lollipop yesterday too and I haven't seen it yet" he defied, smug.  
"Well, be cool now and you'll get it soon" Ian smirked and gave him a quick and sweet kiss.  
Truth was, they were both relieved to be alive and felt like celebrating.

“Where have the taken her, Sir?” Ian murmured as he tried with both his hands to keep the Captain’s head still for the drops.  
“Don’t know, don’t care” the man shrugged.  
“That's a bit heartless, sir.”   
“It’s not heartless. I just.. I don't get emotionally involved.” he stated.  
“Right.” Ian scoffed, remembering his "no boyfriend and girlfriend stuff rule".  
Mickey looked at him sourly. “If that vest had exploded, Bashira would have died. And so would you. I would never have forgiven myself.” he muttered, looking at the medic and pressing their foreheads together.  
“Good thing Lady Luck was smiling on us this time” Ian smiled lightly.  
“Indeed.” replied the older man, with a sigh of relief, and he kissed him again, slowly this time, savoring the moment.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some sad stuff here and there, and a big promise ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm really busy these days but I hope you're still with me. I'm determined to finish this before I have to leave for business at the end of june (I'll be away from home for two weeks and I don't want to leave you without updates for two weeks, I hope I won't have to). The end is definitely not far, I hope I'll actually have time to write it before I leave.  
> Lots of love to everyone.   
> Also, some smut coming soooooon <3

It was a bright Sunday morning and everyone was scrambling to finish the Captain’s special PT session, because the two winners would get two weeks off and Smurf had already finished his track, leaving only one open spot.  
Ian was the most likely to win, since all the others were pretty behind him, but he got stuck in the barbed wire as he was crawling in the mud under it, giving his opponents time to catch up.  
“Come on Gallagher! How did you even pass bootcamp! You sad excuse for a soldier, have some human decency and put some fucking effort in it!” screamed Mickey, smirking, to encourage him.   
Smurf was cheering, he really wanted to go home with Ian and maybe hang out with him for two weeks without the Captain there.

Ian felt his camo pants tear as he tugged hard with his leg and managed to break free from the wire. He then crawled out of the mud and ran quickly, crossing the finish line only to plop down two steps after, to catch his breath. Doing physical training in that heat was exhausting. The other soldiers groaned as they stopped rushing to the end of the track, going instead to get something to drink.

Mickey approached the redhead and handed him a bottle of water.  
“Hey Gallagher, you can’t die, you’re the medic! Come on, get up!” he laughed, and Ian did.  
“All right, you win 14 hours on a flight with the wit and wisdom of Smurf” said Johnson, sarcastic, patting Ian’s back.  
“How will you survive without me for two whole weeks?” smiled Ian. He addressed the question to the whole platoon, but he actually said it staring at Mickey’s eyes. The Captain looked away quickly and scoffed.  
He knew he’d miss Ian more than anything but he sure as hell wasn’t gonna show it. Not to mention how jealous he was of Ian and Smurf spending two weeks practically together, and of course the whole squad was already teasing them.

Luckily, they were interrupted by a dispatch from Corporal Kinders, saying he hadn’t been able to make contact with the Check Point and that someone needed to go and make sure everything was fine.  
“Kinders!” yelled Mickey from near the gates of camp.  
The man looked down from the tower he was standing on, his binoculars still in hand.  
“Sir” he replied.  
“Have they ever not responded before?” asked the Captain.  
“Every morning they check in and give me the night report. Today, nothing.” the man explained.  
“This is serious enough for the Special Forces..” mumbled Mickey, as he bit his inner cheek pensive. He ran a hand on his sweaty forehead, getting his thoughts straight.  
“Alright” he ordered through the radio on his shoulder. “Kinders, 2 Section, double in, full kit. And I’m gonna need a medic and an interpreter.”  
“Looks like your vacation’s gonna have to wait” smirked Johnson to Ian and Roger as they all got the orders.

**************  
The silent atmosphere around the checkpoint was eerie and unreal.  
“It looks deserted” commented Mickey in his earpiece.  
“Maybe the other side offered them a dollar more” snarled Smurf, and Ian glared at him. “Where’s Sohail, by the way?” he insisted.  
Ian looked at Mickey, alarmed.  
“Fuck if I know. He’s gone AWOL.” replied the Captain.  
“I fucking knew it. Taliban. You should have let me shoot him on day one, Boss!” exclaimed Smurf.  
“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that” replied Mickey, dry.   
“I have a bad feeling about this.” interrupted the medic, looking around, he said it mostly to himself, but he really wanted to change the topic.  
“*cough*nerd!” remarked Johnson, making the whole platoon giggle, Mickey included, but just for a second.  
“Alright, guys come on. Let’s focus up and stay ready for an ambush.” The Captain ordered, as the Special Forces led the way.  
After a few steps Ian heard some jibberish that he recognized to be the local dialect, but couldn’t understand, and someone scream “Medic! Medic!”.  
Mickey echoed them, being the first of the line he was also the first one to see the slaughter of the young Afghani soldiers on patrol at the checkpoint.  
They lay there, eyes open, covered in dried blood and flies, their flesh already greying. As they all got closer, the stench got incredible.  
“Shit.” muttered the Captain. “Gallagher!” he called.  
Ian ran towards the corpses and bit his lip hard, trying not to cry.  
“Examine and confirm death!” commanded Captain Azizi.  
Ian turned to Mickey with tears in his eyes. “They’re just kids.” he said, desperate. _Kids like me_ , he thought, but didn’t say.  
“Examine and confirm death.” Mickey repeated, in a softer tone than the other soldier.  
Ian squatted and pressed two fingers on every man’s neck.  
“No pulse.” he stated, as a tear rolled down his cheek.

******************  
Walking back to camp, Ian was absent. He was aware that he was putting his life at risk by not being focused and alert but he couldn’t help it. He kept thinking about those poor young men and their terrible fate.  
He went straight to his tent and laid awake, staring at the fabric ceiling.  
After a while the Captain walked in and informed him that a replacement medic was on his way and that he’d be leaving in one hour.  
“What?” asked Ian, baffled, as he stood up to look at the other man.  
“You’re going home” he repeated.  
“Oh. Okay.” the medic shrugged.  
“What’s the matter with you?” asked the older man, approaching him.  
“Nothing it’s just.. I mean after what we saw today I still get to go home?” he said, confused.  
“Yeah. There’s not much a medic can do for them.” explained Mickey, sitting on the bed and trying to comfort the younger soldier.  
“But with Sohail gone AWOL something might happen! You might gonna need a medic!” insisted Ian, again in his poor grammar that Mickey loved to mock.  
“We _might going_ to already have one on the way” the Captain replied, smiling.  
“He ain’t me” he commented, sad.  
“Go. That’s an order.” the Captain said.

“They didn't deserve to die like that. One fella wasn’t much older than Bashira.” Ian murmured after a moment of silence, fidgeting with his uniform and not looking at Mickey in the eye.  
“Well, he would have said he was 18 or he wouldn't have been allowed to enlist.” the Captain reassured him.  
“Do you think she's all right?” Ian asked, biting his lip.  
“Yeah, I do.” Mickey rolled his eyes but smiled gently. “I think you allowed her an opportunity she wouldn't have been given.”  
“I’d love to write to her one day, you know, when this is all over... Just to make sure she's all right.” he said.  
“She’ll be fine.” the older man nodded.  
“I don’t know.. Like today, confirming those kids were dead... They shot the guy I spoke with the other day, point blank. He never stood a chance. I just feel so sad about it all sometimes. That poor boy, Bashira, I just wish that I could sort it all out.” he confided in the older man, letting it all out as he placed his forehead on the heel of his hands and sighed.”  
“Don’t think too much.” said the Captain as he gently caressed his shoulders. “Just do the job you're fucking good at and we'll all be home by Christmas.”  
Ian smirked. “I’m good at a lot of things..” he suggested.  
Mickey caught the innuendo and laughed.  
“Shut up now, you're leaving soon. I actually came here ‘cause I had a request for you.” Mickey said, gently stroking Ian's hair.  
"I'm all ears" replied the medic.  
“Come back to me.” he said, dead serious.  
Ian was a little taken aback by that, but definitely pleased.  
He nodded and whispered “I will.” as he leaned forward to press his lips on the older man’s.

*****************  
“I can’t wait to meet your family” joked Smurf, as the plane took off.  
“Yeah, that’s not gonna happen..” replied Ian smiling. “I haven’t even had the time to warn ‘em I was coming back, they’re gonna have a stroke when they see me at the door” he laughed.  
“I managed to call my mum before” he shrugged. “I think if she opens the door to see a soldier standing there, she’s gonna faint before realizing it’s me.” he bit his lower lip, remembering the time two men in uniform came to tell them Roger’s twin brother was dead.  
“Anyway, I’ll get my mum to give you a lift if you want. You meet her and then I’ll meet your family” he joked again. “Stop repressing it!” he added, catching Ian's eye-roll.  
“What?” asked the redhead confused, but still smiling.  
“The feelings you have for me!” he replied, seeming serious. He actually was a lick serious.  
“You’re delusional” replied Ian tilting his head back and closing his eyes, tired.  
“I’m a fucking war hero!” Smurf laughed, and the medic laughed too. “Maybe if we weren’t in the same platoon..” he tried.  
“Just for clarity” Ian started, looking at him.”If you were the last guy on the entire globe and you had a face and a personality transplant, I'd still rather jerk off.” he finished.   
He didn’t mean to hurt him, but he knew he’d better be straightforward and not lead him on.  
“You say that, but you wouldn't be able to resist.” Smurf teased.  
“Oh, shut up and let me sleep” he replied, smiling.

*************  
“Hi mom” Smurf managed to say, before being wrapped in a hug so tight, it was a miracle he could breathe. When Mrs Spikey’s grasp loosened a bit Roger introduced Ian. “Mom, this is Ian. He’s the medic who saved my life. Ian, this is my mom.” he said.  
Mrs Spikey crushed Ian too in a hug that should be impossible for a woman so petite.  
“Thank you” she whispered in his ear.  
“Of course” he nodded back.  
“You sure you don’t want a lift?” asked Smurf.  
“No, really. I’ll take the L. I kinda miss it, actually” he smiled.  
“I’ll text you, then.” Smurf said as the two hugged goodbye.   
“Yeah. See ya. Goodbye Mrs Spikey” Ian greeted and left the base.  
“He looks lovely. Is he your boyfriend?” asked Mrs. Spikey when the redhead was far enough.  
“No, mother.” Smurf rolled his eyes. It was gonna be two long weeks.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian goes on a holiday but he comes back to Mickey, he always will.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's so fucking cheesy at the end, I'm so sorry, I just felt like it.  
> Stay tuned for the next chapter because [Spoiler alert] they're gonna do the do, if you catch what I mean.
> 
> I hope you like it, thanks for bearing with me and for your precious feedback.  
> Love you all.

After the initial shock when they saw him at the door, the Gallaghers scrambled to welcome him home, it looked like a who-can-hug-him-harder competition and Fiona definitely won.  
Ian was cheerful because he really had missed them like air, but when he found himself alone, his thoughts wandered to Mickey. He had grown really attached to the Captain, and was worried sick about him.  
He decided not to call him though because, besides the different timezones, he knew how busy they were down there, and maybe for the first time he realized how much he belonged to that world. He finally had found his place, and someone to live it with, someone who would understand how much he needed to feel the heat, the sand and the adrenaline to feel alive, unlike his family.  
Lip scoffed every time Ian brought that up. The medic didn’t say a word about Mickey, except that he really admired him because he was a great Captain, but he told some stories, mostly about Bashira. He could see the fear in Fiona’s eyes, so he left out some major details. Debbie had spent a couple of hours just hugging him without talking much, while Carl asked him if he had killed anyone yet and looked disappointed when the redhead answered that no, he hadn’t.

The biggest surprise though, was that their mother Monica was there too. She was there with her body, at least, because her mental illness - bipolar disorder - didn’t really allow her to actually be there.  
She had brought home her new partner, a fat, black woman named Bob. It took Ian a couple of minutes in her presence to start disliking her with a passion, which earned him a pat on the back by Fiona and a look by Lip that the medic interpreted like an “I know, right?”  
Truth was, the more he spent at home, the more he missed war, as weird as it sounded.

Waiting for dinner, Ian sat on the couch near his mother and briefly looked at her before taking a sip of his beer.   
“What’s the deal with her?” he asked, waving the bottle towards Bob.  
“She’s been really good to me, you know?” replied Monica, her eyes were fixed on a random point in space and she sounded like a ghost. Her voice made Ian’s stomach clench. He hadn’t seen her in years, and the last time he had, she had tried to kill herself during thanksgiving dinner.  
“She was there when I needed her, you know, with you being away and all..” she started.  
“Oh shut up. You never gave a fuck about me or any of us!” snarled Ian, pissed.  
Monica sobbed softly.  
“Oi, don’t speak to your mother like that!” intervened Bobby, waving a wooden spoon at him.  
“First of all, who the fuck are you, and second of all did you just fucking ‘oi’ me?” Ian barked, red with anger.  
“Listen. I'm really sorry for what you're having to go through at the moment, but that’s not a good reason to take it out on your mom.”  
“She’s basically a stranger to me, to us all. And what do you mean by that?” Ian was clenching his fists. Lip and Fiona exchanged a glare, ready to tackle him if he bolted towards the woman.  
“Afghanistan. We went on the march, you know, “not in my name”. But I guess you had no other option..” she insinuated.  
Before Ian could answer that, Lip grabbed him by the arm and announced that they were going out.  
He dragged his brother in the back yard, sat him on the stairs and tried to calm him down with a joint.  
“So, what do you think about mom?” asked Ian after taking a long drag.  
“That she needs a check up from the neck up” mumbled Lip, resigned. “Not that there’s anything wrong with.. You know, being gay, or bi, or whatever, but still.. Out of all the women in the world she picks that bitch..”  
They both laughed.

Later that night Ian woke up all sweaty and terrified. He had dreamt the boys from the check point looking at him with dead eyes and blaming him for their deaths.   
He went out and called Smurf straightaway, still shaking slightly.  
“Can’t sleep huh?” asked the sniper, his voice well awake.  
“You too?” replied Ian.  
“Nightmares and stuff” shrugged Roger.  
“Same here” shrugged the medic.  
“Wanna meet up tomorrow? We can hang out” suggested the soldier.  
Ian laughed and replied “But I’m supposed to be getting some rest away from the likes of you”.  
“Yeah, but you’re the only one who understands.” admitted Smurf softly.

***********  
The morning after Roger picked Ian up very early. Everyone at the Gallagher house was asleep, luckily, so he snuck out leaving a few lines explaining he needed some me-time and he'd be out with a friend for the day.  
“You all right?” asked Ian as he entered the car.  
“Yeah. You?” replied the other man.  
“Sort of. Don't feel…” started the medic, indecisive  
“Normal?” suggested Smurf.  
“How long until everything gets back to normal?” asked Ian, discouraged.  
“It can't, can it?” shrugged Roger.  
“I thought we would just put Afghanistan in a little box and shove it under the stairs.” said the redhead, saddened.  
“What?” asked the other man.  
“Out of our minds I mean. And don't go near that fucking box, ‘cause that's when you get fucked.” he explained.  
Smurf nodded, agreeing.

“How do you think they're all doing? I don't like it that they're there without us. We all need to be together.” Ian asked again.  
“Let’s hope they've caught old scar face Sohail. Dunno if he pulled the trigger but he definitely had something to do with what happened at the mountain pass. I knew from the start that he was fucking Taliban. He could have already pulled another little stunt for all we know.” muttered Smurf, clearly in distress.  
“I don’t wanna think about it, it’s fucking unbearable.” said Ian, frustrated. He kept worrying for Mickey most of all.

“Lake Michigan? Seriously?” joked Ian when they arrived, as he got out of the car and stretched his legs.  
“Most important place in the world to me. That's why I had to share it with you. It’s where I go when I need peace.” explained Smurf.   
Ian nodded and then the sniper added “We scattered my brother here. Milkovich stood just about where you are now.”  
“The Captain was here?” asked the medic surprised. “And he liked it?”  
“Loved it.”   
Ian smiled softly at the mention of Mickey’s name. He imagined him being here, heart broken and blaming himself for the death of a man in his charge. He wanted to hug him right now, try to make it better, but getting to know the man, he realized he’d probably carry that guilt to his grave.

***********  
“Wanna stay for dinner?” asked Ian when Roger pulled over in front of the Gallagher house.  
“And meet your family? I _am_ growing on you then!” joked Smurf.  
“Don’t push it, mate.” replied Ian smiling.  
Dinner went basically fine. At first Ian’s family kinda grilled Smurf, asking him literally anything possible, with Bob chewing in silence and glaring at them.  
“So you joined the army too?” she asked  
“Yeah, you got a problem with that?” shot Ian, defensive.  
The atmosphere heated up a bit, but after a while the kids went to bed and Lip, Fiona, Ian and Roger stayed up a bit more, talking and drinking.  
“See you soon, Ian” said Smurf when he left, hugging him goodbye.  
“Yeah” replied the medic, hugging him way less tight than the other boy hoped.

***************  
Back in Afghanistan, Mickey was counting the days when Ian’d be back. It was only a week away but it felt like years.  
The man took a peek out of his tent to make sure no one was around, and then picked up a jacket Ian had left behind and he had secretly kept.   
He sunk his face in it, breathing in the boy’s scent and bit his lip. He missed him more than anything and that was bad for the mission, he knew that, but he couldn’t help it.   
He fell asleep hugging the jacket tight and thinking of him.

***************  
One week later, Smurf and Ian landed near camp with their biggest smile. The medic even caressed lightly the sentence printed on the camp’s gate. It said “Welcome to Hell”, but Ian had never felt more happy.  
He spotted Mickey straightaway and gave him a big smile.  
“You okay boss?” he smirked.  
“All right, Gallagher” the man replied.  
“How are your blisters?” Ian asked, already dreading the answer.  
“Horrifying as usual, wanna take a look?” the man teased.  
“Dying to, sir.” he answered, sarcastic.  
“Alright then, follow me. Oh, Smurf, no need to unpack, we’re moving back to Bastion tomorrow.” he said.  
“Yes sir.” replied the sniper, suddenly saddened by the clear affection between the two men.

As soon as the two soldiers entered the medical tent, they jumped on each other, kissing avidly and grabbing fistful of clothes.  
It was rough and passionate, just like Mickey liked it.  
“God how much I’ve missed you” whispered Ian, cradling Mickey’s face and kissing him harder, biting his lips and pushing his tongue in, almost overwhelming the shorter man.  
Even though his mouth was busy, Mickey managed to smile softly at that.   
“Come on, let’s keep it down Gallagher” suggested Mickey.  
Ian’s hands stopped wandering on the other man’s body.   
They kissed some more and when they got all of it out of their system, Ian calmed down and asked “So, no news on Sohail?”  
“Nah. Still AWOL.” replied Mickey, adjusting his clothes that Ian had ravished.  
“I was worried sick he might try something while I wasn’t here. If anyone knows our secrets, it's him.” he said.  
They were both leaning on the small bed, facing the same direction, and when their shoulders touched they both felt chills.  
“He ain't tried anything yet.” the Captain reassured, and then he mocked “Maybe he was just lying low... Waiting for you to come back.” he said in a spooky tone, trying to scare Ian.  
“Don’t say that. That's creepy!” laughed Ian, smacking him lightly on his arm.  
“How the hell did Mike slice his forehead by the way?” asked the medic.  
“Apparently he was shaving gangsta nicks into his eyebrows when someone burst a balloon behind him and made him jump.” he explained. Ian laughed hysterically.  
“I bet the officers weren't too happy?” he guessed.  
“Yeah, mainly because gangsta nicks are banned in the military.” shrugged Mickey, still laughing a little.  
“Oh hey, I’ve got something for you, I hope it’s not melted” remembered Ian suddenly, and kneeled to fumble with his bag.  
“You brought me a souvenir?” asked Mickey, blushing. He wasn’t the only one who’d been thinking about the other after all.  
“Yeah, no biggie.” replied Ian gingerly as he handed him a box of snickers bars.  
Mickey almost cried. They were his favorite snack and he missed them and craved them every day.  
“How did you know?” he asked surprised.  
“Well, I know you have a sweet tooth cause I see you eat every day and I actually pay attention” Ian laughed, mocking his five-year-old diet. “And then the other night I saw a snickers wrapper under your bed so I figured you had a stash”  
“I had it, yeah, I ran out of them like three weeks ago and I was starting to get fuckin’ homicidal” he smiled. “That’s.. so thoughtful.. Thanks” he added and gave him a peck on the lips.  
“Come on, I said it’s no biggie.” Ian said and kissed him sweetly, hugging him. “And the real present is coming tonight anyway..”   
Mickey looked at him slightly confused but he understood what Ian meant when he felt the medic’s erection press against his hip bone and melted in the hug.  
“Can’t wait” he whispered, cupping it and making Ian shiver in desire.  
“I'll come when everyone’s asleep.” he whispered and pressed his lips against Mickey’s.  
"You can stay here after.. I mean, if you want.. you know.. to spend the night.." the Captain suggested, struggling with words.  
"Was I just invited to a sleepover?" Ian joked.  
"Fuck you is what you were invited to" Mickey snarled back, laughing a little. “I’m just so happy you came back to me” he then said, with his eyes closed, sinking his head in Ian’s chest.  
“I promised you, didn’t I?” the medic replied, hugging him closer.  
“Yeah, you did.” Mickey admitted, smiling softly.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And there it is. It's really 100% porn this time, not even the 1% of plot.   
> I hope it's your thing.

As promised, Ian walked in Mickey’s tent a bit after nightfall, finding him sprawled on his bed in his camo pants and light beige t shirt, reading what appeared to be a letter. But what he noticed were the reading glasses he was sporting. Greeting him, Mickey took them off. “Too bad” Ian thought, they made him look so hot.  
“What are you reading?” he asked, smiling.  
“A letter from my sister” the man replied, putting it away.  
“Oh, you have a sister?” the medic said, still smiling softly. He liked getting to know the Captain better.  
“Do you really wanna talk about my sister right now?” Mickey asked teasingly, as he approached the taller man and his hands lingered on the medic’s hips.  
Ian didn’t think twice and shrugged, initiating a hot kiss. The Captain kissed him back, and soon they were walking tentatively towards the small bed, with eyes closed, until Ian had an idea.  
“Lay on the bed.” he ordered.  
“Make me” Mickey smirked, defiant.  
“Oh, it’s on” Ian thought as he grabbed the man and pushed him towards the bed making him walk backwards and kissing him avidly.  
When Mickey’s calves touched the bed he let himself fall on it, carrying Ian with him.  
Their hands were running all over one another’s bodies, exploring, caressing and teasing.  
Ian remembered how sensitive Mickey’s nipples were and brushed them with his thumbs to make them harden. He then proceeded to run his fingers on the other man’s ribs, finding out he was ticklish when he squirmed.  
He smiled as Mickey’s fingernails were slightly scratching his back. He savored the feeling, hoping later, when he’d be pounding him, the older man would scratch him harder.  
They were both rocking their hips against one another, relishing in the friction despite the layers of clothes.  
“Do you want to make me cream my pants like a teenager?” whispered Mickey softly against the other man’s lips.

Ian smirked and proceeded to leave a trail of wet kisses on the other man’s jaw and neck, he made his way to his collarbone with soft licks and small bites, even leaving a small hickey under the collar of his t-shirt.  
Mickey sat up pushing Ian back and took off his shirt, already impatient. The medic did the same and laid back on his elbows looking at the Captain and licking his lips like he was a prey. His prey.  
Mickey blushed as he undid Ian’s pants.   
All of this was new to him, he’d never been looked like that before. He’d never felt wanted, and it was the biggest turn on for him.

Ian lifted his hips to help Mickey get rid of his pants and boxers and smirked a little at the surprised noise the older man made.  
The Captain knew he was big, he had caught a glimpse the previous time and he had felt him through the clothes, but only being so damn near to that dick made him realize how actually big it was.  
It didn’t scare him, though, it intrigued him.  
He licked a trail on its underside with the tip of his tongue, and when he got to the head Ian laid his head back and let out a low groan.  
Mickey circled his tongue on the head and lingered on the slit, tasting the salty precum and making Ian’s thighs shake a little. He massaged them with his callous hands as he took Ian in his mouth.  
When Ian felt his cock touch the end of Mickey’s throat he hissed and laid on his back, so that his hands were free to hold the Captain’s head.  
Mickey hummed slowly and the vibration made Ian shiver.  
“You’re so fucking hot right now” he muttered, and Mickey smiled softly, albeit his mouth was pretty busy.  
He bobbed his head faster and faster, hollowing his cheeks as he sucked him, as Ian braced himself on Mickey’s head, but army regulations forbade hair long enough for him to rake his fingers in, so he just held it as best as he could, feeling his orgasm creeping up.   
“Oh god stop” Ian whispered, shivering and shaking “Stop, I'm gonna come” he stuttered, his voice broken by the pleasure.  
Mickey smirked and put some pressure on the base of Ian’s dick. “Let’s get this show on the road then.” he said before taking his pants off.

Ian pulled himself together and sat up to see that Mickey was already on all fours waiting for him.  
He bit his lower lip at the sight and closed his eyes, trying to fix that image in his brain for ever. He then made a devilish smirk and decided to make Mickey beg for it.  
He pressed himself against him and leaned forward to lick and nip his earlobe. He then bit and kissed on Mickey’s spine, making him arch his back and moan lightly.  
“You’re a fuckin’ tease, you know that, right?” the Captain said, desperate.  
Ian laughed but didn’t answer. Instead, he placed his hands on Mickey’s butt cheeks and spread him open, then he licked his rim fast and light a couple of times, eliciting a string of profanities from the older man.  
He laughed and licked him again, this time pressing harder on the circle of muscles.  
The medic alternated licking circles around the rim and pushing his tongue inside, making Mickey gasp and squirm under it.  
When the Captain couldn’t take the stimulation anymore, he started jerking his leaking dick, but Ian slapped his hand.  
“Did I say you could touch yourself?” he asked, cocky.  
“Well then fuck me before the end of the war, will you?” snarled the man back, so aroused he didn’t even enjoy Ian taking control. He just wanted to feel him inside of him, now.  
“So bossy” Ian commented smirking, and slapped him on the ass, making him hiss.  
He then slicked his fingers with lube and pushed one inside, moving it back and forth and loving the way Mickey’s ass swallowed it.  
The Captain was getting impatient and rocking his hips to fuck himself on Ian’s finger, so the medic added another one, scissoring and twisting them until the other man was ready for a third finger.  
“Please Ian..” Mickey begged.   
“Please what?” he teased again, crooking the three fingers and brushing them on the soldier’s prostate.  
“Oh fuck right there” was the reaction, Ian smirked to himself and decided he had teased enough.

“Do I need to use a condom?” Ian asked, slicking himself up and giving his hard dick a couple of tugs for good measure, but not really needing them.  
“I’m clean” groaned Mickey “Just get on me” he begged.  
Ian obeyed, lining himself up and pushing slowly. In that moment Mickey realized just _how_ big Ian was and loved it. Yeah, it burned, but it was the good kind of burn, and the pleasure was much more intense than the pain.  
Ian held him steady by the hips as he slowly bottomed out. He leaned forward again, pressing his torso flush against Mickey’s back and giving them both time to adjust.  
“You’re so fucking tight” he whispered in the Captain’s ear, and then bit his neck as he started moving slowly.  
“Harder” muttered Mickey, and Ian complied, straightening back up and placing a hand on the man’s hip and the other on his shoulder to keep him still as he pounded him.  
“Jesus fucking Christ” moaned the Captain, moving his hips and following Ian’s rhythm.  
Ian’s breath was getting shallow, and he felt he was about to come. Wanting to last a little bit longer he pulled out - getting a disappointed grunt from Mickey - and then commanded “turn around”.

Ian’s order went straight to Mickey’s cock, so he obeyed and laid on his back.  
He wrapped his legs around Ian’s hips and waited for him to get in again, lazily jerking off his leaking dick.  
“Oh I don’t think so” smirked the medic, as he grabbed his wrists and pinned them down above his head with one hand, remembering how much Mickey liked it the previous time.  
“Fuck yes” the man moaned, moving his hips to rub against Ian’s dick.  
The medic smirked at the power he had, and pushed himself inside Mickey again, still going slow to make it last longer.  
“Ian” the Captain moaned, eliciting a low groan from him and almost driving him insane.  
“Oh, you like it when I say your name?” he smirked. “Good to know.” he said, biting his lip. “Ian” he said again “I’m not made of glass” he hinted. “Fuck my brains out” he finally commanded.  
The medic set Mickey’s arms free to place both his hands on the sides of the Captain’s head.  
As he imagined, the older man’s hands went straight to his back and his fingers scratched his skin making him shiver.  
He then rested on his forearms, and by doing so he adjusted his angle, hitting Mickey’s prostate with every thrust while his abs were rubbing against the man’s neglected cock.  
“Fuck Ian right there” the man panted, and the medic slammed against that bundle of nerves as hard as he could until Mickey couldn’t hold it back anymore and came hard, shuddering and muttering his name over and over.  
The medic didn’t last much longer. Hearing Mickey say his name with his voice broken by the orgasm, feeling the hot cum against his chest and the Captain’s muscles clench around him as he came was enough to tip him over the edge and make him come hard inside Mickey, while he sank his head in the crook of the other man’s neck.

It took both of them a while to catch their breaths and get their heartbeats back to normal. When they did, Mickey got up to clean himself and brought Ian a wet towel to clean the mess the Captain had made on his abdomen.  
Mickey was standing near the bed and just looking at Ian laying there sprawled, exhausted and still a little flushed.  
“Come here” the redhead whispered.  
Mickey really wanted to bring up his no-cuddling rule, but he realized he was the one who invited Ian to spend the night, so it was pointless to complain about him actually spending the night.  
He surrendered and laid down next to him, even allowing Ian to wrap himself around him and gently kiss his neck.  
“That was great” the medic said softly, his breath tickled Mickey’s neck.  
“It was.” replied the Captain, relishing in that warm embrace despite the Afghan heat.

They were both so exhausted that they fell asleep straightaway, naked and sweaty, twisted in a sweet hug that revealed much more about their relationship that they’d admit.


	12. Chapter 12

In the early morning, Ian and Mickey woke up feeling happy, even though they technically were at war.   
The Captain was so relaxed (and kind of sore) that he even let Ian snuggle him a little, before pushing him out of bed and saying “Come on, you gotta go before someone sees you.”.  
Ian moaned, not wanting to leave the bed - and Mickey - , but then he got up and started to get dressed.  
“It’s the crack of dawn” he complained, taking a peek out of the tent. “Wanna go for a run? We can watch the sun rise!” he then suggested, trying to look at the bright side of being up so early.  
“Fuck off” muttered the Captain, playfully throwing a t-shirt at him and sinking his head in the pillow. “Watch the sun rise.. Jesus Christ you wanna spread a blanket out and watch for shooting stars next?” he mocked.  
Ian shrugged and left the tent a little resigned but still reliving the perfect night the boys had together.

*****************  
When Mickey joined the others at breakfast no one remarked his slight limp, probably they assumed it was caused by the blisters. Only Ian knew the truth and smirked.  
“So you went to Lake Michigan with Smurf and you weren’t a hostage?” mocked Mike, loud enough for Mickey to hear.  
“Old Smurf is a gentleman huh? Took you on a road trip?” teased Johnson as the sniper blushed evidently and Ian laughed.  
“You went to Lake Michigan?” asked Mickey, looking upset as he plopped down on the bench next to Ian, nursing his coffee.  
“Gingery and Smurfoid sitting in a tree... K-I-S-S-I-N-G!” started Eric, one of the soldiers, as they all laughed.  
“Yeah, we hung out, nothing happened.” assured Ian, then he asked to speak privately with Smurf.  
“Just ignore them, they’re just joking” pleaded the sniper as they both walked away from the tent.  
“You haven't said anything happened other than what actually happened?” Ian asked.  
“I haven't said anything. We just chilled. Wasn’t a secret, was it?” replied Smurf, apologetic.  
“No, it wasn’t” admitted the medic.  
“Ian. I’m not stupid. I know you don’t wanna go out with anyone in the platoon..” started Roger.  
“No, Smurf. I don’t wanna go out with you.” Ian made clear and then asked, impatient “Why can’t you just be my mate?”.  
“Because I think I love you!” the sniper blurted out, walking away from the ginger with tears in his eyes.

*************  
“We just hung out, it was nothing.” Ian repeated for the millionth time.  
“What are you telling me that for, then?” asked again Mickey, pretending to be busy, his tone of voice suggested that it was nothing but he was actually a little jealous.  
Ian wasn’t sure how to answer that. He didn’t wanna ruin the perfect night they’d spent together, though, so he dropped the argument and boarded the tank where the platoon was already waiting for him.  
They were gonna patrol the village that afternoon, and the two tanks, one for each section, were already lined up in front of the gates.  
Mickey boarded last and took a seat between Ian and Smurf. The awkwardness was palpable, to say the least.  
“When are we off to Bastion sir?” asked Johnson, breaking the silence.  
“0600 tomorrow. You better pack tonight.” he answered. He looked distracted, like he was sensing something.  
“So this is the end, yeah? The kids are going to school.” added Ian.  
“Try not to run the little shits over or it'll all have been a bit of a waste of time!” Smurf mocked Mike, the driver, who laughed and flipped him off without even turning.  
“Our work here is done. So, are we at Camp Bastion till draw down, Sir?” asked Smurf.  
“Until we are told otherwise.” replied the Captain, laconic.  
“Sir, there's only boys!” stood up Ian, looking outside from a small hole in the side of the tank. “There's only boys going to school, Sir.” he repeated.  
“We’ve been called back to Bastion, Gallagher. The ANA are in control of the area. It has nothing to do with us anymore.” Mickey said, almost like he didn’t care, but deep down it did. It was killing him.  
Sensing that Ian was going to start ranting about Bashira again, Smurf decided to interrupt the two and ask “Are we there yet or what?”  
“Chill!” was the answer from the driver.

“Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!” yelled Mike a few minutes later, slamming down the brakes even though the tank was proceeding slowly.   
“What is it?” asked the Captain, who could only see the side of the road and not what was in front of the vehicle.  
“Sheet pinned down by rocks sir! Looks like there could be a body underneath. Blood all over the sheet, sir. Probable booby trap.” the driver described.  
“All right.” Mickey said. “Johnson, Hendricks. I want you guys out and covering.” He ordered.  
“Sir.” they both answered.  
“Gallagher, you come with me. Need you on that gun, Smurf.” he said.  
“It moved! It fucking moved!” yelled Mike. “I swear, Sir. Did anyone else see that?”  
“Are you sure it wasn't just the wind?” asked the Captain as he got out of the tank. “I’ll investigate.” he asserted, as he started walking slowly towards the sheet, moving a metal detector in front of his feet before taking every step. “Gallagher wait out until I call you in.” he ordered.  
Ian obeyed at first, but when the Captain was about ten steps away he trotted behind him. Hearing his steps, Mickey turned his head slightly to watch over his shoulder.  
“Gallagher, what the fuck are you doing?” he yelled, without turning again.  
Ian didn’t answer, he just caught up with him, arriving so close he was practically leaning on him.  
“You got a fucking death wish?” spat out the Captain.  
“Maybe.” the medic answered, staying behind him as they both kept slowly walking forward. “Anyway, it's good to have some quality time together.” he added.  
“Is that why you're risking your neck?” Mickey asked, trying to keep calm. He was royally pissed off, though. He couldn’t believe how blatantly Ian disobeyed him, and didn’t even want to think about the fact that he could die because of it.  
“Nothing happened with Smurf. But at least now I know.” stated Ian, with a soft smile.  
They were getting closer to the sheet. It was only a dozen steps away now.  
“Know what?” asked the Captain, still not turning to look at Ian. Eyes fixed on the possible threat and brain whirring.  
“Well, I never thought you would look at someone like me. I thought that you were out of my league.” Ian shrugged. His breath tickled Mickey’s neck, making him shiver.  
“What are you trying to say, Gallagher?” he inquired.  
“I’m just saying... I like you, Sir. A lot.” he said. “And I wanted to tell you in case we get to that sheet and someone detonates it and we're blown to shreads.” he shrugged.  
“Well, let's continue this conversation when we're back at camp, shall we?” the Captain replied, overly caustic.  
“You mean that love's stronger than army regulations?” Ian joked with a smirk.  
“Nothing is stronger than army regulations.” the Captain stated, actually believing it.  
“Do you love me?” the medic boldly asked.  
Mickey let out a deep sigh. They were merely a couple of steps away from the sheet now.  
“Not everybody just gets to blurt out how they fuckin’ feel every minute, Gallagh.. what the fuck?” yelled the Captain as a hand covered in blood reached out from under the sheet and grabbed the metal detector.

Recovering from the scare, Ian squatted quickly and removed the sheet, uncovering a man whose face was familiar, even though he was covered in bruises and dirt.  
Mickey recognized the man too.  
“Sohail! Sohail!” screamed Ian.  
“Vallon the perimeter.” commanded Mickey in his radio.  
“Sohail, just stay with me, all right? I'm going to need you to give me those evil eyes again, okay?” Ian tried to joke as he evaluated the damages.  
“Kinders, it's Sohail! Wait out.” Mickey said in his earpiece, then he switched to the radio. “We’re going to need to cas-evac him out of here ASAP.” he ordered. “Kinders, make sure they send in the M.E.R.T., we have Cat A injured ANA.” Mickey commanded again in his earpiece.  
“Roger that.” replied the Corporal.  
“Let me die.” murmured Sohail as Ian was treating him. “Tell them to let me die.”   
“Just keep your head still for me, okay?” Ian said. “He says he has nothing to live for.” the medic said turning to Mickey.  
“We’ve all got to have hope, mate. I'm a Red Sox fan, believe me, I know what I'm talking about.” The Captain tried to soften the mood.  
It was the last thing Sohail heard before passing out.

He woke up in a hospital, dazed and confused, a couple of days later. He had survived the surgery he was subjected to. All the internal bleeding was either fixed or under control and the swelling on his face was considerably reduced. The doctors said he was going to make a full recovery.  
The first thing he saw when he opened his eyes were Ian’s ginger hair as the medic towered over him, checking his vitals. He realized he was at Camp Bastion but he didn’t know who had brought him there or how.  
“Who did this to you, Sohail?” the soldier asked, preoccupied after checking his pupils and his reflexes.  
“Taliban” he answered in a raspy voice, his throat burned like he’d been eating sand. “They ask me to do something. They beat me up because I say no. They kidnap me and beat me up.” he explained talking slowly.  
“Anything to do with the attack at the mountain pass?” asked Mickey, entering the room.  
“No.” the scarred man answered.  
“Was it something to do with Bashira?” continued Ian, worried.  
Sohail nodded his head yes. “Her father, Badrai, sent her to spy. That's why I tried to keep her away. He said I had to say where she is.” he continued.  
“You didn't tell him did you? He mustn't know where she is.” said Ian, even more worried.  
“I don't know where she is.” the man shrugged.  
“So they beat you with rocks?” Mickey asked, wanting to get the facts straight.  
“They beat me with rocks because I wouldn't kill someone.” he asserted.  
“Kill who, Sohail?” asked Ian taking his hand.  
The man looked at him with those evil eyes Ian hated so much and took his hand away from the medic’s grasp.   
“You.” he said dry.

Ian and Mickey left the room. The medic was terrified and sad at the same time. He was a target and a man had almost died because of him. He plopped down on the floor and Mickey sat down next to him.   
The Captain didn’t say anything, he just took his hand and squeezed it. They sat there in silence for a while, not really knowing what to say to each other.

 

*******  
A small footnote: “cas-evac” means Casualty Evacuation and the M.E.R.T. is the Medical Emergency Response Team.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New day, new mission!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.s. you're getting two chapters today since I've been busy lately and I had some time tonight so I've been writing for like four hours. The next is coming up later tonight, I just need to finish writing it. Stay tuned!
> 
> P.P.S. all this is unbeta'd so I'll fix the mistakes later, sorry about that (english is not my first language)

A few weeks passed without incidents, the platoon was transferred at Bastion and Ian was slowly readjusting to life in Afghanistan, he even almost stopped having nightmares of talibans beheading him and stuff like that.  
The good thing was, though, that he spent most nights curled up with Mickey, so that he’d cuddle him through his dreams and calmed him when he woke up shaking and sweating.  
Ian thought he could get accustomed to that kind of life, physical training in the morning, patrol in the afternoon, and cuddling with Mickey at night. War wasn’t that bad after all.

That morning Mickey had decided to spice up the PT session by ordering that the last one to cross the finish line would be on latrine cleaning duty.  
“Just because you're tucked up all snug and safe in Bastion, does not mean you are no longer real soldiers!” screamed the Captain, trying to encourage the team. “If this is all the effort you're going to put in, we can do a 5k run every morning and a 10k run every evening until you do not look like the unfit slobs you look like today. Can we remember we are the U.S. Army?” he screamed again, smirking.

*********************  
It was lunch time and everyone was queuing around the mobile canteen. The last one to show up was Mike, who had to clean the latrines, he was complaining about the smell when he was interrupted by Captain Milkovich.  
“Boys, I reckon we got about another month of Bastion before decompression and home, you know.” he said.  
The boys in the platoon, clearly relieved, started making jokes and lightening the mood, except Smurf.  
“I'm gutted we're pulling out, man. I want to go on another tour. There's still Taliban out there. There's still Badrai out there!” smiled Jack.  
“Oh, and all that time I spent writing my death letter and now no-one's going to be able to read it!” replied his buddy Tim.  
“You sound gutted, Chang!” shrugged Mickey, smiling at both of them.  
“Can we please stop talking about dying? My mum's busting my balls enough as it is.” interrupted Smurf, his face dark.  
“Why?” asked Ian, curious.  
“She just wrote to me... She said she had a premonition, thinks something bad's going to happen.” he shrugged.  
“Oh shut up” laughed Johnson, slapping him on the shoulder.

****************

A few hours later, Ian was summoned by Corporal Kinders in private.  
“You wanted to see me Sir?” Ian asked, standing straight near the other man, with his hands behind his back.  
“At ease soldier” commanded the officer, Ian nodded, obeying and assumed a more casual position.  
Then the Corporal continued “I just wanted to let you know that after Sohail's attempted murder and other intel received, Badrai is  
very much on the Army’s radar.” he said.  
“What do you mean?” asked Ian, confused.  
“We need him caught and will be doing all in our considerable power to support the Special Forces and get him caught. He's pretty much at the top of their wanted list.” he explained.  
“Really?” replied the medic, surprised.  
“Yeah. our Intelligence has a dossier that... Well, it makes for a pretty shocking reading. He's pretty high up in the network. He's not just some lightweight, ten dollar Taliban. He's solid.” the Corporal continued.  
“Right.” nodded Ian, still a little taken aback.  
“So, Captain Milkovich and I have been speaking to Major Henley…”  
“American Intelligence?” asked Ian, as his jaw dropped.  
The officer nodded his head yes.  
“Any mission will involve you, Gallagher.” he stated. “ You're the only person among us who’s eye-balled Badrai. You'll be needed to positively ID him.” he commanded. Ian smiled, thinking he could finally make things right, so that all the bad things that had taken place didn’t happen in vain.  
“You happy with that?” asked the Corporal.  
“It’ll be my absolute pleasure, Boss.” smiled Ian again, shaking his hand.  
“OK. We'll let you know when you're needed. You’re dismissed.” he commanded before leaving Ian with his thoughts.  
The medic waked towards the tent when Smurf approached him.  
“You coming to watch the volleyball match? It's us against the Brits.” the sniper asked.  
“I don’t know if I can.” replied Ian, shrugging.  
“What are you doing?” the other man asked.  
“Just got other duties and stuff.” the medic said, vague.  
“What other duties?” insisted Roger.  
“Smurf, I'll come if I can.” scoffed Ian. “And don't worry about what your mum said. You look like someone killed your puppy” he said, walking away.

*****************  
Ten minutes later Ian decided to go see the volleyball match after all. Spotting the interpreter near the field he asked “You coming to watch the match, Kazeem? I mean, you're basically an American by now.”  
“No, I'm basically not.” the man smiled.  
“It was meant to be a compliment, mate, no offense.” Ian said, apologetic.  
“I’m very happy being an Afghan.” the other man shrugged, meaning none taken.  
“Eggy said you're out of here. Your contract's finished.” said the medic, a little sad.  
“I’m going back to Kabul.” the interpreter nodded.  
“Is that good? I mean are you happy?” the redhead asked. He didn’t realize how fond he’d grown of Kazeem, he was so wise and always calm. Almost a fatherly figure he’d never had. He was going to miss him.  
“I’m ready.” the man reassured.  
“When this is all over, can I come and visit you in Kabul?” Ian asked, almost tearing up.  
“I know the subtext.” smiled Kazeem, waving his finger at Ian mockingly.  
“I don't even know what that means.” shrugged the medic, playing dumb.  
“It means you want to visit Bashira.” the interpreter stated. Ian was an open book.  
“I just hope that she's all right. You never know what her dad's going to do, and if he does anything to her so help me..” he started, clenching his fists.  
“No, Badrai won't hurt her. You mustn't worry about Bashira. People are looking after her, I'm sure.” the man reassured.  
“I just want to help.” shrugged Ian, feeling powerless.  
“You already have.” the interpreter smiled gently.  
“Have I though?” muttered the medic.  
“Yes.” Kazeem confirmed.  
************  
After a while, Ian made sure no one saw him as he sneaked in Mickey’s tent and started kissing him like he’d just got out of jail.  
“Sometimes I don’t know how I’m able to keep my hands off you.” he whispered, as he started to undress the Captain.  
“Right back atcha” replied Mickey, biting the man’s lips.  
“‘Right back atcha?’ Fucking ‘right back atcha’? I was expecting something a little more romantic than that.” said the medic, a little offended but amused. His hands ran through Mickey’s torso, making him shiver and wanting more.  
“We agreed we'd wait out.” Mickey said, repressing the desire and trying to get control back. “Before going public and shit.”  
“I am waiting out, aren't I? I'm obeying your orders, Boss.” the man smirked, as he unbuckled the Captain’s belt. “And we haven't actually told anyone so… We’re in the clear I guess?”  
“Well, I need to stay focused, get you guys home in one piece. You're in my charge. You can’t just show up like this in the middle of the day.” Mickey said, and took a step back as he got dressed again.  
“If this is a mistake, then just say it.” Ian spat, crossing his arms and looking hurt.  
“What do you mean, mistake?” asked Mickey, confused.  
“If you're regretting it... Us and... Well, Me.” he started.  
“Stop, I didn’t say that” the Captain started, but before he could finish, his radio creaked. “Get ready, Intelligence think they’ve located Badrai. Special Forces are waiting.” Kinders said through the device.  
“Copy. I’ll get Gallagher and be right there” Mickey replied to the call.  
The Captain turned to Ian and looked him in the eye. “Are you ready?” he asked.  
“I’m shitting myself, Boss” the medic replied, honest.  
“It’ll be ok. I promise. I will not let you out of my sight.” Mickey promised, and kissed him before reporting for duty.

 

*********  
The sun was setting as Ian and Mickey walked behind the armed men of Special Forces inside a small compound. The perimeter was secured and they entered the building carefully, Ian slightly shaking but Mickey right next to him.  
The Captain put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed lightly, as if he were saying “don’t worry, I’m here, I’ll keep you safe.” Ian looked at him and nodded quickly, meaning he knew.  
Inside the compound five men were on their knees, their faces covered by fabric hoods. Behind them, three soldiers, their guns pointed at the backs of the insurgents.  
Major Henley uncovered the face of the first man. “Is it him?”  
“No” answered Ian after taking a look at the man.  
The scene repeated four more times.  
“He’s not here Boss” Ian said, still a bit shaken, turning to Mickey like he was his anchor. And he was.  
“Ok.” said the Captain, calm, trying to tranquillize his medic, when suddenly the last of the five man Ian tried to identify stood up and struck him hard on the face, drawing blood out of his lip. He was cuffed and immobilized straightaway while Mickey rushed to see how badly Ian was hurt.  
“It’s ok, it’s ok, please don’t hurt him” Ian said, applying pressure to the cut.  
“Are you all right?” asked Mickey, both his hands on Ian’s face, examining it carefully. He was scared, Ian could see it in his eyes. The mere thought of losing him was dreadful to the Captain, and viceversa.  
“Yes. Never been better, Boss” Ian said, a little sarcastic, but the fact that he could sass him, convinced Mickey that Ian was fine after all.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And here's the second chapter for today. Now, that's what I call a plot twist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, it's a bit of a cliffhanger, sorry about that. But you got two chapters in a day, right? yaaay!  
> Next chapter will come soon, I promise, I won't leave you hanging too long. :*
> 
> Thanks for the feedback, I love you all.

The morning after, back at Camp Bastion, Ian was greeted by Smurf who smiling at him at first, but got worried when he saw the dried blood on his face.  
“What happened?” he asked.  
“Nothing. Don't worry about me, I can take a punch.” Ian shrugged.  
“Has someone hit you?” the sniper said, getting angry.  
“Don’t be silly, I was joking! I fell off the running machine at the gym, like the idiot I am” the medic shrugged as Smurf laughed at him.  
“No, seriously what happened?” he said again.  
“I told you” the medic replied, annoyed.  
“The truth.” he insisted.  
No answer from the redhead.  
“Look Ian, I know I fucked up, but your friendship means so much to me. I need you in my life.” he pleaded.  
“I am in your life, Smurf. And I care about you, I do. But as a friend. Only a friend. There, I said it.” the medic stressed the word friend.  
“How about a best friend?” Smurf suggested.  
“Don’t push it” Ian smiled, and they both laughed at that.  
“Now, what really happened to your face?” Roger asked again.  
“Mission to capture Badrai. Didn't really go as planned.” Ian replied, vague.  
“You and the Boss?”  
“And the ASF.” replied Ian. “He’s still out there.”  
“Well, look at you, going out on these secret missions!” Smurf laughed.  
“Jealous?”  
“You bet! You're off like some superhero and I'm left here playing volleyball! You never even asked the score by the way” the sniper teased, faking being offended.  
“It’s because I don’t give a shit” the medic laughed. “ And by the way what superhero do you know that's so slow he gets hit on the cake hole?”  
“My neighbor used to have this little sign on his mantelpiece... It said “Never trouble trouble, till trouble troubles you”.” Smurf shrugged. “I never knew what it meant till I met you.”  
“What does it mean?” asked the redhead.  
“The rest of us keep our heads down but you're like, "Oi, trouble, come and have a go if you think you're hard enough”!” smiled the sniper, making a terrible impression of Ian.  
“It ain't like that, Smurf. I'd rather be here playing volleyball with you shitsticks, but it never really works out like that.” Ian shrugged, resigned.  
“You never look for trouble but trouble just seems to find you, eh, Ian Gallagher?”  
“Something like that, yeah” the medic shrugged.

**********  
Queuing up for lunch Ian heard bits and pieces of conversation from his mates.  
“I’m telling you, Brooks! Central African Republic is where we’re deployed next! Mark my words!” Chang said, sure of himself.  
“Where’s that then?” asked Brooks.  
“In Central Africa you penis face!” the other soldier replied, and the whole platoon erupted in laughter, Ian included.

“You all right?” asked Smurf, queuing behind him.  
“Smurf, stop asking me if I'm all right. The minute I'm not all right I'll let you know.” scoffed Ian, tired of everyone trying to mother him.

“I can understand why that guy hit you now.” the man joked, and Ian punched him lightly on the shoulder as he laughed.  
Their teasing match was interrupted by Captain Milkovich who looked at them stern and said “Gallagher. I need you now.”  
“They're waiting for us in the detention facility.” Mickey explained, as the two walked towards the southern end of the camp, where some metal containers served as temporary cells for interrogating insurgents.  
“Major Henley” said Mickey, as they arrived. They all saluted each other before Ian was told what all was about.  
“The insurgents have been questioned and certain information gleaned. We believe Badrai has fled to a Taliban stronghold in the mountains.” The Major revealed. “The insurgent who struck you. You have no idea who he is?” he asked.  
“No.” said Ian.  
“Are you sure about that?” the officer asked again.  
“Sir.” the medic confirmed.  
“He knows you.” stated the Major.  
“Me?” replied Ian confused.  
The officer pointed towards a small screen on the table next to the container. The soldier sitting in front of it pressed play, showing the tape of an interrogation. An interpreter quickly approached to help Ian understand.  
“What’s he said?” asked the medic  
“I am saying nothing.” reported the translator.  
Ian recognized the Major’s voice when he heard him ask in the tape “Why did you attack that medic?” but he didn’t understand the insurgent’s answer, except for one word.  
“Did he just say Bashira?” asked Ian to the interpreter.  
“He’s saying you have ruined everything.” the man replied.  
“He knows me?” the medic asked, baffled.  
“It would seem so.” said the Major.  
“He keeps saying it is all your fault. Even Bashira.” continued the interpreter.  
“So he was just saying "Bashira"? He knows her?” the medic was worried now.  
“Yes.” said the translator.  
“He won't identify himself or give us any information. Just that it's your fault.” shrugged the Major.  
“Sir, permission to talk to the detainee?” Ian begged the officer.  
“I really don't think that's a good idea, Gallagher.” Mickey stepped in.  
“If it's my fault, Sir, he can look me in the eye and tell me.” the medic begged again, both the Major and the Captain.  
“He might reveal more.” said Henley pensive, as Mickey was absolutely opposed to the idea. “He’s been restrained. Let's see what happens.” conceded the Major. Mickey bit his lip in anger.  
“Are you going to tell him I'm coming in?” asked Ian.  
“No. Element of surprise. You go in there, sit in the chair opposite and look at him. If he says nothing, simply and calmly ask him why it's your fault.” the officer instructed.  
“Yes, Sir.” nodded Ian.  
“Nothing’s going to happen to you.” Mickey reassured.  
“You ready?” asked the Major. “Count to ten and follow us in.” he ordered.

 

The man was sitting with his hands cuffed to the table. His hair was short and his stare was empty, but evil. He had a smirk on his face that was making Ian uncomfortable.  
He started speaking.  
“You have torn my family apart” translated the interpreted after a few seconds. “My sister has been taken and my father hunted. Hunted like an animal.” he continued.  
“Badrai is your father?” Ian asked, taken aback.  
“He’s saying "Everything was fine until the American came and tried to kill us." the interpreter continued.  
“Bashira is your sister?” the medic asked, still surprised.  
“Not any more!” the young man yelled, and then he spoke again in broken english “ You corrupted her with your pens and sweets. You no right destroy my country. You no right destroy my family.” he screamed, and he stood up, getting only inches away from Ian’s face. He was suddenly grabbed and made sit again. Ian didn’t even flinch.  
“I ain't scared of you.” the medic said, smug.  
“We will be revenged. My father will avenge our honor.” he replied, sure of himself.  
“How?” asked Ian.  
“Bashira. She will pay for her sins.” he smiled.  
“She’s safe.” replied Ian, calling his bluff.  
“Not anymore.” the young man replied, and the evil smirk was back on his face.

Ian left the container and as the door closed behind him he squatted, exhausted, tears running down his face, as Mickey sat next to him, wrapped one arm against his shoulders and held him tight, not caring about all the officers next to them.  
“Badrai's clearly on his way to Kabul. And he has explosives with him. He's likely to be planning a significant attack.” the Major recapped.  
“We mustn't let him anywhere near Bashira.” Ian muttered between sobs.  
“We won’t.” Mickey reassured.  
“A contact's provided intel on the vehicle Badrai is likely to be travelling in and will inform us when he's under way.” one of the soldiers stated.  
“Let’s prep the mission immediately.” ordered the Major. “Afghan Special Forces and a team of yours as back up.”  
“I’ll lead 2 Section, Sir.” nodded the Captain.  
“All right. Dismissed” the officer said.

*****************  
Mickey dragged Ian in his tent and tried his best to calm him down.  
“I’ve destroyed that family.” the medic kept saying, feeling guilty.  
“No, you haven’t.”  
“Yes, I have. Instead of saving Bashira I've put her in danger. I mean, what was wrong with the life that she had before I came and fucked everything up? Right, fine, she didn't go to school but maybe that ain't so bad.” Ian kept rambling.  
“You’ve always done the right thing.” tried Mickey, not really knowing what to say.  
“He’s going to get her, isn't he?” He asked, panicking as he started pacing the tent restlessly.  
“No.” scoffed the Captain.  
“Yes, he is, and it's all my fault.” Ian cried again.  
“No, he won't because we're going to support the ASF and make sure that doesn't happen.” Mickey insisted, squeezing his shoulders lightly.  
“You know and I know that if I didn't get involved she'd be fine. Sohail would be fine. My section would be fine, playing volleyball and eating sausages and instead I'm about to put them all in danger because I fucked up.” Ian babbled, completely freaking out.  
“Come here.” ordered Mickey sitting on the bed, he was losing his temper.  
Ian sat down next to him and tried to breathe deep.  
“He wanted to kill that little girl and you saved her!” the officer said, raising his voice.  
“Her brother just looked me in the eye and told me it was all my fault.” Ian muttered.  
“Well, I'm looking you in the eye and telling you it isn’t.” said Mickey, dry.  
“It is. I'm a failure.” replied the medic, resigned.  
“A little while ago I would have agreed, you know?” smiled Mickey, holding Ian’s face in his hands. “You’ve taught me more in the last few months than a year of training and four tours ever did.” he said.  
“I don't think so.” shrugged Ian, his voice still a little broken by tears.  
“Well, I happen to know so.” replied the Captain matter-of-factly. “When I first saw you, I thought you'd hold the platoon back, that you’d be one of those bad apples that infects the rest of those around them.”  
“Maybe you were right.” suggested Ian, not buying it.  
“You’ve made me engage my brain. We need to fix the small cogs on the wheel so the whole huge Afghanistan can work.” Mickey continued, ignoring the redhead.  
“But I haven't fixed anything. I've broken it.” said Ian, desperate.  
“No, you haven't, you were right all along. We do need to get involved, look after that little girl and give her a life. The only way we can fix the big things is by fixing the small. You taught me that.” he admitted.  
“Really?” asked Ian, about to cry for the joy Mickey gave him by saying those things. He had changed the Captain just like the Captain had changed him.  
“You should be proud of the soldier you've become.” he said, smiling softly.  
“Thank you, Boss.” Ian said, and placed his head on the other man’s shoulder.  
“I’m not always going to be your boss.” hinted the Captain. “Not when we get home.”  
“‘We’?” asked Ian, surprised at the change of heart Mickey had.  
“Yeah. We.” he smiled and kissed him tenderly on the lips.

“You got a moment Boss?” Smurf’s voice came from outside the tent.  
“One second” the man replied, scrambling to hide Ian somewhere. They settled for the closet, ironically.  
“Come in” Mickey said, clearing his throat.  
Smurf came in looking like he was about to cry.  
“What is it?” the officer asked.  
“Boss, it's just, er…”  
“Smurf?”  
“Sorry, Boss.”  
“What’s wrong?” Mickey asked, impatient.  
“Despite what my grandad says, Abe Lincoln ain’t the greatest  
American who ever lived. You are Sir. And if I had a dad, I'd want him to be like you.” Smurf started.  
“I’m a bit young to be your dad, aren't I?” asked Mickey, still not quite getting the point, but Roger ignored him.  
“Mum’s got this kind of gloomy feeling that I ain't going to be coming home. I told her all about how I feel and that and.. she sent me her engagement ring, said she didn't need it any more, and she said I shouldn't put off until tomorrow what I can do today, cause there might not be a tomorrow. You never know.” Smurf babbled.  
“What the hell are you talking about?” asked Mickey, really confused.  
“You know, Sir.”  
“No, I don’t.”  
Smurf put a hand in his pocket and took out an engagement ring, showing it to the Captain.  
“That is very sweet of you and all Smurf, but my feelings for you are purely platonic.” Mickey smirked.  
“It’s not for you, it’s for Ian!”  
The Captain rolled his eyes and cursed silently. Ian placed a hand on his mouth not to gasp and be discovered.  
“Smurf, nothing is going to happen to you on this tour. Tell your mum to stop panicking. Can I suggest you put that ring in your pocket and you don't get it back out until you're in Chicago?” He took a small pause and then continued “You’re here to work and I won't have anyone take their eyes off the task in hand.”  
“But if he says “yes”…” Smurf tried.  
“You do not allow personal feelings to interfere with your work.” Mickey scolded him.  
“I’m not, Sir.”  
“That is exactly what you're doing.”  
Smurf sighed and said “Word is, we're out of Bastion on a mission and I wanted to square it away with him in case something happens.”  
“Smurf, put the ring away and don't mention any of this to me again, or else I'll put you on the first plane home. It's against army protocol and it's endangering all of us. Is that understood?” Mickey said, raising his voice.  
“How am I endangering all of us?” he pleaded.  
“Smurf, go. Now.” the Captain ordered.  
“Sorry, Boss. Just... I only wanted some advice. How did you propose to your wife?” he asked again.  
Those words fell on Ian like a cold shower.  
Mickey bit his lip, furious, and spat “Mission briefing at 20:00 hours. Get out of my sight.”

Smurf left the tent and after a couple of minutes Ian got out of the closet. Mickey was sitting on the bed, he looked at the medic apologetically.  
The redhead didn’t say a word, he just left the tent, and Mickey, behind and walked away wiping his eyes.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The situation isn't fully resolved but in next chapter it will be, I promise! #soon

“Wait, Ian! Wait!” said Mickey, trying not to be too loud as he ran outside his tent, chasing after the medic.  
When he caught up with him he grabbed him by the arm, but Ian managed to break free and kept quickly walking away.  
Mickey struggled to keep his pace but tried to explain himself.  
“This is exactly what I meant and why I said that we should wait out before going public.” he panted.  
No answer from the redhead, who kept stubbornly walking in circles around the camp with no real destination. He was just furiously pacing with the Captain behind him trying to catch up.  
“You’re right to be pissed at me right now, and I have no right to yell at Smurf since I’ve done the exact same thing as him… We’re supposed to be here to work, Gallagher..” Mickey continued, pleading.  
Ian stopped walking and turned to his Captain with red and wet eyes and an angry face.  
“You’re married and you didn’t even think to mention it?” he said, still trying not to scream too loud, since they were in the middle of camp and everyone could hear.  
“We’re split up. Separated.” Mickey tried to argue.  
Ian rolled his eyes and turned his back on him again, ready to walk away.  
“Wait Ian! Look, I’ve come on this tour so she can sort everything out. She won’t be there when I get home. When _we_ get home.” he said, grabbing him by the arm and making him stop.  
That “we” touched Ian, but not in a pleasant way.  
“You’re fucking married.” the medic replied, pushing Mickey away.  
“Did you not hear what I just said?” the Captain spat, he was starting to get upset.  
"It's a fucking piece of paper!" he added. “Not to me. You lied to me.” Ian said, resigned.  
“Not once.” Mickey reassured, and caressed the other man’s face, trying to get close to him.  
“Well, you were very fucking economical with the truth.” replied Ian, impertinent, as he pushed him away again. “What are you going to tell me next, that you've got kids?” he asked sarcastic.  
Mickey didn’t answer. He just looked at him, and he bit his lip in regret as his eyes filled with tears.  
He was afraid this was it, that he was gonna lose the only thing that ever made him feel happy, like he was worth a damn. He bowed his head in resignation, but Ian wasn’t having any of it.  
“Oh, shit. He has.” he said, raising his hands in defeat and looking at the sky like this was some kind of sick joke.  
Ian walked away but this time Mickey didn’t follow.

**********************  
The soldiers ate early that evening, having briefing scheduled at 20:00 and a night mission.  
Ian wasn’t much in the mood of eating though, he just sat alone, away from the other men, moping and playing with his food.

“You all right? You seem a bit... I don’t know” said Smurf, sitting next to him.  
“I’m just being quiet, that's all.” replied the medic, not feeling like talking.  
“Fair enough.” replied the sniper and just sat there quietly with him for a while. Noticing how odd Ian’s behavior was, though, he asked again “Are you sure you're OK, Ian?”  
The medic didn’t reply. He just covered his face with both his hands and started sobbing.  
“Hey. Hey, don't you worry, all right?” said the other man, soothing as he hugged him awkwardly.  
“What am I not supposed to worry about, Smurf?” asked Ian, a little sarcastic, realizing the sniper had no clue whatsoever on the reason for his crying.  
“The mission.” answered Roger, matter-of-factly, assuming he was scared. “Nothing.” he then continued, “No-one will hurt you. Ever.” he reassured.  
Ian cried some more as Smurf hugged him a little tighter. “It’s OK, let it all out. Don't worry about it.” he whispered.  
“Thank you.” muttered Ian, calming down.  
“I couldn't have got through this tour without you. We help each other through, that’s the whole point.” minimized Smurf.  
“You’re a real friend.” nodded Ian.  
“I’m going to give you something now, Ian, and maybe it doesn’t mean anything as much as maybe I'd like it to..” Roger started saying, indecisive.  
“Please Smurf, not now.” begged Ian, knowing what it was all about, but the other man raised a hand, interrupting the medic and wanting to finish his speech.  
“I know what your answer will be so I'm just going to give it you now, no strings attached, while I've got the chance… Might not get the opportunity again cause.. Things happen and all that, and we're on a mission so…” Smurf took out the small, plain ring Ian had already heard about.  
“It’s my mum's ring, but I want you to have it. I mean, you're my best mate and..” he said, now he was the one crying.  
“You are so sweet, Smurf.” replied Ian, taking it just to make him feel better. He played with it a little but didn’t put it on his finger. Instead, he cut out a small thread of black rope from the med kit he had in the pocket of his slacks and tied it around the ring. He then put it around his neck and hid it behind his t shirt.  
“You’ll keep it yeah?” asked Smurf hopeful.  
“I’ll look after it until you ask it back.” nodded Ian.  
“You’ve looked after me, so I'm going to look after you till I've got you home. That Badrai ain't getting anywhere near you. I promise” assured the sniper and hugged Ian once more.

**************  
“Relax soldiers!” screamed Mickey as he entered the briefing tent.  
He looked around, his eyes stopped on Ian, who purposely wasn’t looking at him. He ran his thumb on his lower lip and then started explaining the mission.  
“The insurgent known to us as Badrai is on his way to Kabul with a cache of explosives. Our objective is to ID and apprehend him before he causes significant loss of life. Badrai is currently in the mountain region.” he said, pointing the spot on the map behind him. “In order to reach Kabul he needs to cross the river where there's an existing ANA check point.” he circled his finger around said checkpoint on the map. “Now, reliable intel informs us that the truck he's likely to be traveling in is already on the road. The ANA will stop the truck so no suspicion is aroused. The only person who can positively  
ID the target is Private Gallagher.” he said, and looked at Ian again, who kept looking at the map behind the Captain and not his face. Mickey gave up and continued the briefing. “But any visible presence of US forces risks alerting Taliban spotters who will warn Badrai. So it is imperative that this remains a covert operation. At 02:00 the section will board the helicopter and travel to the region under the cover of darkness. We'll be dropped 3km from the bridge, so as to not attract any attention.” he pointed on the map the landing point. “From there we will make our way to the check-point along an irrigation ditch. The ditch leads to a disused compound 50 meters away from the check-point, which we will need to reach and secure before dawn. A Special Forces officer who will be with the ANA will make contact. We then await the arrival of the truck suspected of transporting Badrai, at which point we'll break cover and Private Gallagher will be called up to ID the occupant. Once Badrai has been apprehended we'll radio for extraction.” Finishing the briefing, he then decided to add something to the speech. His tone changed, he wasn’t their officer spitting orders anymore. He was the man in charge of their lives speaking to them from his heart. “This mission will determine how successful our time in Afghanistan has been. If Badrai eludes us, lives will be lost. One life is one too many. Any questions?”  
“No, Sir.” the platoon answered.  
“Then let’s go get him.” he said.

*************  
It was pitch black at the landing point, so dark that without the infra-red goggle Ian couldn’t tell left from right. He saw that the walls of the ditch were high enough to hide them if they ducked, but it looked slippery and insidious.  
“Smurf, central in the ditch, edging forward.” ordered Mickey.  
“Sir.” obeyed the sniper.  
“Everyone else focus up. Keep a couple of meters between you and the person in front of you. Let's go.” he commanded.

As the platoon arranged in a straight line and steadily walked in the ditch, Mickey went behind Ian and grabbed him by the arm to keep him still. He approached his ear and whispered “You can hate me if it helps, but I'm getting you home in one piece.”  
Ian descended, following his mates, with Mickey right behind him, when a loud noise cracked the air, scaring every soldier.  
All of them ducked, and the first thing Mickey thought of doing was checking on Ian. He placed a hand on his chest and took a look at his face, making sure he wasn’t injured.  
“Everybody stay down! What the hell was that? Has anyone got a visual?” Mickey screamed in his ear piece. “Is everyone all right? You OK?” he said looking at Ian, who nodded.  
“Must have been a mortar…” shrugged Chang. When suddenly rain started to fall on them, making them cold and wet, but damn happy.  
“It’s thunder.” laughed Ian.  
“It’s fucking thunder!” Mickey laughed back, looking at the medic.  
“Rain in Afghan! I'm so not booking this again next year, Sir.” stated Mansfield with a smirk.

“All right, everyone focus up. Smurf, on you go.” the Captain commanded, with still a trace of that smile on his lips.

**************  
“That’s the bridge 50 meters west, Sir.” said Smurf in his earpiece.  
“Got it. I can see the check point. That's the compound. 50 meters south. Right, guys, let's secure the compound. Baz and Smurf, lead on.” he ordered.  
The first two men approached the building quickly and secured the perimeter.  
“Clear.” they both said in the earpiece.  
The platoon approached and they all gathered at the right side of the door in a line, except for Smurf who was on the left. Baz kicked the door and the sniper entered first, his gun up high, followed by the rest of the squad. The compound was a big room with a small door on the left that led to another smaller room.  
“Clear.” Baz said after taking a look of main room.  
“Clear.” replied Smurf entering the smaller one.  
“Kinders and Mansfield, I want you out those windows on guard duty now.” commanded Mickey  
“Yes, Sir.”  
““Let’s get this place squared away. Mansfield and Smurf you take the back, then Johnson and Chang take the east side.” he commanded. Gallagher I want you setting up a temporary med centre.” he said, pointing at the smaller room.  
“Boss.” nodded Ian as he walked past him, dropping his backpack on the floor of the smaller room. Kazeem followed him.  
“You need help?” asked the interpreter.  
“I’m all right.” the medic shrugged  
“Are you?” he insisted.  
“Yeah.” Ian smiled softly.  
“We are doing the right thing. Never lose sense of that.” Kazeem reassured.  
“I just hope that the right thing doesn't get those boys killed.” the redhead sighed.  
“Everything is under control.” the interpreted said, trying to calm the other man down.  
“You volunteered for this mission.” said Ian, even though it sounded almost like a question.  
“Yes.”

“You could be safely tucked up in your house in Kabul..” said Ian, confused.  
“We had an apartment.” pointed out Kazeem, as he helped Ian sort out all the medical supplies.  
“Did you sell it?” the redhead asked.  
The interpreter’s face darkened. “There was an explosion..” he muttered.  
“Is that what happened to your wife and daughter?” asked the medic, sad.  
The other man nodded, sadly. “Now I have nothing. Except the guilt.”  
“It wasn’t your fault.” Ian rushed to say.  
“But I survived... And sometimes I wish I hadn’t.” the other man shrugged.  
“So you volunteer for missions?” Ian asked.  
“Bashira’s the age my daughter..was when she…” Kazeem was interrupted by Smurf at the radio saying “Unidentified male approaching!”  
“Has he got a weapon?” asked Mickey in his earpiece.  
“Can’t tell, Boss.” was the answer.  
“Identify yourself! Halt! Stand still!” screamed the captain.

The skinny brown man kept walking with his hands raised above his head. When he was close enough he stated “Sergeant Ramazan-Ali!”  
“He’s ASF, Boss” confirmed Kinders. “He’s our ASF contact.” he repeated.  
Everyone lowered their gun and let the man in.  
“He says the ANA at the check point will make radio contact with him as the truck approaches.” Kazeem translated.  
“So what now then, Boss?” asked Smurf, looking at the Captain.  
“We wait out.” 

Smurf walked in the room Ian was and smiled at him. The sun was rising and Ian’s hair was glowing in the golden light.  
“It’s going to be all right.” he said, sitting on the floor next to the medic.  
“What is?” asked Ian.  
“Everything.” he said, sure. We're going to take Badrai and be back at Bastion before breakfast has finished.”  
“Well, look at you! You were all gloom and doom a few moments ago with your mom’s premonition and everything.” Ian joked, teasing him  
“I just know everything's going to be all right. You're wearing my mom’s ring and we're going home!” he smiled.  
“Calm down, dude, it's around my neck not my finger.” Ian sighed.  
When I first came out here to Afghan, I honestly didn't give a shit what happened to me. But now…” he started.  
“Stop talking, Smurf.” the medic warned.  
“It’s funny though, isn’t it? When you think about it.” said the sniper ignoring him.  
“What?”  
“Well, I just wish I'd text you back. I knew you liked me but I knew I was coming to Afghan.”  
“Liked you? You wish.” laughed Ian.  
“If I'd have called you back and we'd met up, who knows what might have happened?” Smurf insisted.  
“I do. I'd have ended up killing you before you got on that plane to Afghan.” he joked again.  
“If I'd have called you maybe we'd be together, maybe…” he tried, but Ian interrupted him. He placed a hand on his shoulder. “Smurf, go back to Chicago. Find someone who deserves you.”

In that moment the Captain opened the door and asked to speak privately with Ian, so Smurf left at once.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter for the day! We're close to the end now. One, maybe two chapters more and then the epilogue. I hope you're still with me and I didn't bore you to death!  
> Thanks for reading :)

Mickey closed the door behind him and looked at Ian. The medic looked hurt and disappointed, something Mickey couldn’t stand. The whole point of him being there was that the soldiers in his charge wouldn’t get hurt, and yet he failed. He bit his inner cheek, the guilt tormented him.  
Of course he knew he was gonna have to tell Ian about his wife and kid, sooner or later, but he’d hoped it would be a less stressful moment. Realizing the mission was dangerous, he needed Ian to be focused, because if something went wrong he couldn’t bear it.

“What?” asked Ian.  
“Is this the way to address your officer, private?” spat Mickey back.  
“Ah, now you’re my officer huh?” the medic raised his brow.  
“I’ve always been your officer. That’s why it was wrong of me to..”  
“To fuck me?” Ian interrupted.  
“I was going to say to fall in love with you, but yeah, it was wrong of me to fuck you too. And it was also wrong not to tell you the truth.” the man shrugged.  
Ian’s jaw dropped. He said the l-word. The “no-feelings” guy said that he loved him. He bit his lip not to start crying and ruin it. That didn’t change what Mickey had done, so it wasn’t gonna be so easy to be forgiven.  
The medic’s eyes lingered on the Captain’s hand. Now that he wasn’t wearing his gloves Ian realized it was badly bruised and there was some dried blood on the knuckles.  
“What happened to your hand?” asked the redhead, ignoring the urge to say “I love you” back.  
Mickey shrugged like it was nothing.  
“Show me, come on.” Ian insisted.  
As he cleaned the wound, making the Captain hiss he asked again what had happened.  
“Punched a wall” was the answer.  
“Very mature. Then again, silly me expecting you to deal with your problems like an adult. It’s much better to punch a wall I guess.” he said, caustic.  
“Fuck off.” the Captain replied. “You weren’t speaking to me anyways. Now, that’s mature.”  
“I’m speaking to you now.” Ian said, their faces dangerously close.  
“Will you listen to me?” pleaded the shorter man.  
“Will you tell me the truth?” asked the medic.  
Mickey nodded and sat down, then he started talking.  
“It was a shotgun wedding. Didn’t mean anything. Before the army, before everything, my dad was away on one of his drug trips, anyway, I thought he wasn’t gonna be back so I brought this guy home..” he took a deep breath. “Didn’t even like him that much” Mickey shrugged and smiled softly. “Long story short, he caught us. Almost beat the other guy to death. Almost beat _me_ to death. Said horrible things like that his son wasn’t gonna be a fudge-packer, pole smoking queer etcetera.”  
Ian felt guilty for making him relive all those things.  
“Then he called this prostitute he knew, Svetlana. Pointed a gun at her, and me. Said she was gonna ‘fuck the fag out of me’. Made the other guy watch as if it wasn’t bad enough, and what choice did I have? I did it. I had to.” he took another deep breath. Ian wiped a tear off his cheek and sat next to him, gently wrapping an arm around the other man.  
“A few weeks later, I wasn’t even healed properly, he told me she was pregnant and I was gonna marry her, or else. Again, what choice did I have? None. I married Lana and became a father. We lived together for a while but it was never meant to work, you know? We were both frustrated by the situation and we were taking it on each other. It wasn’t good for us or the kid. But then before this tour my dad got shot and died, fucking finally. First thing we did was file for consensual divorce.”  
Ian didn’t speak for a couple of minutes, he just caressed Mickey and hugged him.  
“I’m so sorry” was the only thing he managed to say.

“In that ditch, when the thunder frightened the life out of me..” Mickey started speaking again “In that moment a lot of things flashed through my mind.”  
“I thought it was the end.” Ian nodded in agreement.  
“So did I. I turned and looked at you and... you were all I wanted. I want you to be the last thing I see.” Mickey said, looking at him in the eye.  
Ian smiled, feeling happy like never before. “Right back atcha.” he whispered, mocking the Captain’s answer a few days back.  
They both laughed softly at that and finally kissed again, making peace.

What they didn’t see was Smurf, who had pushed the door slightly open and was looking at them. He felt his blood boil with anger and jealousy, but before he could act Kinders said “Captain! Target on the way!”  
The sniper scrambled to walk away from the door and not be caught peeking.  
Ian and Mickey broke the kiss and quickly went back to their positions.  
“Ramazan-Ali has comms from the checkpoint.” said Kinders. “They will stop the truck. We await instruction.” he explained.  
“Right, everyone, prepare. Kit up.” commanded Mickey.  
“The truck is approaching the first check point.” said Smurf, his eyes glued to the truck from his sniper rifle. “Sir, they're letting it through! It’s crossing the bridge!” he urged.  
“What’s he saying, Kazeem?” Mickey asked, pointing at Ramazan-Ali.  
“He’s making sure they stop the truck at the second CP” the interpreter replied.  
“We’re going to lose him, Sir!” urged Smurf again.  
“They’ve got it at the second barrier.” said Mansfield. “It’s stopped, Sir.”  
“Stopped.” confirmed Smurf.  
“Right guys, listen in. We're together and we're in one piece. And that's how we're going to leave once we've ID'd Badrai. Is that understood?” the Captain said.  
“Sir.” everyone nodded.  
“I am proud to serve alongside each and every one of you. You make me the soldier I am.” he finished, looking at them all. “Chang, lead out.”  
“Yes, Sir.”

The squad orderly marched towards the bridge, and as they were crossing it Mickey commanded “Everyone take up your positions. Smurf, you're with me, eyes on that farmer and covering west.”  
The soldiers took their places on the bridge in groups of two about 20 meters from one another and covered the whole area, guns raised. Smurf was roughly in the middle of the bridge, pointing his rifle at a man who was walking with a goat, about 30 meters away.

“Gallagher you’re to examine the back of the truck. Follow me.”  
“Yes sir.”  
The two walked towards the end of the bridge. The driver got out and opened the back of the truck for them.  
There were six people, all dressed in a full body burqa showing their eyes only.  
“Everything looking as it should, Gallagher?”  
“Something ain't right, Boss.”

Two gunshots cracked the air. The farmer was screaming with his hands raised in surrender and his goat was dead.  
“Was that contact? Take cover.” ordered Mickey in his earpiece, as he ran towards Smurf.  
“Smurf? What the fuck are you doing?!” He screamed.  
“Come on you wanker, go for your weapon!” the man muttered, his eyes glued to the farmer, his gun still raised.  
“Smurf, what the _fuck_ are you doing? Does that farmer even have a gun?” He screamed again, then he ordered in the earpiece “Hold your fire! Hold your fire!” to the rest of the platoon.  
“Put your gun down, Smurf.” he commanded, approaching the man.  
“Is he an insurgent, Boss? Has he got a weapon?” asked Kinders, but Mickey didn’t answer, he was focused on Smurf.  
“Smurf, what the fuck happened?” he asked again.  
“You. That's what fucking happened.” the man replied.  
“What are you talking about?” the Captain asked, confused.  
“You’ve ruined everything.” he said, sobbing.  
“What?”  
“I looked in.” he explained.  
“I don't know what the fuck you're talking about but you will put your gun down now, Smurf.” he commanded, gritting his teeth.  
“Are you all right, Smurf? Boss, what the hell's going on?” asked Ian in the earpiece, getting worried.  
“Hold your positions!” the Captain answered. “Smurf, put your gun down.”  
“Worried I might shoot you?” he asked.  
“I don't know what the fuck you're talking about but you will put your gun down now, Smurf.” he said, furious.  
“I’d have laid down my life for you, Boss. And Ian.” the man cried.  
“Private Spikey. Lower your gun now. That is an order.”  
Smurf didn’t listen.  
“But he wants _you_ to be the last thing he sees!” he sobbed.

Ian was getting worried, his gut telling him something was wrong.

“Me and my brother were identical twins and yet I was always the ugly one. How's that possible? I always got the shit end of the stick. Everyone loved him. I did. You did. And then, for the first time in my life I found love, and then suddenly everything felt right, everything felt like it should. And what happens? The man who I trust more than anyone else in this world smashes me in the face with the shit end of the stick.” he cried.  
“Roger Spikey, you are endangering this entire mission and the lives of your fellow soldiers! You do not bring personal on to the battle field, is that understood?” Mickey spat.  
“You did.” shrugged the soldier, defiant.

Ian saw something odd. Something familiar in the eyes of one of the people in the back of the truck. But when he realized he was too late.  
Badrai stood up and took a kalashnikov rifle out of under his burqa and pointed it towards them.

“Boss! Boss! It’s Badrai!” Ian cried in the earpiece as he laid on the ground. “He’s in the burka. Everybody take cover!”  
Lying on the ground Ian heard a few gunshots and saw a glimpse of red. He realized someone was hit.

“Man down! Man down! Captain Milkovich is down!” Kinders screamed. Ian stood up and ran towards him as the soldiers in the back covered for him, shooting towards Badrai.  
Mickey had taken a bullet in the shin, his broken bone was visible, and one in the lower belly, near his left hip bone.

“One Cat A, urgent med-evac required! MIST out, wait out!” Ian screamed, trying not to panic as he started treating Mickey. “Zero this is amber three zero bravo. One Cat A! Urgent med-evac required!” he repeated, his voice trembling.  
Then he turned to the Captain, he was pale, losing a lot of blood.  
“Just stay with me, all right? You're going to be all right.” he repeated like a mantra “I'm going to get you out of here.” he promised.  
“Ian keep your head down!” screamed Smurf as he took aim.  
“Get the fuck down Smurf!” Ian replied.

Shots were being fired from every direction, and the three of them were in the middle of it.  
In the commotion, Smurf took a bullet to the left arm, in his bicep.  
“Two Cat A, urgent med-evac required! Repeat, urgent med-evac required.” Ian screamed in the radio. “Hold your fire! Hold your fire!Zero this is amber three zero bravo. Emergency med-evac required.” he cried again.  
“Smurf, I'm going to need a bit of self-help. Can you get a tourniquet on that?” he asked  
The sniper nodded and started to treat his wound himself as Ian finished packing the Captain’s leg and went back to check on his belly. “Stay with me, Sir, all right, stay with me. Stay with me.” he muttered.  
“Ian..” whispered Mickey, his conscience fading.  
“Oi, that's Gallagher to you.” he scolded, trying to keep it together.  
“How’s Smurf? Where is he? Did he take a hit?” the Captain asked, worried.  
“Put direct pressure on this, Boss.” the medic said, placing Mickey’s hand on the gauze that was keeping his bleeding contained, he then went to check on Smurf.  
“How you doing?” he asked.  
“How’s he doing, Ian?” Mickey echoed.  
“He’s doing all right, aren't you, Smurf?” replied the medic, fixing his tourniquet.  
“I dont know..” was the answer.  
“Yes, you are. You're going to get better, because you’re my best friend.” Ian said.  
“I am? Still?” he asked, almost crying.  
“Of course you are, you fuckwad. Put direct pressure here, like this. Good boy.” he said, and went back to the Captain.

Meanwhile Badrai was hiding behind the side of the truck, still targeting Ian, but the other soldiers’ fire was preventing him a hit.

“How you doing, Boss?” Ian asked softly.  
“No, you have to treat Smurf.” Mickey tried weakly to push him away with his free hand.  
“I’m treating both of you.” the medic assured.  
“I’m sorry. I'm sorry.” Smurf was repeating.

“Where the hell is he?” Kinders screamed in the earpiece.  
Ian turned around. He could see him. He could see those evil eyes staring right at him. Even though he was a terrible shot, the adrenaline pumped in his blood.  
“Does anyone have eyes on Badrai?” Kinders asked.  
Ian had dropped his rifle to treat the two injured soldiers, so he stood up, took the handgun he carried in the back of his pants and pointed it straight towards Badrai, who was trying to hide from the shots fired by the other soldiers.  
Ian spread his legs a little, closed his left eye, and holding the gun with both hands prayed silently to get him.  
“Gallagher what the fuck are you doing, get down now!” ordered Kinders. But Ian’s finger on the trigger was quicker. Badrai fell on his back with his arms spread open.  
The bullet had passed through his skull, killing him on the spot.  
It took a moment for Ian to realize what had happened, but the sound of a helicopter brought him back to reality.

The med-evac was there. They were going to take care of Mickey now. He ran and fell on his knees next to the man. “It’s over Boss” he whispered, gently caressing his face. “We won.”  
Mickey was gonna lose conscience within moments.  
“I love you too” the redhead whispered.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're reeeeally close to the end! One more chapter and then the epilogue!  
> Thanks for sticking around guys :)

During the helicopter ride back to Bastion the whole platoon was silent, present with the body but not with the mind. Their thoughts were with their Captain and their fellow soldier, injured, who knew if they’d make it.  
Ian couldn’t even bring himself to cry, he was catatonic. As soon as he felt the helicopter touch the ground he jumped down and ran straight to the hospital, ignoring the voices calling his name. 

“Where are they?” he cried, pushing the door open. “Someone talk to me!” he begged.  
A doctor approached him in the corridor and placed both her hands on his bicep squeezing lightly.  
“How are they?” he asked softly, his voice broken by tears. Se gave him a sad look and answered “I’ve gotta go.”  
Behind her, they were wheeling the Captain's bed. He was unconscious, intubated, his chest covered in gauze.  
“Boss..” the medic murmured, weeping, as they wheeled him in a room where Ian wasn’t allowed.  
A few seconds later some nurses pushed Smurf’s bed in the same corridor, towards another room.  
He was awake and crying. The bleeding in his arm was under control.  
“Smurf!” Ian cried, as the doctors kept him away to keep wheeling the bed.  
“He died in the MERT!” Smurf cried, inconsolable.  
“What?” Ian screamed, panicking.  
“They had to resuscitate him twice. We're going to lose him.” the sniper sobbed.  
“No. He's going to be all right.” Ian chose to believe.  
“What have I done, what have I done?” Smurf repeated, tears washing down his face.  
“It wasn’t your fault.” the medic reassured.  
“No. It was your and the Boss’s.” Roger stated, dry, as he was wheeled in the OR.

Ian stood there, leaning against a wall to keep standing. His knees weak, his world tumbling down, covered in the blood of the man he loved, who at the moment was fighting death, and there was nothing he could do.

**********************  
Ian had to leave Mickey’s side for debriefing and the after action report. Sitting in front of Corporal Kinders as he released his statement, he couldn’t help himself but cry.  
“How come I wasn't hit, sir?” Ian sobbed, as the officer closed the file with his name on. “When Badrai got out of that truck firing, why wasn't I hit? I should have been hit, not them.” he continued.  
The Corporal offered him a sympathetic look. He knew survivor’s guilt like the back of his hand. “I’d do anything to make sure they were all right. I'd swap places in a flash.” he cried again.  
“I’d like you to have a chat with the doctor, Private” the officer said.  
“I’m not mad, sir. I'm just saying that if it was me and not them, then everything would be all right.” Ian pleaded. “I shouldn't have got involved.”  
“Involved?” asked Kinders.  
“If I hadn't got involved with Bashira, then the Boss and Smurf would be fine and I wouldn't have had to kill anyone.” the medic explained, his voice still shaking.  
“They’re going to be fine.” the man reassured. “The others are going to get some food, you should join them.” he advised. “While I find someone to square Smurf and the Captain’s kit away.”  
“I’ll do it.” Ian offered.  
“Fine. Get it itemized and get it over to the QM’s department.” the man ordered. “And make sure you sanitize it, yes?” he added. “We don’t want Mrs Milkovich to find an unexpected stash of porn, now do we?”  
Ian smiled and nodded.

********************  
Entering the Captain’s tent was expectedly hard for Ian. He looked around and relived all the memories of the two of them together. The bed where they’d spend their nights, the table where he’d find him writing letters to his sister, the closet against which they’d exchange passionate kisses.  
He took a deep breath and started packing his things.  
In the closet, under all his clothes, Ian found a box. He couldn’t stop himself from looking in.  
He found some pictures of a little boy, “must be his son” he thought, he had the same blue eyes as the Captain, but no pictures of “Mrs Milkovich”.  
What he found instead were divorce paper, already signed by both him and Svetlana.  
Ian closed the box and packed it with the rest of Mickey’s stuff as he tried to keep the bad thoughts away.

****************  
On his way to the QM’s department, Ian saw Kazeem in his civil clothes - A white shirt, khakis and a beige sweater vest. It was so odd to him to see him like that for the first time, and not in his afghan uniform.  
“Wow, nearly didn't recognize you, you look like a teacher!” Ian smiled.  
“I am a teacher.” the interpreter smiled back  
“I should be a detective.” the medic joked.  
“So, you're off to Cyprus now?” asked Kazeem.  
“Yeah, that's it. Decompression then normalization. Doesn't feel very normal at the moment, though.” Ian shrugged.  
“It will do. Takes a long time. But one day.....everything feels normal again.” he reassured.  
“Do you think Bashira's found "normal" yet?”  
“She will, one day.”  
“Please, Kazeem.” Ian begged “Will you find out where she is and go see her? Just let me know that she's all right. Will you do that for me?”  
The interpreter sighed.  
The medic insisted “Please, just this one thing. I know that if you promise me you'll do it, ‘cause you're a good guy.” he pleaded.  
“Goodbye, Ian Gallagher.” Kazeem said softly, and hugged him.

 

******************  
One week later Ian was sitting on the beach in Cyprus, watching a volleyball game played by his mates, but not really paying attention. His only thought was Mickey and not knowing was driving him mad.  
“Wanna go for a swim?” asked Corporal Kinders plopping down next to him.  
“I can't really swim. But don't tell those asshats.” Ian shrugged.  
“How’d you get in the Army if you can't swim?” the man asked, taken aback.  
“Faked sick that day.” he smiled, playing with the sand.

“There’s people here you can talk to, you know.” he said, after a moment of silence.  
“I’m talking to you.” Ian replied.  
“You know what I'm talking about.” the officer insisted.  
“I just want to go home. This is pointless.”  
“It’s decompression.”  
“If we were complete I'd understand. But we ain't, we're two down.” Ian complained.  
“Look, I know you’re, like, in love with him, but he's in the best possible hands.” Kinders reassured.  
Ian’s jaw dropped. He looked at the man with his eyes open wide in surprise. How the hell could he know about him and the Captain? They were discreet!  
The Corporal smiled at his shocked reaction. “Oh, come on, it was a bit obvious.”  
“What?” Ian asked, faking serenity.  
“You and Smurf.” the Corporal shrugged.  
Ian sighed in relief and almost burst out laughing.  
“Thank God he’s going to be all right.” Kinders said.  
“What do you mean by that?” asked the medic slightly worried.  
The officer gave him a puzzled expression.  
“You said thank God HE's going to be all right, like the Boss ain’t.” Ian repeated, now he was scared.  
The Corporal’s face darkened. “The Boss is going to have an operation.” he said, in a serious tone,  
“Why?” asked Ian, terrified, as a lump formed in his throat.  
“There have been complications.” he said, vague.  
“Is that bad?” the medic felt tears rolling down his cheeks. His voice was shaking.  
“It’s not good, Gallagher.” was all Kinders said.

****************  
Ian counted the days until he could get back home, and when he finally did, he found Fiona and Lip waiting for him at the base when he landed.  
The hugged him tighter than ever, Fiona even cried a little.  
“I’ve been worried sick about you.” she said, tears of joy streaming down her face.  
“I’m back now.” he smiled.  
“You’ll tell us all about it on the way home, yeah?” she said, calming down.  
“I’m not coming straight back, Fi. I’ve got to go to the hospital.” he replied, hoping they’d understand.  
“Oh” she sighed, and then nodded. “We’ll drop you off, then” she assured.  
“You sure you don’t wanna pop home and change? You’ve still got your uniform and all that” asked Lip.  
“Most people don’t hate us, you know?” Ian joked.  
“Sure they don’t mind you going straight to the hospital instead of waiting for the others?” Fiona said.  
“No, I asked. It’s because I’m the medic, I’m allowed.” Ian explained.

*************  
Ian ran inside the hospital and rushed to the nurse, asking for information on the Captain’s state.  
“He’s not here” he heard a familiar voice say.  
“Smurf!” he screamed, happy to see him standing. His arm was secured by a sling, but besides that, he was fine. Ian hugged him gently.  
“What’s happening? Where’s the Boss?” Ian asked.  
“The first operation last week doesn't seem to have done the trick. He got rushed into the OR about an hour ago. You've come just in time.”  
Smurf said.  
“Is it that bad?” Ian asked, afraid of the answer.  
“The next 12 hours are crucial, apparently… You know. So the nurses have said.”  
“He’s a fighter.” the medic insisted.  
“Some things you just can't fight.” shrugged the sniper, resigned.  
“Smurf, I'm sorry. I understand if you hate me.” Ian started.  
“Shut up.” the man replied.

They both sat down in the middle of a row of chairs that looked straight to the Captain’s empty room.

“How are you doing?” the medic asked again.  
“I got a lucky escape.”  
“Not that lucky.” Ian pointed out.  
“The scars will heal.” shrugged Smurf.  
“Smurf, I know it's all my fault.” the redhead pleaded, unable to forget the last time they talked.  
“I guess you can't help your feelings any more than I can help mine.” he said, and then after a moment he added “If I could have my time again…”  
“What? Seriously, what would you do different?”  
“All of it. I'd do everything differently. But you'd still love the Boss.” he said.  
Ian didn’t know what to answer.

Suddenly a young girl rushed in holding her phone. She looked exactly like Mickey, attitude included, but with long hair and a more feminine body.  
Smurf stood up to greet her and inform her about what was happening, then introduced her to Ian.  
Her name was Mandy, she was Mickey’s sister.  
“Are you guys twins?” Ian asked, amazed by the resemblance.  
“God no” Mandy snorted. “If we were in the same womb I’d have eaten him years ago.” she laughed. “I’m two years younger” she then said.  
Ian nodded and sat down again. He couldn’t help but notice the way Smurf looked at her. And the way she looked at him. He smiled softly.  
“He’s going to be in the OR a long time. Why don't you go and rest?” the nurse suggested.  
“I promised myself I'd wait here. I'll wait here.” said the sniper, stubborn.  
“Me too” echoed Ian and Mandy.  
“OK.” said the nurse and left them.

When the Captain, still unconscious, was wheeled back to his room Mandy was sleeping soundly on Smurf’s shoulder.  
“How is he?” asked Ian, standing up to talk to the doctor.  
“It was an emergency operation. No-one expected this latest bleed. We'll be monitoring him throughout the night and let's see where we are in the morning.” he explained.  
“Thank you.” replied the redhead.  
“Now go and get some sleep.” whispered the nurse approaching them again.  
“I’m not going anywhere.” said Ian.  
“Nor me.” Smurf said, pointing at Mandy.

After some time, Ian stood up and peeked inside the room.  
“He looks bad.” Ian said, biting his lip in fear.  
“You can't tell.” replied Smurf.  
“Do you want your ring back? You might need it when…” Ian teased, nodding towards Mandy and grinning.  
“Shut your cake hole.” laughed Smurf back. “We’ve been keeping each other company these days, that’s it.”  
“Is this how they call it now?” the medic teased again, and they both laughed softly.  
Ian woke up abruptly on the same chair a few hours later. He was confused, but the sun had risen already, so his first thought was to check on the Captain.  
He was greeted by Smurf and Mandy who were already awake and waiting for the doctors to come talk to them.  
Ian went to grab a cup of coffee and when he came back a nurse was checking Mickey’s vitals.  
Ian, Smurf and Mandy stood outside the room and just stared at him, when, to everyone’s surprise, the Boss turned his head towards them and stared back, smiling softly.  
Ian started crying.  
The nurse invited them in, Ian walked quickly to the bed and sat next to him grabbing his hand.  
“Are you really here or is it the morphine?” asked Mickey, smiling softly.  
“I’m here.” Ian said, wiping his tears of joy.  
“Smurf” the Captain slightly nodded looking at him, then he turned to his sister and greeted her “Assface” he laughed softly.  
“You shithead, you scared the crap out of me!” she cried as she ran to hug him gently.  
Now it was Smurf’s turn to cry. He didn’t dare approach the bed.  
“I don’t know what I was thinking, Boss, I lost control.” he apologized.  
“We all did.” he reassured.  
“I’m no soldier.” the sniper cried harder.  
“I’m proud to have served alongside you, Smurf.” he insisted, and the two shook hands.  
“Well, I’ve seen the Boss. I'm outta here.” Roger joked. “Mandy, want some of my hospital breakfast?” he offered.  
“Of course” she smiled, and they both left.  
“Oh god what have I done. I’m gonna have Smurf as a brother in law, please pull the plug!” Mickey joked.  
“You’re not kept alive by the machine, silly!” smiled Ian, sitting down next to him and giving him a sweet peck on the forehead.  
“You’re going to be all right.” the medic assured.  
They were about to kiss when the sound of high heels on the hospital floor interrupted them.  
“Hello” said the woman, in a strong russian accent.  
“Hi daddy!” squealed a young boy, running towards the bed.  
“Hey Yev!” Mickey smiled softly as he ruffled his hair. “Look how you’ve grown!”  
Ian felt awkward, like he was an intruder.  
“Yev, this is someone who helped Daddy in Afghanistan.” he said, and turned to look at him. He grabbed his hand and continued “I wouldn't be here if it weren't for him.” he was sincere.  
“Yeah, sorry about that.” joked Ian, and they all laughed, even Svetlana.  
“What I mean is he saved my life. I would have bled out if it wasn't for his prompt actions.” he added.  
“I better go.” Ian said softly.  
“Oh no, you don’t have to!” said Svetlana.  
“I better go” repeated the medic. He took one last look at Mickey and smiled.  
“It’s good to see you, Gallagher.” Mickey said.  
“Right back atcha.” replied Ian, leaving the room.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo we're done! I can't believe it.  
> Thank you all for sticking with me, the only thing missing now is the epilogue that will be up soon.  
> Lots of love and thanks for your feedback, it really means a lot.
> 
> Oh and by the way this is where it gets different from the show (during/after the date) I really didn't have it in me to make it as sad as the writers of Our Girl did!

Half an hour later Ian snuck back in the hospital and took a peek inside Mickey’s room. He was alone and awake so Ian let himself in. They both smiled at each other. A genuine, heartfelt smile, worth more than a thousand words.  
“Has Svetlana gone?” asked Ian, as he sat down next to the man he loved.  
Mickey nodded and caressed Ian’s face.  
“She’s having the life she wants, now.” he muttered.  
“What kind of life?” asked the medic.  
“Settled, I guess. I could never do that. Always preferred being on tour.. Living like that. The Army is all I’ve ever known.. It’s.. All I’ve ever wanted.” Mickey murmured.  
Ian saddened visibly.  
“Until I met you” he then added.  
The redhead smiled, even though his eyes were wet. “I don’t think I could have actually lived with myself if I’d managed to get you killed” he said.  
The Captain shook his head. “It wasn't your fault. I was the officer. I failed you and the rest of the platoon.” he said, harsh and full of guilt.  
“You didn't fail anybody.” reassured Ian, gently caressing him.  
“I’m resigning my commission. It happened on my watch.” replied the older man, stubborn.  
“What are you going to do?” asked the medic, taken aback.  
“I’m not sure. What I do know is there's nothing in our way any more. We don't have to wait out anymore” Mickey shrugged, before leaning a little towards Ian, who got the message and pressed his lips on the other man’s.

The whole platoon had arrived to the hospital, and after annoying the hell out of Smurf, they had gone to find Mickey, but as they saw him kiss Ian from the window, they decided to come back later. Some of them exchanged money and others cursed. Apparently they had been placing bets for a while now.

***********************  
“It sucks you can’t come to the ceremony though” complained Ian holding his phone in the crook of his neck as he tried to tie his tie as best as he could.  
“I wanted to make you proud” he added.  
“I am proud.” promised Mickey on the other end of the phone, still in the hospital. His dismissal was a question of days though, and Ian was thrilled.  
He did a piss poor job with his tie but luckily Fiona intervened.  
“Thanks Fi” he smiled.  
“Of course” she replied softly.

 

***********************  
“Parade! By the left, quick march!” screamed Corporal Kinders as the whole platoon marched in two lines.  
Relatives were cheering and taking pictures of the soldiers.  
“Parade halt! By the right, turn! Step! Front! Stand at ease!” he said.  
The platoon was now facing some officers in their best uniforms.

“Parade formed up. Ready for inspection and presentation of medals, sir.” stated Kinders.  
A private Ian had never seen was walking around carrying a blue, velvet pillow with 12 medals on it, the Major walked alongside him and pinned them one by one on every soldier’s chest.  
“Proud day for my section” started Corporal Kinders, proud. “Our CO, Captain Milkovich, injured on tour, wrote up a member of our section for an honor after an extraordinary act of courage. Private Gallagher has been recognized on the operational honors and awards list for his bravery and valor on Operation Herrick.” Ian smiled, while the Gallaghers were - as usual - impossible to contain. They were loud and happy, but most of all proud of their brother. “Private Roger Spikey was injured and with no regard to his personal safety, he put his life ahead of his own. To save a life whilst being willing to sacrifice your own, is above and beyond the call of duty. The President of the United States has found it fitting to award Private Gallagher the Medal of Honor.”  
Everyone cheered as the ribbon was appointed to Ian’s chest, Fiona cried a little.

“Are you gonna meet the President?” asked Carl excited.  
“It’s, uh, possible” replied Ian.  
His brain was already whirring as everyone cheered and hugged him to congratulate him.

***********  
Ian arrived home and texted Mickey straightaway, but the man didn’t answer. Ian thought he was probably resting but he couldn’t wait to pitch him the idea he had had.  
He dropped on the bed and scoffed, running his hands on his face.  
His phone bleeped, bringing him back to reality.  
“Who is it?” asked Lip, entering their room.  
“It’s just an e-mail..” Ian said, vague.  
“Smurf?”  
“No”  
“Then who?” insisted the older brother.  
Ian didn’t answer.  
“Come on, Ian, talk to me.”  
“It’s just a friend of mine from Afghan.” he replied.  
“Soldier?”  
“No, he's a teacher at a university.” Ian explained. “He’s looking after a little friend of mine. Well, he's trying to…” Ian sat up and put his head in his hands. “Oh, why is nothing ever simple, man?”  
“What is it?” asked Lip, confused.  
“I’m going for a run.” Ian said, and he stood up.  
“Tell me first.” insisted his brother.  
Ian sighed and said “We got this little girl into a safe house in Kabul. My friend was trying to see her and when he finally got permission he found out she'd been moved. Now he's got to start the process over.”  
“That sucks man.. But I’m sure she'll be all right.” Lip tried to console him.  
“Are you? Cause I sure as hell haven't got a fucking clue, and it’s tearing me apart, man.” Ian said, upset.  
“Why?”  
“Because I might've ruined her life. I might have even killed her. How was what I even did heroic?”  
“You heard what that Captain of yours had to say.” Lip remarked. “Valour and all that. Bravery on the battlefield.” he smiled.  
“Yeah, from his hospital bed!” muttered the medic. “I’m going for a run, I need to clear my mind.” he then said, and left.

 

*******************  
That night Ian couldn’t sleep. He hadn’t heard from Mickey and he was worried for Bashira.  
Impulsively, he grabbed his phone and called Kazeem.  
The man answered after a couple minutes, by his voice Ian could tell he was sleeping.  
“Hello?”  
“Kazeem, it’s me, Ian Gallagher. I'm sorry to call you... I just wanted to talk to you.”  
“Did you get my e-mail?” asked the interpreter.  
“Yeah. What happened?”  
“I’m trying to track her down. The authorities say that they moved her from the first house because she was in danger.” he explained.  
“Kazeem, we have to find her. We have to make sure she's safe.” he said, worried.  
“Yes.” agreed the other man.

Ian gave up on the idea of trying to sleep. He stood up and started cleaning the kitchen, needing to be busy.  
“You deserve another medal for tackling this kitchen” joked Fiona, creeping up on him and scaring him a little.  
“What’s wrong?” she then asked, motherly.  
Ian leaned on the counter with both hands and just couldn’t keep it in anymore.  
“I’m dying, Fi.” he just said, sobbing.  
“What?” she rushed to wrap her arms around him.  
“I’m no hero. At least, I don’t think I am. I don’t know whether what I did in Afghan was good or bad. I’m just worried that I put that little girl's life in danger.”  
“What little girl?” asked Fiona, confused.  
“I killed her father.” was all Ian could say, before falling apart, crying inconsolably.  
“What have they done to you, Ian? I'll look after you, baby. I'll always look after you. You’re home now, you’re with your family.” his sister repeated, soothing as she rocked him gently in her arms.  
“I had her taken away from her family, Fi.” he muttered. “I just need to know that she's all right. I dunno what I was thinking. It’s just… all seemed possible, everything just seemed possible on tour. And coming home is like.. waking up.”

They stayed there, holding each other and crying softly until Ian was feeling better.

 

*************************  
Three days later Ian had rented a car and was leaning on it, waiting, outside the hospital with the biggest smile.  
Mickey limped towards him with a crutch. He was doing much better and smiled right back.  
“What, see something you like, Firecrotch?” he joked.  
“You look beautiful” Ian said, as he leaned down to kiss him on the lips.  
“You’re not bad yourself” the Captain whispered.  
In the car ride they talked and laughed, but mostly just enjoyed one another’s company.  
“Holy shit, I’ve just realized something.” Ian said, as he helped Mickey exit the car.  
“What?” the Captain asked.  
“We’ve never actually been on a real date.” the medic said, and turned to look at his man.  
“Bullshit. We’ve spent a lot of nice evenings together” Mickey shrugged.  
“No but I mean, like a date where you sit down and you go to a nice restaurant and you put a nice shirt and you like, eat with utensils!” Ian blabbed, amusing the older man.  
“Alright, you wanna do that?” asked Mickey, smiling.  
“Sure” Ian said, hugging him.  
“Tonight?” asked the older man again.  
“Perfect.” replied Ian.

 

*******************  
Ian’s heart skipped a beat when he went to pick up Mickey and saw him in a dark blue dress shirt, black jeans and his raven hair slicked back with gel.  
Mickey didn’t miss his reaction.  
“Damn, Gallagher, I was afraid you had a uniform kink and you wouldn’t want me anymore if you saw me in normal clothes, but luckily it’s not the case” he joked.  
“Shut up” replied Ian blushing.

They sat down at the restaurant and placed their order, and when the waitress left, Mickey held Ian’s hand, surprising him.  
They were never happier.  
“So are you going to stay here then, Boss?” Ian broke the ice and started the conversation.  
“Mickey.” replied the Captain.  
“Mickey?” asked Ian, failing to hold back a small laugh.  
“Are you smirking?” the older man said, almost offended.  
“No.” lied Ian.  
“What’s so fucking hilarious about Mickey? What are you going to do? Call me Boss for the rest of our lives?”  
“The rest of our lives?” asked Ian, smirking even harder  
“Well, you know what I mean.” the older man mumbled, blushing.  
“So are you going to stay here then… Mick?” Ian asked, waiting for Mickey’s approval for the nickname.  
The Captain smiled and nodded. I've got some rehab at the base and then... yeah... back here for a bit.” he shrugged. “So how's being back home? Coping?” he added.  
“It’s.. different. Being back with my family... I just can't sit still. It just feels wrong.”  
“Has your CO been in touch?”  
Ian nodded. “He forwards me on MOD trials and things that I might be interested in.”  
“They want to keep you in.” confirmed Mickey.  
“What about you?” the medic asked.  
“I don't know if sitting behind a desk is my thing.” he shrugged. “Whatever. I mean... maybe we're more alike than we know. That was kinda obvious from being on tour.”  
Mickey gently placed a kiss on Ian’s hand and smiled at him.  
“What happened on tour…” Ian started. “I know I failed you… I failed myself.”  
“You’re not to blame, Ian.” Mickey replied.  
“It all just fell to shit. I hear Afghan when I shut my eyes to sleep and when I wake up…”  
“You think you're back there.” the Captain finished his sentence.  
“I don't know. I don't know where I am.” he shrugged.  
“Which roles has your CO sent you?”  
“It doesn't matter.”  
“I thought I saw one about... mentoring Afghan medics.” suggested the older man.  
“Don’t you want me to stay with you?” asked Ian confused.  
“Of course I do. But I also want you to be brilliant.”  
“What does that even mean?”  
“It means I love you” Mickey blurted out. “And it means I think youre part way through a journey.”  
“I'm looking for something.” agreed Ian. “I’m just shitting myself at what I might find.”  
“Well, you're not going to find it stuck here with me. Driving me back and forth to rehab.”  
“There’s something else I wanted to tell you.. for a while now..” Ian said after a minute or two. “I’m working with Kazeem to find out where Bashira is.” Ian started, looking tentatively at Mickey.  
“And.. I was thinking that maybe.. Since I’m a war hero and all.. Like, the President gave me a medal, maybe I can..”  
“Oh god Ian.” sighed Mickey, understanding where he was going “You wanna bring her back here.” he said.  
Ian nodded. “I mean it’s just an idea and Kazeem hasn’t even found her yet but I was thinking that maybe.. If you agreed..” he said, agitated.  
“Ian.” Mickey said taking his hand. “Calm down.”  
Ian took a deep breath.  
“Are you suggesting that we become parents?” he laughed.  
Ian was surprised at how well Mickey took it.  
“Well, I mean it wouldn’t be tomorrow, it could take months, years even.. but yeah.. That’s what I thought..” he murmured.  
“If you’re in, I’m in.” Mickey shrugged simply, and Ian gave him the brightest smile before pressing their lips together.

 

****************  
Five months later.

 

“Guys Jesus how are you still asleep!” yelled Mandy, barging in their room half dressed and with her hair full of curlers.  
The two men moaned and got up of their bed. They had been living together at Mickey’s for a few months now.  
“And wear some clothes for fuck’s sake!” she reprimanded.  
Mandy had slept at their place because it was her wedding day, and she didn’t want Smurf to see her before the ceremony.

Mickey almost shed a few tears when he gave her away at the altar. He was doing rehab, but still had to walk with a cane. Ian was Smurf’s best man and gave a wonderful speech during the party. Everyone cried. Twice. A job well done.

That night, Ian and Mickey went back to bed, exhausted but happy, savoring their last night together for a while. Ian would be leaving for Afghan first thing in the morning to be a mentor for six weeks, while Mickey had taken a desk job at the base. Everything was finally perfect.


	19. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god I can't believe it's over! hahaha  
> Really thank you ALL for sticking with me and commenting and leaving kudos etc. You really rock guys, I couldn't have made it without your support, this is my longest fic ever! Hell, it's longer than my thesis.  
> Anyways, the epilogue is kinda short and it's like 95% smut and 5% cheesiness, I don't know what you were expecting but I hope I didn't disappoint you.  
> Love you all <3

Mickey was sprawled on his belly when he was sweetly awoken by a certain ginger breathing on the back of his neck and gently leaving a trail of kisses on it.  
“Hmmm ‘morning” the dark haired man muttered as he stretched.  
He was about to turn and face his spouse, but the medic quickly laid on top of him, keeping him in that position.  
“Happy anniversary” he whispered.  
Mickey smiled softly. “Happy anniversary” he said back “Are you gonna bring me breakfast in bed?” he teased.  
“Something like that” replied Ian, shifting a bit and poking him with his erection.  
Mickey laughed genuinely at the dirtiness of that sentence, but then again, Ian’s innuendos were brilliant. “Good enough for me” he smiled.  
Ian didn’t waste any time, getting him rid of his pants, but not letting him change position.  
“What if the kids hear us?” Mickey asked, worried and kind of self conscious.  
“They won’t, we’ll be quiet” whispered Ian, who was already working on leaving a trail of lovebites and hickeys all over Mickey’s neck.  
“Of course they won’t” the other man replied, sarcastic.  
Ian smiled at that but continued his ministrations, focusing on massaging Mickey’s back and moving towards his ass.

The older man moaned softly, relishing in the feeling of his boyfriend kneading his cheeks and spreading them open.  
He shuddered when he first felt Ian’s tongue lap and tease his perineum.  
Ian smiled softly at how well he knew Mickey’s body. He could turn him on like a switch after all this time.  
“God” Mickey whispered, shivering, “stop being a tease!”.  
Ian laughed as he stretched to grab the lube from the night stand. He slicked his fingers and started opening Mickey up, slowly at first, but growing more and more confident as he pushed another finger in and started moving them back and forth.  
Mickey was going crazy, he met Ian’s every thrust, fucking himself on the man’s fingers, when he placed a hand on his hips and told him to stand still.  
“I’m ready, come on” complained Mickey as the needy bottom he always was.  
“All right” replied the other man, slicking himself and lining up.  
He pushed in gently, knocking the air out of Mickey’s lungs for a second. He’d never grow accustomed to that feeling he loved so much.  
Ian laid on top of Mickey as he slowly bottomed out, gently nipping at his shoulder and giving him time to adjust.  
The older man moved his hips a couple of times, meaning he was ready, Ian’s wet moans in his ear already driving him crazy.  
The redhead started moving and established a steady pace.  
Feeling Mickey clench around him and make those beautiful noises was always like the first time to him, it would never cease to be it for him.  
“Oh God Mickey” he moaned, as he rolled his hips.  
“Harder, Ian.. fuck” the other man muttered, already close.  
“Not so fast” smirked Ian, as he slowed down until he pulled out and laid next to Mickey, on his back.  
“The fuck?” asked the other man confused.  
“Ride me.” Ian said.  
The older man licked his lips and climbed on top of him quickly. He sat on his cock slowly, until he bottomed out with a grunt.

Mickey placed his hands on Ian’s pecs to steady himself as he started riding him at a furious pace, ignoring the burn in his thighs and aiming at his prostate with every thrust, while Ian grabbed his hips so hard he’d leave bruises on them, meeting Mickey’s movements.  
“I love it when you ride me.. I love looking at you fucking yourself on my dick.. You look so fucking hot right now..” Ian muttered on and on.  
Mickey’s eyes rolled back as he felt his orgasm building up, while Ian wasn’t gonna miss any second of it.  
Hearing the other man’s shallow breath and seeing his abdomen clench he realized he was close. He took his cock in his hand and stroked it, as he planted his feet on the mattress to pound him.  
“Come for me, Mick” he groaned. 

It was all that took Mickey to tip him over the edge. He loved being watched by Ian as much as Ian loved watching him. He bit his lip in a desperate attempt to be quiet, shuddering as his orgasm washed over him and then coming in Ian’s hand.  
When he was starting to feel the overstimulation Ian flipped them so he’d be on top and pounded him a half doze of times, angling himself so he wouldn’t hit his prostate, and came soon after, his groans muffled in the crook of Mickey’s neck.

“I love you” whispered Ian as he pressed their foreheads together.  
“Right back atcha” smirked Mickey before kissing him.  
It was their thing.

 

**************  
“Can you believe Bashira’s going to college tomorrow?” asked Ian, flipping a pancake.  
“Fuck no” replied Mickey, having mixed feelings about the whole thing.  
He was proud of their daughter, but he also knew they were gonna miss her really bad, even though it was the right thing for her, to grow up and all that.  
“Oh and by the way Mandy and Smurf confirmed they’re coming tonight for dinner, and they’re bringing the kids too.”  
“Awesome.” replied Mickey, still a little distant.  
“What’s wrong baby?” the medic asked, serving him his favorite pancakes.  
“Nothing it’s just.. It feels like yesterday..” he started.  
“What does?”  
“Your phone call. You telling me Kazeem had come see you after one of your lectures to tell you he’d found her. I remember being so anxious waiting for the plane at the base. All my colleagues mocking me and all that.” explained Mickey, nostalgic.  
Ian smiled softly and wrapped a hand around him, gently kissing the top his head.  
“We were there for every nightmare, every flu, every big thing since when she came into our lives, and now it’s time for her to be all grown up.. it all passed so fast” he shrugged.  
“We will always be there” Ian reassured. “And by the time it’s Yev’s turn to go to college we’ll probably be grandparents, so we will never really be alone.” he smiled.  
“Grandparents, jeez.” Mickey ran a hand through his hair.  
“Come on, not yet. We’ll have plenty more time together, that’s all I meant.” Ian smiled.

******************  
The first day of work after Bashira leaving was weird for both of them. They didn’t really work together but they were at the same base so they’d run into each other.  
September usually meant a whole bunch of new recruits, so Ian was getting started on his speech for the medics-to-be he was going to train. They all looked so young and ready to learn. He’d found he loved being a teacher.

Mickey peeked in the lecture room towards the end of the lesson just to hear a small part of said speech.  
“They used to talk about the "golden hour", how we as medics had the first hour to treat the patient to intervene to save their lives. Now the talk is of the "platinum ten minutes", and if you think about the narrow window of opportunity, it kind of highlights the need for prompt action in the field in order to minimize the loss of limb or life in Afghanistan.” Ian explained. “And remember, “Disasters happen when we are not 100% on it. We lose lives through catastrophic bleeding. Our actions in the first few moments will either save a life or lose a life. You are the most important people on the ground.” he said, and he noticed a certain dark-haired man in the back of the room, so he added. “So it’s vital that you stay focused, stay alert, stay alive.” he said, winking at him.

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is welcome as usual, especially the one that helps me grow and learn how to write better! Thank you for reading! :)


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